Wonderful recipes, and I sure appreciate everyone’s thoughts on a subject (food) always near and dear to my heart. I would only add that before using it, canned salmon be put in a colander and rinsed. It seems to cut down on what I feel is excessive saltiness from the canning process. I like mixing it with egg, panko bread crumbs, and garlic, then made into patties, sauteed, and topped with hollandaise or bernaise sauce (the packaged mixes from Knorr work very well for this.) Bon appetit, and don’t worry about the bones!
Happy Mother’s Day to all!
We had First Fish this past week. We have a special education/cultural permit so that our fisher netted about a hundred Copper River red salmon and five Copper River king salmon. The first fish go to the Elders which I helped deliver and receive. Then we had a First Fish dinner for our tribal members.
The best way to prepare canned salmon is to mix it with cream cheese and onions and serve with crackers.
Another is in quiche or souffle. Have it mixed with rice and peas.
Most important: have some with a friend.
We start subsistence fishing on Monday and then the gillnet seasonn on Thursday. Happy fishing everyone!
A Eskimo elder from Nome told me that she’s thinking about sending family members down to Anchorage to dip up some salmon for their freezer. Thirty year restrictions on subsistence salmon harvest in the Nome area rivers is forcing people to get their salmon elsewhere. If they knew their rights as residents of Alaska, this lack of salmon wouldn’t be an issue for so long. Millions of dollars has been thrown in this lack of salmon black hole over the last ten years. It’s time to hold the mismanagers accountable.
How do I find that wonderul letter by the reverend? I am not finding it on facebook. I also don’t seem to be able to copy and paste from the mudflats site.
I don’t do “facebook”, but I do know this. Hope it helps.
The Rev. Matthew Dutton-Gillett
Rector, Trinity Church in Menlo Park, CA
An Episcopal Community
With a Seeking Soul, a Heart for Justice, and an Open Spirit
This post is the perfect opportunity for me to ask some advice from the Alaskans and other salmon lovers here at the flats.
Despite the fact that my family had a boat and I grew up spending nearly every summer weekend fishing in the bays of Long Island, I am NOT a fish lover (much to my parent’s disappointment!) and usually avoid eating most kinds. The only time I really enjoyed salmon (out of my admittedly limited experience) was when I had it grilled at a salmon bake in Alaska. However, I am always willing to try something again and am open to new food experiences.
I recently bought a can of Alaskan salmon (and, yes, I made sure it was wild!) but now I have no idea what to do with it. Does anyone have suggestions for how to prepare it for someone who doesn’t much like to eat fish?
http://www.bristolbaysockeye.org/recipes/
the taco recipe works for all salmon species.break the fish up more than pic shows.
coho (silver ) salmon is less “fishy” tasting to many who are not big fish fans…which did you get?
also- the blackened salmon recipes out there are very good and you can break that up over a caesar salad and is waaaaayyyy yummy.
happy eating!!! :-0
I’m drooling on my iPad… A tangy BBQ sauce makes a great marinade- especially one from Kansas City (although I’m not visiting our relatives from that Whacko State any time soon).
Sockeye is yummy -esp in tacos or smoked
Next time look for coho if the sockeye seems a bit strong for you.
Don’t give up on salmon!!!
When you find the way you like it, you’ll be hooked forever.
And dream about it 🙂
And you’ll be supporting the real rill Alaskans!
I love to make Salmon patties, with fresh/frozen baby peas and mashed potatoes. Yum!
Same recipe as for tuna patties, i.e. chopped onion, celery, 1 or 2 eggs, bread crumbs, mix together, form patties, and fry in olive/butter oil til nicely browned, crunchy edge.
Actually, upon re-reading, on the patties, you form them in the frying pan by dropping in a tablespoon or more to form croquettes(sp) kinda patties. They aren’t like forming hamburger, too loose with the egg mixture which you want.
I make salmon patties a lot, but have never thought about using Tuna. MMMMM–I will have to try this. I use a little milk for the salmon patties.Also use crackers instead of bread crumbs.
