Chicken & Waffles, & John Boehner?
STRANGE OMEN #1
I should have know something was afoot in the universe when this happened just down the road from my house, begging the question, “Why?”
Just to be clear, I have never actually seen a chicken cross the road, nevermind in this visually perfect allegorical fashion. I have never even seen a chicken in my neighborhood at all, though clearly there is now photographic evidence that they exist.
About a quarter mile and a few hairpin mountain road turns away from the chicken sighting, is something relatively new to Alaska – a fancy gated community. It is called Prominence Pointe. <—— (Note the ‘e.’) Those who have been here longer than the gated community call it “Prominence Pointy” while making an elongated face like an English Butler.
STRANGE OMEN #2
Nothing much happens at the Pointy. The school bus stops there. And in the winter, they turn off the fountain at the gate. And in the spring, they turn it on. So, imagine my surprise to see 8 or 10 people standing on either side of the road by the closed gate, waving flags and signs. As I drive past, the facial recognition software in my brain begins to MEEP!
Holding a white sign, with a nicely drawn red, white, and blue rhinoceros on it, and the words, “RINO AGENDA,” was none other than The Waffle Lady.
Someone else carried a sign that said, “STOP CONSPIRING WITH OBAMA”
Regular readers of the Mudflats will remember when candidates for State House and Senate answered questions posed by the Tea Party last summer. In the “lightning round” contestants who did not answer questions (even the most ambiguous or politically nuanced) immediately, were Eggo-shamed. The Waffle Lady would trot over to a telephone message spike which sat in front of each candidate, and jam a waffle on the spike of the offender. The more waffles you accumulated, the more of a “waffler” you were. And nobody wants a politician who gives a thoughtful answer. It’s yes or no. Pondering? Heh heh heh. We don’t think so.
There might have been several things I expected to see on my drive down the hill, but The Waffle Lady protesting outside the gate of Prominence Pointy was not one of them. So, I turned around and took this crappy picture.
Waffle Lady and a couple other die hard Tea Partiers protest John Boehner fundraiser in Anchorage
Then I turned around again, by the bank of mailboxes, and took this other crappy picture.
This sign said “End Crony Capitalism and K Street Lobbyist.” OK. I’ll buy that one.
The universe was serving up chicken and waffles – a portent of something strange.
THE EVENT THAT WAS PORTENDED
It turns out, that a certain John Boehner is in town. Yes, that one. The Speaker of the House. The Great Orange One. Our Fearless Weeper. You remember him, right? He stopped being an ineffective jackass long enough to lash out against Alaska’s lone Republican congressman Don Young back in March, when Don Young referred to the migrant tomato pickers on his father’s farm as “wetbacks.”
“Congressman Young’s remarks were offensive and beneath the dignity of the office he holds,” Boehner had said. “I don’t care why he said it — there’s no excuse and it warrants an immediate apology.” Ouch.
So, while in Alaska, what better way for the GOP leadership to distance itself from asshats like Don Young who seem hell bent on sabotaging the party’s already feeble attempt at latino outreach, than for the Speaker to headline the fundraiser with… Congressman Don Young! Yes, he really did.
The fundraiser in Prominence Pointy, headlined by the buddy team of Young and Boehner,collected money for the Boehner for Speaker joint fundraising committee (which benefits his own campaign PAC), the National Republican Congressional Committee and the Ohio Republican Party.
Apparently, sucking the limited political dollars from Alaskans and sending them to well-funded out-of-state campaigns in exchange for a photo op is not a purely Democratic bit of idiocy.
The invitation to the shindig suggested a contribution of between $500 and $1,000, with donors of $2,500 or more getting to attend a special photo reception. The maximum donation is $52,600.
Also on the list of co-hosts are the two Dan Sullivans – the Mayor of Anchorage, and the Bush appointee turned Alaska Attorney General turned Head of Department of Natural Resources. The latter Mr. Sullivan has had an interesting career trajectory, which many acknowledge as leading to the quest for higher political office. He had been expected to throw his hat in the ring for the United States Senate seat currently occupied by Mark Begich (D). But so far, he has not.
Mayor Dan Sullivan was rumored to have an interest in the seat also, and actually polled competitively against Begich several months ago, but tindications are tha he has “no interest” in running.
Which brings us to the interesting topic of those who were not on the list of co-hosts.
The first to enter the race against Begich was former Republican nominee for the Senate in 2010, and Tea Party darling, Joe Miller. We all know how John Boehner feels about Tea Party types, so it’s not surprising that Miller would be about as welcome as a skunk (or a donkey) at this garden party.
But, the second to declare was current Lt. Governor and moderate Mead Treadwell, who has been spearheading Alaska’s efforts to get out from under the regulatory yoke of the Voting Rights Act. Yes, in this state you can still do that, and be a flaming social conservative, and still somehow be considered a moderate.
The absence of Miller and Treadwell begs the speculation that the candidate who’ll get the backing from GOP leadership in DC has not yet jumped in the race. Like, for instance, Dan Sullivan the Commissioner of DNR. Things might get even more interesting, as another moderate candidate jumps into an already contentious primary race, splitting that vote, and leaving the Tea Party activist to scoop up the base.
