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The Scallion Speaks – Murkowski Completes Sale of Senate Seat to Native Corps.

Many of you are undoubtedly fans of the site The Onion. In that great spirit of political satire, please welcome a contribution from Mudflatter Publius. We present: The Scallion

MURKOWSKI COMPLETES SALE OF SENATE SEAT TO NATIVE CORPORATIONS
A Commentary by Publius

Sen. Lisa Murkowski today announced the friendly takeover of her Senate seat by Alaska Native corporations is now officially complete. The takeover, launched shortly after her loss in the Republican primary to Joe Miller, was accomplished at the bargain price of $1.75 million.

The deal was financed through a Native corporation joint-venture known as Alaskans Standing Together. The new venture will be known as Lisa Murkowski, US Senator LLC.

“I’m SO pleased I am able to remain in business, thanks to the timely cash infusions provided by my Native corporate investors,” Murkowski said.

“We always thought we had a sound business model for our work together, but it was difficult to sustain under restrictive federal campaign financing laws,” Murkowski said. “Now, thanks to the Citizens United Supreme Court ruling, we could legally make the type of arrangement that allows each of us to maximize the economic potential of our relationship.”

Murkowski’s deal with the Native Corporations is expected to bring them billions of dollars in business with the federal government.

“We expect she will use her power in the Senate to protect our special no-bid preferences for obtaining federal government contracts,” said one Native official. “Many of our Native corporate investors are also seeking other highly profitable special favors from the federal government. Buying a controlling interest in Lisa Murkowski was an amazing opportunity for us.”

Billionaire investor Warren Buffet said he was astounded at the return the Native corporations will obtain on their investment. “They’re easily making more than 1000 to 1 return on their money,” he said. “I wish I could buy stock in investments like that.”

Asked if she sold herself too cheap, Murkowski vehemently disagreed. “The goal wasn’t to obtain the highest price for my services. Just the opposite – I wanted to show how I deliver maximum value for the dollar, for my Native patrons and other special interests in Alaska.”

Sealaska, the Native corporation in Southeast Alaska, was especially thrilled at owning a piece of Sen. Murkowski. Two of the companies’ top officials were intimately involved in the effort to rescue Murkowski.

“We’ve been trying to get Congress to let us grab more valuable lands from Alaska’s Tongass National Forest,” said a Sealaska official who did not want to be identified. “Lisa has been very helpful to us. And now that we own her, we are well-positioned to finally get the old-growth timber and other lucrative sites we need to keep our corporation afloat.”

Joe Miller, the man who fought long and hard to put Lisa Murkowski out of business, was unavailable for comment. His staff said he was investigating reports that black helicopters had been used to transport ballots in Alaska’s senate race. Miller’s campaign also said it was checking reports that blue-helmeted UN soldiers were present at some Alaska polling sites, wearing wristbands with Lisa Murkowski’s name on them.

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Comments
38 Responses to “The Scallion Speaks – Murkowski Completes Sale of Senate Seat to Native Corps.”
  1. jojobo1 says:

    Very very interesting discussion about the native peoples and the corporations.I know two wrongs do not make a right but don’t ya’ll think Miller was bought and paid for by DeMint and palin and the fundies????

  2. Polarbear says:

    I am still smiling at the insight demonstrated by the ANCSA corporations into Anglo culture, business, and power. This reminds me of those days of yore when State Senator Frank Ferguson and his assistant Mike Scott ran the State of Alaska budget for the bush caucus. If Frank Ferguson had been a US Senator, he would have been a national legend.

    I know many Mudflatters are upset about Alaskans Standing Together. I do not like the Citizens United decision, either. But secretly, in your heart of hearts, in these December days of long darkness, in the winter of our Democratic discontent, save a private little smile for that time when Alaska Natives zinged one past the pads when the goalie wasn’t looking. And hey, no Joe Miller, right? Sorry, I just cannot help it…

    • Alaska Pi says:

      nope… no lil smile
      I am appalled that people are accepting the effect Super PACs and/or 501(c)4s like Citizens United ( who do not have to report their donors ) are beginning to have on elections- as we have seen 1st hand- as long as it benefits the candidate of their choice.
      http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/09/27/AR2010092706500.html

      The dream of meaningful election reform just bit the big one and I’m supposed to applaud my Reg for helping it kick it to the curb?
      nope… can’t do that

    • All I Saw says:

      I think it is extremely dangerous to think that Alaskans Standing Together had anything to do with a Native grassroots effort.

