Mom 1925-2011
Looks like I’ll be taking a little more time off than I thought, Mudflatters. I got the news last night that my mom passed away, so I’ll be tending to family matters until next week. Others will pop on and leave you things to read and discuss.
I debated whether to post what I’d written today. It has nothing to do with politics, although my mom was a dyed-in-the-wool Democrat and progressive. There was no rebelling on my part. The apple didn’t fall far from the tree. Ultimately, I decided I would – a farewell to my mom.
I am the youngest of five children, the next in line is 13 years older than me. I asked at a certain age, if I was an accident. “Oh, you were not an accident,” she admonished me. “You were a surprise.” And as a result of that little surprise party, I had my parents mostly to myself growing up. Mom was a stay at home full-time mom during my younger years. One of my earliest memories of our time together in the daytime house was when she taught me to read. She’d write letter combinations on a piece of yellow paper ___AT. And we’d fill in all the combinations we could think of – mat, bat, cat, fat, rat, sat… I loved the game so much that I insisted we play it even in the car, and so often that I was reading by the time I was three. That was one of the best gifts I’ve ever gotten, but I never thought about it specifically until now.
I remembered too, one Halloween – I think it was in fourth grade – and my mom asked me what I wanted to be. I was reading a series of books and in one of the books was a mythical creature named Gurgi. “I wish I could be Gurgi, Mom…” I fished. “What’s a Gurgi?” she asked. He was a big, white, monstrous thing who liked to eat. My mom had never read the book. We didn’t even have a picture to use as a guide, but out came the sewing machine, and an old white sheet, and some white yarn. A giant suit was made, and we stuffed me full of crumpled up newspapers so I’d be suitably fat. An old pair of white gloves were sacrificed and black claws were Sharpied on the fingertips. Black eyeliner for a nose, a big pair of Dad’s white socks pulled over my sneakers, and a wig made of white yarn. Nobody at any of the houses where I Trick-or-Treated knew what the hell I was, but I did. It was the best Halloween ever – the Gurgi of my imagination wandering the streets among the run-of-the-mill vampires and goblins.
The year before Gurgi, I had been Elizabeth Taylor and sent mom into a fury of digging through boxes in the attic on a hunt for a dark wig, a white stole, rhinestone jewelry and movie star sunglasses from the 1950s that she still had in a drawer somewhere. She had range as a costumer.
My mom was often my harshest critic, but she was also my biggest fan. She expected a lot, and she led by example.
She went back to college when I was 10. I was so impressed. She wanted to become a lab technician, and eventually upgraded her goal to becoming a nurse. I watched her doing homework at night at a big wooden desk in the bedroom. She had to take an art appreciation class once, and was required to draw. For her color spectrum, she drew with a ruler a perfect fan, each slat a color of the rainbow. Another time when the assignment was to show emotional range, she drew a carton of eggs, each egg with a different facial expression – some climbing out of the carton on little stick legs – one singing, one sleeping, one so angry he looked like he’d crack his little shell. She worried that they wouldn’t be good enough, or that her teacher would think they were silly. She got an A.
I’d quiz her sometimes on different subjects. I’d listen to all the lectures on cassettes she’d taped from her classes, and I’d make her flash cards and quizzes about endocrinology, or the vocabulary of cell structure, or symptoms of diseases. She got As in those classes too. And I got the added perk of learning how to use a microscope, a stethoscope and a sphygmomanometer. The first time she made the Dean’s list my Dad and I were so proud. He bought a bottle of Asti Spumante and I was allowed a sip to toast her achievement. She was my hero. And when she asked me if I knew what I got wrong when I brought home a test with a 98% at the top – despite my annoyance, I knew that she wasn’t expecting any more from me than she was from herself.
She had one more year of nursing school to go when her mother had a stroke. She left school and used what she had learned about nursing to care for her. She never went back to school. My grandmother grew worse in immeasurably small increments, day by day, for more than a decade. When she had to be put into a nursing home, my mother went every day. Every single day, 4-5 hours a day, year after year.