Why did the chicken cross the road? That’s easy. SOH Boner,rethugs and their korporate masters conspired to keep wages for chickens artificially low so he or she couldn’t afford to hire a lobbyist to cross the road for him or her. Any savings realized by super low wages was returned to korporate amerika in the form of more tax cuts. As a part of the labor agreement,the chicken had to cross the road on his or her lunch break..
I was waffling yesterday about what to have for my holiday feast. I settled on a nice pasta with sweet italian sausage. Now I am hungry for chicken. Or maybe a nice seafood quiche. Oh, the humanity!
You all (as opposed to y’all, I don’t speak southern) have a safe and enjoyable holiday. And don’t forget to tear up a little while you are watching fireworks and parades and even some speechifying, because we do live in an awesome country and we should feel a little proud to call this our home.
Wow, AKM, you sure get to see some neat things driving into town…all I saw today was a ginormous new white sign with black lettering (hand painted) that said:
Bobs Barbershop
Hairstyle cut and
Artistic Art’s
I wonder if they serve waffles, also, too.
Speaking of which, is $arah ever invited to any of these AK shindigs? beth.
Also in town today Gaby Gifford and her husband, doing some work on gun control. Just read about it, didn’t see them.
Jeanne, what came first the chicken or the waffle? Did you spy the chicken first, and then see the waffle lady? If so, then that chicken is psychic =) How coincidental could that be? I’ve never seen a chicken cross the street.
It had to be the chicken, since one needs eggs for fluffy waffles… 😉
(Beware of chickens, they are downright mean- and their beaks are sharp… I know from experience)
I grew up on a farm, and have seen my share of chickens. I’ve never seen a psychic chiken. That’s probably because knew I was coming.
That is a bona fide chicken sure enuf. It is also a laying hen. I can tell by looking. Too bad you didn’t get a recorded conversation,she might have divulged all chicken secrets with a little hypnosis. You hold the bird in front of you and slowly circle your pointer finger in front of her eyes. After a minute or so she will sit right where you have her until your charismatic charm wears off. You can also spin her around and around and then tuck her head under her wing until the dizziness wears off,but that is too easy. Catch her and take her home,eggs are probably pretty expensive in Alaska and you don’t need a rooster to get her to lay them(unfertile). They won’t hatch without some imput(so to speak) from a rooster. When her egg laying days are through she will make dandy chicken and noodle soup with big globules of yellow fat swimming in the broth. Yummy. Boehn-apetit.
They’re not very smart, though. My sons and I once watched a coop-full of chickens caught in a sudden, short, summertime downpour…the birds had been pecking away over by the fence line and dust-bathing under the scrawny remnants of a once-mighty pecan tree.
As soon as the rain started, they all made a mad dash back to their coop — 50ish-yards away.
Only trouble is, they got wet doing so –on account of the rain, and all– so after about 45-yards of frantic scurry towards the coop, (nearly there!, nearly to the coop!), they each turned around and headed back to the lone, leafless tree.
And stood there, under the few remaining branch stubs and odd twigs, getting soaked.
Then they’d get ‘brave’ enough to again try to make it to the shelter of the coop …and they’d, once again, each do the exact same thing: turn around mere feet from shelter and head back to the dripping once-tree.
Again and again! they did this. And yet again!
We watched the two-dozen of them do this back-and-forth nonsense-running for nigh onto a quarter of an hour; hadn’t laughed that hard or that long, in a long, long time…and rarely, since. Good Golly, they were funny. And definitely not very smart. beth.
🙂
The Alaskan R’s aren’t near as funny, but “definitely not very smart ” .
Chickens are like squirrels when confronted with danger. A squirrel will sit and watch a road and all of a sudden it will race across the road in heavy traffic. When it reaches the other side it decides that just to be rilly safe it better go back where it came from. Indecisiveness in chickens and squirrels hurt only squirrels and chickens. They don’t know any better. Chicken hawks and squirrely rethuglicans deliberately hurt the poor,the elderly,Minorities and women because they THINK they know better.
I read somewhere that squirrels do that dash back and forth when they are in the street due to a ingrained defense mechanism to confuse aerial predators… doesn’t work too well in trying to confuse humans driving cars, ( having field tested it too many times with my own vehicles) . I think the same trait is what drives the Chicken Hawks and Rethuglicans… it’s just primordial instinct, because they don’t show any evidence of being able to actually THINK !!
Oh Ouch!!!!! Good one,Ben. Beth has it nailed,as well. When chickens act like chickens,they’re funny. When nutters act like chickens they’re worse than pathetic. Chickens and squirrels and the new age of enlightenment.
ya think.. MAYBE… 🙂 that if we put the rethugs in the street… they’d run back and forth like a squirrel ?????? I could get my BIG Dodge truck out there……. Just kidding, Mr. NSA …. hehehehehe
uuuhhhhmmmm Chicken GGGOOOODDD!! ……… taste just like snake!!… and frog legs ! hhhhmmm yum-yum!