1) open can
2) empty contents onto small plate
3) with plate in hand, bend over towards floor
4) in a high voice, say “Here, Kitty,Kitty,Kitty!”
5) place plate on floor and stand aside as feline stampedes to plate
I don’t eat cooked fish either ! My mom would bake the bejesus outta fish New England style.. and I would eat PB&J sandwiches for dinner that nite
Maybe your mother was related to my dearly departed- she was The Wretched Cook… Infamous for her broiled lamb patties wrapped in bacon, and her liver pancakes. Ack.
I grew up eating overcooked spaghetti with Campbell’s tomato soup on it in place of pasta sauce or pork chops and london broil steaks cooked until no amount of chewing could break down the fibers. I would chew the meat until my jaw ached, stick it in my cheek like a little chipmunk and then sneak to the bathroom where the wad of gray protein would get flushed.
The meat was usually accompanied by mushy green beans and mashed potatoes made from flakes that were never measured – one night you could pour them from the spoon and the next you could use them to stucco a house.
I had a reputation for being a very picky eater when I was little. I later realized it was just self-preservation saving me from inedible food. No wonder I wore the same size school uniform from kindergarten until 6th grade!
When my father retired early he took over the cooking for us by unanimous consent. He was a great cook and never prepared a piece of meat that didn’t get gravy or vegetable that didn’t get cheese sauce. We all gained about 15 pounds that first year…but our tummies were delighted! 🙂
My ma was raised with a root cellar, no electricity or running water and only a wood cookstove to heat the cabin and cook on ( and melt the snow for bath water/laundry water and heat the flatirons to iron clothes ). When we were small, out of habit, she cooked everything to mush or shoe leather to make sure it was safe to eat.Bleah.
Dad was our savior on Sat mornings with his fresh strawberry pancakes,
When Ma discovered steamers and a wok- life got wonderful! Straight from the water fish and right out of the garden veggies- yum!
We still raided the smoker regularly- getting grounded was worth it 🙂
And raiding the strawberry patch and fresh peas was definitely worth it too.
I was going to mention fish cakes but it seems someone *cough cough JaneE* beat me to it. Sigh.
I make mine with mashed spuds, salmon, and whatever kinds of seasonings I feel like using at the time and whichever herbs I happen to have fresh. It’s hard to go wrong with em! 1/2 to 2/3 mashed spuds to 1/2 to 1/3 salmon, depending on your tastes and how much mashed potatoes you have left over from last night’s dinner.
They can be make croquette fashion as someone *cough cough JaneE* mentioned, and after breading it’s much better to bake them. Well, the baking part is just my opinion of course.
The bones in the canned stuff are edible. I like em, no one else in the house does except for The Cat. The canned salmon I get down in Oz has this stamped on the top: Wild Alaskan Salmon. Ahhhhh, bliss.
Get (or make) some fresh fettucine. Cook it up with a fresh alfredo sauce. Throw the drained canned salmon on it. Yum. Another idea, use it for sandwiches, just as you would tuna. Salmon patties are delicious with stewed tomates and cornbread on the side. I can up several cases of red salmon every year. I put it in quiche. I put it in omeletts. In ceaser salads. mix it like tuna salad and eat it with crackers. I put it together with fresh asparagus spears, just slightly steamed and mixed with a newberg sauce and fill crepes for a brunch treat.
Thanks everyone for the ideas, information, suggestions and recipes.
I have a whole pan full of chicken enchiladas to get me through most of this week so I will take the next few days to peruse your posts and let you know what I cook…and if I like it! 🙂
That salmon looks beautiful and yummy. I am in Cleveland with grandbaby Hannah! Both my kids have to work today and my daughter in law’s mother wasn’t able to do child care. Good for me. Hannah is an easy happy baby. We have had a nice morning and she is now taking a nap. I completely forgot how much paraphernalia a baby needs. LOL I gave Hannah a kiss from everyone of you.