Her caregiving extended beyond the human realm. There’s a quote from Gandhi that says “the greatness of a society and its moral progress can be judged by the way it treats its animals.” By that measure my mother was in herself a Great Society.
She doted on our family pets more than almost anything, and her love for lesser creatures (a term she would have debated I’m sure) extended to the entire animal kingdom. Despite horrible allergies, she’d feed stray cats. Our yard was full of birdfeeders. She bought whole peanuts by the bag, and tossed them out to the blue jays and grey squirrels. When the squirrels got hungry, or if she was late with her daily gifts, they’d climb up onto the porch rail and leap onto the window screen above the kitchen sink, gripping with little nails, splayed out on the screen, head cocked, peering in with a glassy black eye. And she’d say, “Oh, for goodness sakes!” and chuckle and remark which squirrel it was – they all had names.
I remember walking home one day from the bus stop about a half mile down the road. Bouncing along on the other side of the street across lawns and driveways was one of those big fat squirrels. I watched its progress as it journeyed in tandem with me, and as we got closer and closer to the house, I realized we were both going to the same place, and we’d both have a snack waiting when we got there.
When she could no longer care for pets, and discovered her new residence wouldn’t allow bird feeding, her caretaker programming was not to be denied. About a year ago, she told me a story when we were on the phone. “I’ve noticed something in the bathroom,” she said. “There’s a tiny hole in the sub base and you’ll never guess what’s in there.” I asked what it was. “Ants. Little tiny black ones. And you’ll laugh at me, but every time I go in there I watch them go in and out. I’ve counted five. I don’t know what they eat, but they picked a bad place for a house.” I agreed, and after a long pause, she fessed up like she was the kid and I was the mom. “I’ve been giving them some Pepperidge Farm cookie crumbs.” It didn’t really surprise me.
She was trying at the time to sell the house and told me somberly the next time we talked, “I’m afraid we’re going to have to get rid of the ants. The realtor is worried nobody will buy the house if they’re here. There’s more of them than there used to be.” We talked the day before the inevitable ant genocide was to happen. “I know it has to be done,” she sighed. “But at least I’m going to give them a special last dinner. I know you’re the only one who doesn’t think I’m crazy.” I didn’t think she was crazy. How can you not be impressed with an empathetic nature so huge it embraces even the ant kingdom in its wide arms? If we were all that crazy, with hearts that big, the world would be a better place.
I watched her heart break during some dark times, and I watched her heart bloom when my dad would stand in the middle of the kitchen and proclaim in a very official tone to me, “I have something to say.” Our eyes turned to him. “I am in love with your mother. And there is nothing you can do about it.” And 19-year old me, the audience of one, would roll my eyes, and mom would giggle and keep chopping onions.
Her mother made it to 98, and somehow I expected her to make it at least that long. That doesn’t make any sense, but the mind tells itself things like that sometimes. I know that her sudden end would have suited her if she’d had a choice in the matter. A decade of watching her own mother slowly fade like a long sad sunset made her know that’s not the way she wanted to go. “My mother in law had the right idea,” she said of my other Grandmother who died suddenly and with her faculties still in place.
It is strange not having a mother. The woman who taught me how to tie my shoes, and how to make a white sauce, and how to use a maxi pad, and how to have empathy for even the unlikeliest of creatures. The woman who was one of my Girl Scout leaders, showing us how to plant marigolds, and guiding Troop 714 successfully through the requirements to earn the Pet Badge..
You’d have to know her to appreciate this little daydream, but if I had to make up a fairy tale end for my mom, I picture her sitting at the beach on a 70 degree day with low relative humidity, no mosquitoes, eating a bowl of homemade clam chowder, and corn on the cob that wasn’t too mealy, and peaches dead ripe. There might be a never ending bowl of black jelly beans on the table. And she’d be with Dad, and her mother, and all her four-legged children that predeceased her – Spuddy Jinx and Skippy Peter, and Cleo and Fifi and Pepper who’d be running on the beach and not rolling in dead eels. And Luciano Pavarotti would live next door in the Myzak’s old house and practice arias all day on the deck. He’d occasionally have Joan Sutherland over for a barbecue.