      A very small group of very rich, powerful (and corrupt) people funded that SuperPAC. It’s not like they did a “listening tour” to all the villages and passed the collection plate around…

      It’s the same group of people that come up with all the largely useless, overblown and outdated ideas for developing Alaska. If it doesn’t benefit the Oil or Mining companies, don’t count on it getting funded in this State.

  3. CRFlats says:

    And now that there is a post up about SP book, this topic will fade into oblivion. I very much appreciate AKM and the civil discourse that the Mudpups bring to this blog, agree or not. But my interest in SP waned a long time ago. My dad had a saying that I have come to better understand, and sums up my feelings about SP: “Some people are just like seagulls; the more you feed them, the more they sh*t on you”.

    Onward!

  4. patience says:

    Are Native Corporations the only ones eligible for small business loans? Is grandma Yupik eligible for 8a small business loan? Not the company she is a shareholder of, but rather, she, as an individual. Are there any individual native 8a success stories? Why can’t grandma yupik go home with a fist full of cash toward her basket makingbead stringing business?! Why is ‘getting a job’ encouraged over entrepreneurship?

    • CRFlats says:

      http://www.sba.gov/aboutsba/sbaprograms/8abd/index.html

      This is the link to the SBA and the program. The program itself has been around for years. Prior to ANC’s, it was small firms owned by a single disadvantaged individual. And yes, there were abuses. Many of these individuals were no longer disadvantaged, but continued in the program. However, because they were so small, they did not prove to be a major problem to the “big boys” and no one paid it much attention. But the SBA is underfunded and understaffed. When Senator Ted created the exception for ANC’s, (The exception was based mostly on the fact that ANC’s represented thousands, not just a single individual owner), the SBA was overwhelmed and could not provide the oversight needed. This is a very important point that never gets brought out. It is tantamount to creating super highways, giving everyone a car, and no highway patrol. And the ANC’s proved to be highly successful at the work, drawing the attention and work from some huge gov’t contractors. It is my belief that the current furror over ANC’s has a lot more to do with the big contractors such as Haliburton, Boeing, Ratheon and others who make up 98% of all government contracting than it does any problems with ANC’s job performance. The SBA needs to simply do it’s job and be given the resources to perform it’s oversight functions. Not too dissimilar to many of the other problems facing our Federal system: The bankers, insurance, and oil companies operate with impunity and only after a crises of the magnitude we are now experiencing do we realize that our government regulatory agencies have been either completely gutted or so cozy with the industry as to be completely ineffective.

    • All I Saw says:

      From my position as a contractor in Alaska, I have seen no evidence that the regional corporations sponsor any kind of (truly) small business development with access to credit. Which is really weird. Usually in ANY kind of contracting there are funding partnerships – it can be a profitable venture. The lack of them on the ANC side signals corruption – and a “hoarding” mentality which aligns with how I’ve seen/heard treatment by larger ANCs of their non-Native subcontracting partners.

      I have heard that the regional corporations “strong arm” the smaller (and arguably more accountable) village corporations out of local contracts – even small ones. They step in and takeover rather than letting a smaller corp get their feet wet in a local contract.

      There seem to be some sponsorships of Native arts sales, but nothing in the contracting field (owned independently of the Native corps) by individual Natives that I have seen. There is a concerted effort to keep all the profitable ventures within a select group of ANC managers – and for some their “personal” non-ANC ventures…. (yeah, those are REALLY interesting to look at on the State database).

      Even today, for some strange reason ANC’s with known and obvious financial ties continuously put multiple subsidiaries on bid lists – creating the illusion that they are independent. They are not, a lot of the “consultants” and engineers flex in and out of all those companies and their contracts. Same players, different company name depending on the contract. Weird stuff, weirder still that it’s accepted in public contract bids at the local and state level.

  5. dowl says:

    Well, well, well. Interesting and apparently needed discussion re ANC. The pure politics involved based on institutional racism (America’s birth defect, h/t Condoleeza Rice), Manifest Destiny now botched up with American Exceptionalism is a much bigger challenge than most of us never heard of or had to civilly discuss outside of our own -centrisms.

    Am I correct in concluding that there is still much actual, overt racism in AK that fuels too many decisions that more negatively affect Native Alaskans and black people in AK? I have felt for a long time that Sarah’s ‘selling of Alaska’ is more about having more whites move to AK so that in the next 25 years, Natives and blacks have no real voice in the direction of AK that primarily benefit (AK First) only whites.