((hugs)) back at both of you. This Yia Yia will miss seeing Benjamin and his parents tomorrow, but maybe we can Skype. Here’s hoping he gives Daughter1 an easy day as a gift…
Yummy, salmon is good food. Springtime brings renewed hope to thousands of Western Alaska people – hoping that they will be blessed with a bountiful salmon season.
It would also sure help if we could all get some east winds to blow this ice out of the bays and areas up north so frieght and fuel can get to the villages.
I am not hearing great things on the Y&K rivers for Chinook but I am hoping the Chums will at least be bountiful!!
Of course for those of us looking for a good Sockeye or Pink harvest….good luck there too!!
We have the “let’s wait and see” management technique up here in the Norton Sound. Won’t know until the salmon gets here. Word is that the Fish and Game workers in Nome are predicting at least 50,000 reds into the Pilgrim River which drains into the Grantley Harbor where the village of Teller sits. It’s a good way to keep fishers off their backs – “wait and see” technique.
An Episcopalian priest writes on his facebook page.
Dear People of America,
Let’s admit it: this gay marriage business is difficult for many people. I, for one, understand that completely. I know that for many of you, the mere thought of a same-sex relationship is just, well, disgusting. I recognize that many of you believe that such relationships are contrary to the law of nature and the law of God. And I respect the fact that this is how you feel and what you believe. I respect and honor your right to feel that way and to hold those beliefs. I defend strongly your right to say what you think and how you feel — though, some of you are being kind of hateful, and I can’t get behind that. I also strongly defend your right to join churches that refuse to sanction same-sex relationships –although, some of them are being kind of hateful, too, and I can’t get behind that, either. So, I respect deeply your right to all these feelings and beliefs.
What I can’t understand, though, is this: if gay marriage is legalized, this has absolutely no practical impact on your life. Nothing will change for you. Your churches won’t be required to perform those marriages. You won’t be required to accept invitations to them. And it’s highly unlikely that your spouse will wake up and decide that he/she would rather be in a same-sex relationship. Your life will be exactly the same as it has always been. The only thing that would be different is that you would know that there are married gay people out there. But you could probably avoid thinking about that a lot of the time.
However, if gay marriage is not legal, then people do actually get hurt. Their lives are genuinely impacted. Lifelong partnerships can’t be recognized. People can be denied access to their loved ones in hospitals and other situations. And young people who discover themselves to be gay have to face life knowing that they can never have a life in the way that a straight person can. And some of them, facing that reality, kill themselves. Or twist themselves up in horrible ways trying to be someone they are not. I could go on, but the point is, denying legal legitimacy to same-sex relationships does actual harm to actual people.
So, if the function of law is to promote social goods and protect those who need protection, shouldn’t the law recognize same-sex relationships? Because then, a lot of social damage would be avoided. Lives would literally be saved. Teens who discover they are gay could know that they actually can have a full life just like their straight friends. Thousands of people could live in happiness. They would, in a word, be free to live the same way the rest of us live, with the same options the rest of us have. Isn’t that what America is really supposed to be about? I mean, we used to think that black people shouldn’t have those options, and then we figured out that wasn’t true (well, most of us, anyway). Then, we figured out that women could have those options, too. So, it seems like we’re bound to figure this out with gay people eventually. It seems like we could just draw our lessons from the civil rights and women’s movements and save ourselves a lot of time, and save a lot of people a lot of pain. And maybe save some lives.
I’d just appreciate it if you’d give it some thought. Imagine what we could do with all the energy we’d have left over if we just stopped fighting about this and moved on to something truly productive.
Thank you, Reverend:
May I add another thought to your very well reasoned article?
What I find most disgusting is this:
All opponents’ so-called reasonings for denial of equality head straight down to genitalia.
Is it fear of loss of dominance?
Is it innate insecurities?
Is the “lure of the forbidden” for wont of a better term?
Any and all of them?
We should be better than that!