    Franklin Graham and his unholy posse along with who ever the silent partners are including the AIP, IMO, seem poised to literally, short of secession, actually rule AK as a safe haven for those who refuse to accept the racial diversity that the the USA has become–e.g. ‘take our country back’ idiocracy.

    Again, IMO, AK’s appeal to the Armageddon Now / Rapture Ready christianists seem to want to be free of anything that honors everyone, especially those not like them, as human, made in the image of God.

    Interesting discussion here. Thanks AKM for allowing this discussion among those ‘flatters who are curious about AK politics, world views, and more.

  6. North of the Range says:

    I don’t normally weigh in on Native matters, but AK Native corporations are a fact of life that affects all of us up here. Overall, my opinion is neutral, because there is a yin-yang tension between the good and bad impacts, and such a range of players.

    But the 8a arrangement is unfortunately an enormous temptation to outside powers, particularly defense contractors who have much to gain from it. For two examples, look into Afognak Native Corp’s subsidiary, Alutiiq LLC (Navy contracts) and Doyon’s subsidiary, Doyon Government Group (variety of armed forces contracts). You might be surprised to learn that one of the DGG Logistics Services lines of business is “Joint, Coalition, and Bilateral Exercise Planning and Execution Support” which consists of Scenario Development, Training Objectives Development and Refinement, ‘Road-to-War’ Timeline Development, and After Action Review Assistance & Assessment. http://www.doyon-dgs.com/logistics-services/dls-overview.html

    Another subsidiary, Doyon Utilities, won a contract a few years ago to run the utilities on several AK military installations. Those jobs had formerly been federal union positions held in many cases by Vietnam veterans. The government’s decision to go private was at least partly based on a desire in some management quarters to weaken the union. This was accomplished. DU holds a 50-year contract for this work and the shop is now non-union. Workers could stay on, but pay and benefits were cut.

    This is not a criticism of the Native corps as a group, but of the 8a system. As I mentioned earlier, there are good things that even out the scale. But most of us don’t know about these arrangements with the Shadow Pentagon power players, and if the 8a debate shines some light on this, I’d like to see Congress have that debate. I’d like to see the emphasis stay on the wheeler-dealers, though, and not descend into general criticism of the corps, but on a national level the nuances are sure to be lost. Sigh.

  7. Simple Mind says:

    The discussions above lead to an incredibly difficult ethical problem that I’m not sure is capable of solution. Essentially, is it wrong for someone to criticize a Native Corporation for buying a Senator when non-Native corporations have been doing it for years (and continue to do it). Think of a kid selling lemonade at a little stand on his street. There’s a cop car down the street. An old white guy comes up, slugs the kid and takes some of his money. The cop does nothing. A second white guy comes up, slugs the kid, and takes some more of the kid’s money. The cop does nothing. Then a Native American walks up, slugs the kid and takes some money. The cop arrests the Native American. Who is wrong and why? What if the Native American was really poor and needed some money for food? What if the reason the Native American was poor is because the white guys robbed him before they robbed the kid? What if the Native American was homeless because the kid’s family had taken his land? Admittedly, this is a flawed analogy, but it illustrates that the ethical questions aren’t easy and begin to slip as you add more facts to the situation. What AST did in this last election is not right, but should they defer when they have real, honest grievances that are not otherwise being addressed? Suddenly discovering this problem because the actor is Native is also not right, but should people withhold criticism because the actor is Native? The answers, if there are any, are not easy. What is really gratifying to me, however, is the fact that people on this site are politely and respectfully discussing this difficult issue. Do you think you’d see this kind of discussion on Palin’s Facebook or C4P?

  8. Alaska Pi says:

    Whoa!!!
    Whole lot of over-generalizing going on here!!

    This post made me chuckle- merely because it made me chuckle…

    I’ve been so angry that my Regional Corp was one of the contributors to AST

    http://www.thenewstribune.com/2010/12/08/1457825/list-of-contributors-to-alaskans.html

    that I could spit. I have yet to be able to write a letter to the board saying such because I can’t seem to get all the swear words out of the text…
    I am appalled that my Reg would be part of something allowable by the unconscionable Supreme Court Citizens United ruling.
    Because it is allowed does not make it ethical nor acceptable. I no more accept this kind of reasoning from my Reg than I accept such a thing from anyone else.
    Shame on my Reg!!!!!
    Shame on GCI!!!! Looking to change my provider there…
    Shame on all of them!!!

    Shame on Ms Murkowski for accepting this “stand-alone” help.