Let me try to put this into some everyday context:
I would hope that those attending a wedding ceremony (straight or gay) do not spend a thought on how the couple will consummate their now legal relationship when all the vows of Love, Loyalty and Commitment have been expressed.
I would hope that those congratulating new parents do not spend a thought on how this new life was brought into existence and concentrate instead upon wishing them and their offspring a future filled with Love, Loyalty and Commitment.
Finally, I would hope that this national dialogue will result in changes for the betterment of all.
There is a relatively simple solution to this: make governments neutral. All that states can issue, to any couple, is a civil union license- period. Leave marriage to religious institutions; if they want to welcome all types of couples, wonderful- if they chose to discriminate, that is up to them.
Make this retroactive…
Maybe a church only wants to extend marriage to those with purple hair… 😉
After much thought about what marriage is really all about, I’ve decided it isn’t about sex or having kids– it comes down to this–someone proclaiming to take legal responsibility for another. And we sure need more of that in our society.
I’m NOT going to let my wife read your comment WB.. we’re done with kids ( cept they keep showing up at the front door, dagnabit !) and not about to give her an excuse concerning that really fun pastime activity !!!
This is an example of what I consider to be a REAL Christian.
Actually, there IS a subtle but positive impact on the general public when same-sex marriage is made legal. When the law was passed here in NY about a year ago, there was an immediate impact on the economy as both local and out-of-state couples celebrated their marriages here. Businesses that provided services for weddings saw a definite uptick in their income, which was good for the overall economy of our state. NYC and Niagara Falls in particular had a surge in weddings.
What was a momentous personal occasion for the people involved also had a positive affect on the entire state as a whole. Win, win, I’d say!
Yes, it’s definitely been win-win here in NY. A couple I know is marrying upstate this summer (where many members of her family live). Years and years ago, when one member of this long-term couple was hospitalized with breast cancer, her partner (soon-to-be-spouse) was NOT allowed to visit her, until her blood family okayed it. Enough of all that.
I also knew men in the early days of AIDS who couldn’t visit their partners in hospital, got left out of inheritances (either because there wasn’t enough time to write a will or because so-called family fought tooth and nail to get their hands on the property, in two instances including expensive NYC real estate). I love the #1 post. Thanks for sharing it, Lacy Lady.
Some of those practical aspects of marriage that you mentioned are the things that are the most heartbreaking when couples are not permitted to get married. Also, the way that the law deals with children and their custody in those situations can destroy families and hurt children terribly.
How awful for a long-term couple when one is prohibited from visiting their partner in the hospital or must fight to keep the children they’ve raised or stay in the home they’ve lived in for years if their partner dies. Sometimes the biological family can intervene and fix those problems, but if the family has been estranged, there is just a whole lot of pain all around.
Thanks goodness that public acceptance of same-sex marriage is starting to slowly but surely overtake those against. As the younger generation begins to take over our government and legislation, these changes will become more frequent and more rapid.
Wonderful recipes, and I sure appreciate everyone’s thoughts on a subject (food) always near and dear to my heart. I would only add that before using it, canned salmon be put in a colander and rinsed. It seems to cut down on what I feel is excessive saltiness from the canning process. I like mixing it with egg, panko bread crumbs, and garlic, then made into patties, sauteed, and topped with hollandaise or bernaise sauce (the packaged mixes from Knorr work very well for this.) Bon appetit, and don’t worry about the bones!
Happy Mother’s Day to all!
We had First Fish this past week. We have a special education/cultural permit so that our fisher netted about a hundred Copper River red salmon and five Copper River king salmon. The first fish go to the Elders which I helped deliver and receive. Then we had a First Fish dinner for our tribal members.
The best way to prepare canned salmon is to mix it with cream cheese and onions and serve with crackers.
Another is in quiche or souffle. Have it mixed with rice and peas.
Most important: have some with a friend.
We start subsistence fishing on Monday and then the gillnet seasonn on Thursday. Happy fishing everyone!
A Eskimo elder from Nome told me that she’s thinking about sending family members down to Anchorage to dip up some salmon for their freezer. Thirty year restrictions on subsistence salmon harvest in the Nome area rivers is forcing people to get their salmon elsewhere. If they knew their rights as residents of Alaska, this lack of salmon wouldn’t be an issue for so long. Millions of dollars has been thrown in this lack of salmon black hole over the last ten years. It’s time to hold the mismanagers accountable.
Oh, please tell me smoked salmon travels well….. *hint*
How do I find that wonderul letter by the reverend? I am not finding it on facebook. I also don’t seem to be able to copy and paste from the mudflats site.
I don’t do “facebook”, but I do know this. Hope it helps.
The Rev. Matthew Dutton-Gillett
Rector, Trinity Church in Menlo Park, CA
An Episcopal Community
With a Seeking Soul, a Heart for Justice, and an Open Spirit
Forgot to give a web site. See there are several on google.
http://www.trinitymenlopark.org/site/leaderdisplay.asp?leader_id=180005684&sec_id=180008568
Oh, heavens! Now I’m craving Wild Alaskan Salmon!!!
Haven’t found any here yet…*sob*
Hugs from Asia!
This post is the perfect opportunity for me to ask some advice from the Alaskans and other salmon lovers here at the flats.
Despite the fact that my family had a boat and I grew up spending nearly every summer weekend fishing in the bays of Long Island, I am NOT a fish lover (much to my parent’s disappointment!) and usually avoid eating most kinds. The only time I really enjoyed salmon (out of my admittedly limited experience) was when I had it grilled at a salmon bake in Alaska. However, I am always willing to try something again and am open to new food experiences.
I recently bought a can of Alaskan salmon (and, yes, I made sure it was wild!) but now I have no idea what to do with it. Does anyone have suggestions for how to prepare it for someone who doesn’t much like to eat fish?
Any and all ideas gratefully accepted!
http://www.bristolbaysockeye.org/recipes/
the taco recipe works for all salmon species.break the fish up more than pic shows.
coho (silver ) salmon is less “fishy” tasting to many who are not big fish fans…which did you get?
also- the blackened salmon recipes out there are very good and you can break that up over a caesar salad and is waaaaayyyy yummy.
happy eating!!! :-0
oh I forgot-
is very easy to overcook salmon and since you have canned watch that verrrryyy carefully
have fun 🙂
I’m drooling on my iPad… A tangy BBQ sauce makes a great marinade- especially one from Kansas City (although I’m not visiting our relatives from that Whacko State any time soon).
The can says it’s sockeye.
Sockeye is yummy -esp in tacos or smoked
Next time look for coho if the sockeye seems a bit strong for you.
Don’t give up on salmon!!!
When you find the way you like it, you’ll be hooked forever.
And dream about it 🙂
And you’ll be supporting the real rill Alaskans!
I love to make Salmon patties, with fresh/frozen baby peas and mashed potatoes. Yum!
Same recipe as for tuna patties, i.e. chopped onion, celery, 1 or 2 eggs, bread crumbs, mix together, form patties, and fry in olive/butter oil til nicely browned, crunchy edge.
My 2 cents.
JaneE
Actually, upon re-reading, on the patties, you form them in the frying pan by dropping in a tablespoon or more to form croquettes(sp) kinda patties. They aren’t like forming hamburger, too loose with the egg mixture which you want.
And here is a site that just happens to have Salmon Croquettes!
http://www.myrecipes.com/recipe/salmon-croquettes-with-rmoulade-10000001011279/
mmm- that sounds good! have to try!
I make salmon patties a lot, but have never thought about using Tuna. MMMMM–I will have to try this. I use a little milk for the salmon patties.Also use crackers instead of bread crumbs.
1) open can
2) empty contents onto small plate
3) with plate in hand, bend over towards floor
4) in a high voice, say “Here, Kitty,Kitty,Kitty!”