    Fooey on over generalizations about Native Corps- there are so many village, Regional, etc that not making distinctions just muddies already muddy waters…

  9. All I Saw says:

    The Native Corporations are not managed by Native people. It’s a bunch of middle aged white guys and the same cast of characters that has been behind every stupid boondoggle project the State of Alaska has ever undertaken. Can anyone who lives in Alaska take a train to the Anchorage Airport without buying a cruise ship ticket? No, they can’t.

    They abused the federal programs that were meant to enrich (actual) Alaska Natives for their own personal financial gain and will jump ship when the full scale of their scam is revealed.

    Ask around in Fairbanks right now, what kind of business partners have the Native Corporations been with the enormous federal spending at the bases (including Ft. Greely Missile Defense base) this past year or so?

    I’ve heard they leave a large wake of unpaid bills and burned bridges. That’s because the people getting rich off the contracts have no intention of sticking around for the long haul – they have no interest in forming positive reciprocal relationships with local Alaskan businesses (regardless of racial demography). The white middle managers will get theirs and get out… leaving Native shareholders to clean up the public relations and financial mess. Same song, different verse.

    Ask the National Black Chamber of Commerce how they felt when the Alaska Native Corps swooped in and gobbled up 98% of minority set-aside programs post Katrina?

    http://katrina.house.gov/hearings/12_06_05/alford_120605.pdf

    • I See Villages From My House says:

      Yeah, cause Fairbanks has always been the great bastion of acceptance of the First Peoples.

      And keep in mind, the Black businesses were/are predominantly private, family owned affairs with generations of connections and infrastructure unheard of in Native communities. They only have their own to care for, not the entire Black American demographic.

      And that is not to say their businesses should have suffered. There does need to be restructuring and oversight. Who in the world supports no-bid contracts with public monies?

      But the way they go about attacking the 8(a) program just because Natives got involved was brutal and mean.

      • All I Saw says:

        They aren’t Natives who are getting rich or even running these contracts. Ask around – do you know any Alaska Native project managers?

        Why is that? Because it’s a key position with access to knowledge about how their contracts are administered and it tends to be highly paid – over 6-figures. These are all white guys – because the Native Corps know full well that when they direct their managers to commit contract fraud or leave a wake of unpaid bills an Alaska Native won’t be likely to go along with it. The white guys do dirty deeds without any recourse.

        I’m not saying one is better than the other – I’m saying the Alaska Native Corporations are front companies for middle aged white guys with MBA’s who couldn’t succeed without exploiting the ANC advantage.

        Fairbanks businesses who provide real work and supplies to Alaska Native Corporations deserve to be paid also – it does nothing to bridge the divide to just call them all “racist” because they want ethical contracting partners. Or do you think it’s “payback” to stiff local businesses in the name of “advancing” Alaska Native economic development? Is that what they preach at the shareholder meetings?

        The real racists are Ted Stevens, Don Young and Lisa Murkowski (and Mark Begich too) who knowingly perpetuate the ANC myth that these contract profits flow to Alaska Natives. They know they don’t, because the lobbyists and “consultants” they spend their time with aren’t Native.

        What I’m saying is that this set up, the Alaska Native Corporations and their contracting preferences were never designed to provide real and lasting benefit for Alaska Natives – they were set up to enrich a select group of non-Natives who have decades long business ties to Stevens and Murkowski(s).

        $29 billion and 9 years later – have you seen that level of sustainable economic development or is it one flash-in-the-pan project after another?

        What Ted Stevens did to the fisheries he is (still) doing to Alaska contracting now. My guess is not a single soul who can withstand an Alaskan winter will benefit – all the folks who make the big bucks on this sort of thing only visit Alaska for a fishing derby or two every year. But I bet they buy a cruise ship ticket also and get to ride that ghost train to Ted’s tomb of an airport.

      • All I Saw says:

        By the way, how much are your Alaska Native Corporation shares worth?

        Don’t know? That’s on purpose too. It’s not a “real” share in a “real” company if you can’t buy, sell or trade the shares – why does every other shareholder in the United States economy have those rights and Alaska Natives don’t?

        The true assets of the regional corporations are being leveraged for risky investments – one after another – by the white managers. By the time someone shines a light on the balance sheets of these corporations there won’t be anything left to recover.

        Also, there was a class action court case as a result of Katrina where an Alaska Native Corporation only had white managers who hired black laborers in Louisiana but referred to them as “boy” and well you know what else… nice huh?