5) place plate on floor and stand aside as feline stampedes to plate
I don’t eat cooked fish either ! My mom would bake the bejesus outta fish New England style.. and I would eat PB&J sandwiches for dinner that nite
Maybe your mother was related to my dearly departed- she was The Wretched Cook… Infamous for her broiled lamb patties wrapped in bacon, and her liver pancakes. Ack.
liver …Gaaacckkk!! another of her specials… a food that would dry up the Everglades in about 2 seconds…
I grew up eating overcooked spaghetti with Campbell’s tomato soup on it in place of pasta sauce or pork chops and london broil steaks cooked until no amount of chewing could break down the fibers. I would chew the meat until my jaw ached, stick it in my cheek like a little chipmunk and then sneak to the bathroom where the wad of gray protein would get flushed.
The meat was usually accompanied by mushy green beans and mashed potatoes made from flakes that were never measured – one night you could pour them from the spoon and the next you could use them to stucco a house.
I had a reputation for being a very picky eater when I was little. I later realized it was just self-preservation saving me from inedible food. No wonder I wore the same size school uniform from kindergarten until 6th grade!
When my father retired early he took over the cooking for us by unanimous consent. He was a great cook and never prepared a piece of meat that didn’t get gravy or vegetable that didn’t get cheese sauce. We all gained about 15 pounds that first year…but our tummies were delighted! 🙂
My ma was raised with a root cellar, no electricity or running water and only a wood cookstove to heat the cabin and cook on ( and melt the snow for bath water/laundry water and heat the flatirons to iron clothes ). When we were small, out of habit, she cooked everything to mush or shoe leather to make sure it was safe to eat.Bleah.
Dad was our savior on Sat mornings with his fresh strawberry pancakes,
When Ma discovered steamers and a wok- life got wonderful! Straight from the water fish and right out of the garden veggies- yum!
We still raided the smoker regularly- getting grounded was worth it 🙂
And raiding the strawberry patch and fresh peas was definitely worth it too.
You don’t eat “cooked fish”? Do you eat raw fish?
YUP!! I LOVE sushi.
I was going to mention fish cakes but it seems someone *cough cough JaneE* beat me to it. Sigh.
I make mine with mashed spuds, salmon, and whatever kinds of seasonings I feel like using at the time and whichever herbs I happen to have fresh. It’s hard to go wrong with em! 1/2 to 2/3 mashed spuds to 1/2 to 1/3 salmon, depending on your tastes and how much mashed potatoes you have left over from last night’s dinner.
They can be make croquette fashion as someone *cough cough JaneE* mentioned, and after breading it’s much better to bake them. Well, the baking part is just my opinion of course.
The bones in the canned stuff are edible. I like em, no one else in the house does except for The Cat. The canned salmon I get down in Oz has this stamped on the top: Wild Alaskan Salmon. Ahhhhh, bliss.
Get (or make) some fresh fettucine. Cook it up with a fresh alfredo sauce. Throw the drained canned salmon on it. Yum. Another idea, use it for sandwiches, just as you would tuna. Salmon patties are delicious with stewed tomates and cornbread on the side. I can up several cases of red salmon every year. I put it in quiche. I put it in omeletts. In ceaser salads. mix it like tuna salad and eat it with crackers. I put it together with fresh asparagus spears, just slightly steamed and mixed with a newberg sauce and fill crepes for a brunch treat.
Thanks everyone for the ideas, information, suggestions and recipes.
I have a whole pan full of chicken enchiladas to get me through most of this week so I will take the next few days to peruse your posts and let you know what I cook…and if I like it! 🙂
I’m curious to know what your can of sockeye cost down there. It’s nearly $11 here in the Norton Sound for 14.75 oz. A can of gold.
That salmon looks beautiful and yummy. I am in Cleveland with grandbaby Hannah! Both my kids have to work today and my daughter in law’s mother wasn’t able to do child care. Good for me. Hannah is an easy happy baby. We have had a nice morning and she is now taking a nap. I completely forgot how much paraphernalia a baby needs. LOL I gave Hannah a kiss from everyone of you.
Enjoy spoiling that grandbaby! 🙂
((hugs)) back at both of you. This Yia Yia will miss seeing Benjamin and his parents tomorrow, but maybe we can Skype. Here’s hoping he gives Daughter1 an easy day as a gift…
Yummy, salmon is good food. Springtime brings renewed hope to thousands of Western Alaska people – hoping that they will be blessed with a bountiful salmon season.
My hope too.
It would also sure help if we could all get some east winds to blow this ice out of the bays and areas up north so frieght and fuel can get to the villages.
I am not hearing great things on the Y&K rivers for Chinook but I am hoping the Chums will at least be bountiful!!
Of course for those of us looking for a good Sockeye or Pink harvest….good luck there too!!
We have the “let’s wait and see” management technique up here in the Norton Sound. Won’t know until the salmon gets here. Word is that the Fish and Game workers in Nome are predicting at least 50,000 reds into the Pilgrim River which drains into the Grantley Harbor where the village of Teller sits. It’s a good way to keep fishers off their backs – “wait and see” technique.
Fresh red salmon already?
Not quite yet but,getem when you can. Who knows what may come with next years run.
http://progressivealaska.blogspot.com/2012/05/fukushima-threatens-continuation-of.html
Seeing all that salmon is making me very hungry…I’m a long way off from any salmon (AZ), and I’m suffering from piscine withdrawal. 🙁
Piscine Withdrawal. So it has a name. I’ll have to remember that, because I’m suffering from it too, here in GA! Mountain trout just doesn’t cut it.
An Episcopalian priest writes on his facebook page.
Dear People of America,
Let’s admit it: this gay marriage business is difficult for many people. I, for one, understand that completely. I know that for many of you, the mere thought of a same-sex relationship is just, well, disgusting. I recognize that many of you believe that such relationships are contrary to the law of nature and the law of God. And I respect the fact that this is how you feel and what you believe. I respect and honor your right to feel that way and to hold those beliefs. I defend strongly your right to say what you think and how you feel — though, some of you are being kind of hateful, and I can’t get behind that. I also strongly defend your right to join churches that refuse to sanction same-sex relationships –although, some of them are being kind of hateful, too, and I can’t get behind that, either. So, I respect deeply your right to all these feelings and beliefs.
What I can’t understand, though, is this: if gay marriage is legalized, this has absolutely no practical impact on your life. Nothing will change for you. Your churches won’t be required to perform those marriages. You won’t be required to accept invitations to them. And it’s highly unlikely that your spouse will wake up and decide that he/she would rather be in a same-sex relationship. Your life will be exactly the same as it has always been. The only thing that would be different is that you would know that there are married gay people out there. But you could probably avoid thinking about that a lot of the time.
However, if gay marriage is not legal, then people do actually get hurt. Their lives are genuinely impacted. Lifelong partnerships can’t be recognized. People can be denied access to their loved ones in hospitals and other situations. And young people who discover themselves to be gay have to face life knowing that they can never have a life in the way that a straight person can. And some of them, facing that reality, kill themselves. Or twist themselves up in horrible ways trying to be someone they are not. I could go on, but the point is, denying legal legitimacy to same-sex relationships does actual harm to actual people.
So, if the function of law is to promote social goods and protect those who need protection, shouldn’t the law recognize same-sex relationships? Because then, a lot of social damage would be avoided. Lives would literally be saved. Teens who discover they are gay could know that they actually can have a full life just like their straight friends. Thousands of people could live in happiness. They would, in a word, be free to live the same way the rest of us live, with the same options the rest of us have. Isn’t that what America is really supposed to be about? I mean, we used to think that black people shouldn’t have those options, and then we figured out that wasn’t true (well, most of us, anyway). Then, we figured out that women could have those options, too. So, it seems like we’re bound to figure this out with gay people eventually. It seems like we could just draw our lessons from the civil rights and women’s movements and save ourselves a lot of time, and save a lot of people a lot of pain. And maybe save some lives.