        You really should hear how the white managers refer to Natives (shareholders and not) in the flagship offices of these Alaska Native Corporations.

  10. Bretta says:

    Well done. I know it’s satire but it’s also true. The very richest kind. Good to the last drop.

  11. sam hall says:

    There is no doubt..to big to fail..corporations..huge banks..and other large business .Wall St.
    use their power in political circles…so to complain about the Native Corporations seems then
    an unfair balance..giving their history as the First Native Alaskans.. it also seems the native corporations are quick to fire any person that brings any sort of scandal to them..

  12. sam hall says:

    correction..wrong…typed to fast…sorry in last comme
    I see no problem with the Native Corporations using their power..politically…this area has to have
    a workable large base to be able to bring that particular area up to the standards of living and
    working that are in these times. I believe McAdams said the same thing..There simply is no place
    in Alaska where the number of people in the bush area yet could move to and be able to afford the
    situations there..as to rent..buy a home..find enough jobs. Very likely when enough opportunity
    for a good education..decent up to date living conditions and of first importance..good jobs..
    one will see there will be less acholism ..less sucide..some crime in these areas as well.
    The corporations sticking together to insure this can happen..will be a large part of this sucess.

  13. CRFlats says:

    I love satire. But it works best when it has it’s facts straight. Alaskans Standing Together also included a huge hunk of cash from other non-Native Alaskan businesses, including the state’s leading non-Native wealthy opponent of the Pebble Mine. Again, Alaska politics defies labels and simple satire. And it troubles me that Native corps are singled out as somehow doing something wrong simply because they do something well. The corps are Alaskan owned and bring a great deal of economic wealth to the State. The corps all undergo intense scrutiny by their annual audits, the public at large, and not least, by any means, their own shareholders who vote each year for the boards who run the corps. ANCSA (Alaska Native Claims Settlement Act) delt the cards, and the corps have learned to play the game; because they must. To protect the lands that otherwise could be lost to creditors, to preserve for future generations what they fought to have returned to them (not “grabbed” as the author states- returned!) and to do the best possible job to return meaningful benefits to the shareholders. Do we always succeed? No, but we are still here after 40 years of assault, and this latest round is nothing new. As a disclaimer, I sit on a village board (volunteer), am a self professed bleeding heart liberal, self employed (all my life) frugal Alaskan businessperson, and generally enjoy the discourse on Mudflats. I believe the Citizens United SCOTUS ruling to be a direct assault on our democracy, and think that instead of attacking the people who lawfully use this law, we should be working to remove the ruling. Alaska Native Corps are not the enemy. It’s important to know who is.

    • I See Villages From My House says:

      Thank you to CRFlats and other mudpups that have weighed in on the magnified concentration on Native entities unprecedented ability to play with the big boys. The State may only be 50 years old, but outside interests have been controlling our destiny, from Norwegian whalers, to Russian fur traders, to Moravian Missionaries and the governing Catholic Church sanctioned by the government (via BIA) and not necessarily for our benefit, for hundreds of years.

      I’m not one to call anyone criticizing any Native program racist, I don’t believe that for a minute, just like anyone with a salient criticism of Sarah Palin doesn’t deserve to be minimized or labeled as a H8r or that any and all ethics complaints were ‘frivolous.’

      People’s concerns about a Corporate Native culture has justifiable issues, but there is also a large contingent that are completely unfair in holding us up to higher standards that no other free market component faces.

      There is a large anti-native contingent in the Sealaska affair, just as their are in Pebble Mine, Donlin Creek, ANWR or any extraction effort. You can have personal and passionate concerns on environmental and extraction matters anyway, but sometimes it is exacerbated when in the hands of a minority group.

      I fully support my native neighbor CRFlats excellent analysis of this piece, she is refudiating this snark with aplomb.

      I still love this community, and would never call on AKM to digress from such guest contributions. Not every post would be popular and not every member of the community will be supportive. I also too hold the Mudpup community to a higher standard – of fairness and perspective. Make an effort to learn more about (cough, ahem, Todd’s people) before you write them off as soulless corporate hacks.

      Quyana.

      • I See Villages,

        One of the most prescient comments I’ve read at this blog. My comment will show up between 2 and 30 hours from when I have posted it.

    • Moose Pucky says:

      Scott McAdams was the only Senate candidate who opposed Pebble. He also supports and respects Native interests and concerns. He planned to work to return sacred lands, reduce high energy costs in rural areas, and much more. He would have been an effective Senator for the needs of most Alaskans.

      I think the Onion got this one right gobsmack on. Lisa Murkowski, US Senator, LLC, indeed. She who unites with her party for millionaires and billionaires, she who opposes raising liability for catastrophic oil spills, she who prefers the EPA not regulate clean air or the climate on which our health and food sources depend.

  14. kiksadi50 says:

    If this sounds defensive,it’s because it is.Gosh,those pesky ol’ Nat.Ak.Corp.attempting to retrieve a smidgen of the land,sovereign rights,respect & visibilty that was taken away from them when western ‘civilization’ (ha!) stole their land,reduced them to a non-human entity & wouldn’t even allow them to vote,use their language,raise their children or practice their traditional way of life.Assimilation was never an option for Ak. Nat., it was forced upon them & consequently thousands of people died,became dependent on alcohol, committed suicide, & experienced deep,soul shattering shame & trauma (physical,sexual,emotional & spiritual assault which has resulted in the natives experiencing intergenerational,unresolved,complicated grief & trauma, & detroyed the very fabric,in many cases,of their culture.Without traditional Tribal roles many individuals lost a sense of who they were,experienced terrible shame,& felt that they could no longer hold their heads up to their children, or to their clans.
    Corporations are a white mans concept,forced upon the Natives in the 70’s in a weak attempt to ‘pay’ them off for everything that has been taken away from them.The Fed.& State Govs.have not lived up to the Ak. Nat. Claims Settlement Act of the 1970s.Murkowski may have her own agenda. Regardless, Miller never mentioned Native rights & never will.Neither did palin.At least murkowski is talking about it, & I know many Tribal members who are grateful to her.I read the Onion,& think it is an important voice,& often very funny.But this is an issue,that isn’t funny.It is tragic.

    • sam hall says:

      I agree wutg with comment person kiksadi50 on this subject. Mller never mentioned Native rights
      neither did Palin..even when there was some national publicity about the particular dire straights
      of a particular time with fuel and food items to simply survive at that time were extremely low.
      Palin ignored their cry for help until the media publicity of this received much attention..then she
      fly to a bush place in the F.Graham train..bouht cookies along etc..and snubbed the very bush
      person who wrote the letter to the Tundra Drums that made this extreme situation to the attention
      of the rest of the media in Alaska..and beyond in some areas. I am sure McAdams if politically
      elected would be a staunch person for the bush area as well..his words have said so.. the
      Native Corporations most likely kneww that at that time Lisa had more clout with her then
      position on a particular commission to then be able to help their situation.

      • Writing from Alaska says:

        Just FYI, if I recall correctly, in the election for gov when Sarah was elected, Todd’s home community was NOT one of the places she carried. Says something when a Native community does not support a family member.

      • bubbles says:

        Really. i didn’t know that. wow. that is quite an indictment.

    • Bretta says:

      I’m all for the Native Alaskans to be gettin’ some back.

      I’m also delighted that AST was able to kick JoeMilLiar’s teeth in with AFN money because I think he is racist and sexist as well as an unethical, fraudulent, admitted liar and cheat and forger.

      There should be grounds enough in all that for disciplinary action by the Alaska Bar Association.

    • Thank you for being a decent person…to think of others..

  15. beth says:

    I’d a thought the company they’d (joint-venture known as Alaskans Standing Together — AST) formed with Lisa would’ve had a name a bit more snazzy than “Lisa Murkowski, US Senator LLC.” Something more along the lines of: Solicitation Had Its Taker — Alaskan’s Senate Seat Expertly Sold. beth.

    • Bretta says:

      Every time I would hear the ad, “Alaskans Standing Together” my head would add, “Against Rape.” STAR is the acronym that has been in use for well over 20 years here (Standing Together Against Rape).

      I’m sure that’s exactly the effect Murkowski et al were going for – to imply that we would be raped by the tea-buggers & MilLiar.

      • Zyxomma says:

        Back in 1970, here in NYC there was a street performance group called STAR: Street Transvestites for American Revolution. They were pretty rad, and awfully funny.

  16. Zyxomma says:

    I’m not a fan of the Onion (too juvenile for my jaded old palate), but this was very well stated. Lease-A will no doubt hold up her end of the bargain.

    • I kind of lost my sense of fun with The Onion when they did their spoof of Harry Potter turning kids to witchcraft and Satan and it was spread all around via email and all sorts of proposed bans of the books. Sometimes satire is too hard to discern when it is written.

  17. EyeOnAlaska says:

    The sad thing is; this might not be satirical.