I’d just appreciate it if you’d give it some thought. Imagine what we could do with all the energy we’d have left over if we just stopped fighting about this and moved on to something truly productive.
Peace,
Matthew
The Rev. Matthew Dutton-Gillett
Amen!
Amen, also. Too.
Amen and Allelujia ! What a thoughtful, compassionate person this Rev. Matthew is…….I might even consider attending church again if he was nearby.
Thank you, Reverend:
May I add another thought to your very well reasoned article?
What I find most disgusting is this:
All opponents’ so-called reasonings for denial of equality head straight down to genitalia.
Is it fear of loss of dominance?
Is it innate insecurities?
Is the “lure of the forbidden” for wont of a better term?
Any and all of them?
We should be better than that!
Let me try to put this into some everyday context:
I would hope that those attending a wedding ceremony (straight or gay) do not spend a thought on how the couple will consummate their now legal relationship when all the vows of Love, Loyalty and Commitment have been expressed.
I would hope that those congratulating new parents do not spend a thought on how this new life was brought into existence and concentrate instead upon wishing them and their offspring a future filled with Love, Loyalty and Commitment.
Finally, I would hope that this national dialogue will result in changes for the betterment of all.
Peace…
There is a relatively simple solution to this: make governments neutral. All that states can issue, to any couple, is a civil union license- period. Leave marriage to religious institutions; if they want to welcome all types of couples, wonderful- if they chose to discriminate, that is up to them.
Make this retroactive…
Maybe a church only wants to extend marriage to those with purple hair… 😉
That’s what I’ve been saying for years.
How beautifully put! Thank you for sharing this. There is some hope . . . .
After much thought about what marriage is really all about, I’ve decided it isn’t about sex or having kids– it comes down to this–someone proclaiming to take legal responsibility for another. And we sure need more of that in our society.
I’m NOT going to let my wife read your comment WB.. we’re done with kids ( cept they keep showing up at the front door, dagnabit !) and not about to give her an excuse concerning that really fun pastime activity !!!
This is an example of what I consider to be a REAL Christian.
Actually, there IS a subtle but positive impact on the general public when same-sex marriage is made legal. When the law was passed here in NY about a year ago, there was an immediate impact on the economy as both local and out-of-state couples celebrated their marriages here. Businesses that provided services for weddings saw a definite uptick in their income, which was good for the overall economy of our state. NYC and Niagara Falls in particular had a surge in weddings.
What was a momentous personal occasion for the people involved also had a positive affect on the entire state as a whole. Win, win, I’d say!
Yes, it’s definitely been win-win here in NY. A couple I know is marrying upstate this summer (where many members of her family live). Years and years ago, when one member of this long-term couple was hospitalized with breast cancer, her partner (soon-to-be-spouse) was NOT allowed to visit her, until her blood family okayed it. Enough of all that.
I also knew men in the early days of AIDS who couldn’t visit their partners in hospital, got left out of inheritances (either because there wasn’t enough time to write a will or because so-called family fought tooth and nail to get their hands on the property, in two instances including expensive NYC real estate). I love the #1 post. Thanks for sharing it, Lacy Lady.
Some of those practical aspects of marriage that you mentioned are the things that are the most heartbreaking when couples are not permitted to get married. Also, the way that the law deals with children and their custody in those situations can destroy families and hurt children terribly.
How awful for a long-term couple when one is prohibited from visiting their partner in the hospital or must fight to keep the children they’ve raised or stay in the home they’ve lived in for years if their partner dies. Sometimes the biological family can intervene and fix those problems, but if the family has been estranged, there is just a whole lot of pain all around.
Thanks goodness that public acceptance of same-sex marriage is starting to slowly but surely overtake those against. As the younger generation begins to take over our government and legislation, these changes will become more frequent and more rapid.
Thank you.
Excellent. I don’t think I’ve heard the reasons put so clearly.
Proud to be an Episcopalian! Right on,Father Matt!