In some ways she lived a life of regret. She never became an opera singer as she’d dreamed as a child. She never graduated from college. She never became a nurse, or a lab technician. But a caregiver she was, and a darn good teacher. She may never have gotten a paycheck for it, but she sure earned one. And even though at times she could be hard on her fellow adults, she gave endlessly to those who couldn’t do for themselves – her ailing mother, her children, her animals everywhere. She never failed the ones who really needed her.
I got to say I love you to her, just a few hours before she passed away for which I am so grateful. But I didn’t say thank you. So thanks, Mom for teaching me to read, for indulging your quirky daughter who wanted to be everything from Elizabeth Taylor to Gurgi, for your care when I needed it, and most of all for teaching me how to love. Your heart may have failed you, but it never failed me.
I’m sad for your loss, yet glad that you have such beautiful memories to sustain you in your grieving.
What a beautiful tribute to your Mom! Your piece so moved me that I’ve printed it and placed it in my “memorial box” (the box where I keep obituaries of family and friends).
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
*Tears in eyes* Oh AKM….what a beautiful memorial for your mom… I have an elderly mother as well, and hope I can be as strong when I finally lose her to “the great garden in the sky”. Mothers really are the best teachers in the world, arent they?
<3
Thank you. And thank you, too, for being there for all of us! Your mother must have been/be pleased and proud. Go well.
I am so very, very sorry to hear of your loss. I, too, lost my mother this year and it has been…difficult. Big hugs, and hang on to your loved ones for support, because it does help.
I am also sorry to hear of your loss. My mother is extremely important to me and the day she passes on is one that I can barely consider. Peace.
When people seem surprised to learn that I am a Democrat, the first two words out of my mouth are, “My Mother…”, so I smiled when I read that your mom passed her Progressive politics on to you, too.
I am so sorry for your loss.
This beautiful story of love was just what I needed to read today. Thank you so much.
Like everyone else here I am now in love with your mother. In reading this I feel like I’ve watched a whole movie of this very fascinating woman. She was a magical soul full of extreme thoughtfulness and piercing intelligence. How fortunate to have basked in her light. May I also add we can see better how you became you. Shine on, love.
You have my heartfelt sympathies. Thanks for sharing your beautiful tribute.
AKM, thank you for writing this. It made me cry, to be honest. It was a beautiful tribute to an obviously beautiful person. I especially loved the story about your Gurgi costume and how your mother took care of the ants! She may not have gotten her nursing degree, but she was a nurse anyway. Like you said, a born caretaker. I am also inspired to teach my toddler son how to read using the little game you and your Mom did together. Thanks for sharing these wonderful memories and lovely pictures.
Condolences on your loss, Jeanne. She sounds like a splendid person.
A sad way to start 2011 🙁
Beautiful tribune to your mother! Deepest sympathies for your loss.
Wishing you my deepest sympathies, it is so difficult to lose a parent, especially if you have been close.
I still miss my parents.
Wonderful tribute, and my condolences.
I lost my mom more than seven years ago, and I still feel her love. Here’s what I wrote on the day she died, and the day after: http://doc-weblogs.com/2003/08/20 http://doc-weblogs.com/2003/08/21 .
She met my father in Alaska in the early ’40s. And I met you when you came to the Berkman Center in Cambridge a year or two ago. I don’t need to tell you, but keep up the great work!
Thank you for sharing your mom and yourself with us in this post. What a great mom. God bless her and you.
I am so sorry for your loss and wish you and your family much love and peace.
I’m so sorry to hear about your mother, Jeanne. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
And I also wanted to say that the tribute to your mother brought tears to my eyes. I’m glad that you gave us a chance to know what a caring soul your mother was and still is in spirit.
AKM, I am sorry for your loss. My dad just died on December 23rd, so I know what you’re going through. It leaves you feeling very bereft and vulnerable knowing that one of the two people on earth who love you no matter what–your mom and your dad–are gone.
Here is a poem I like:
Dirge without Music (Edna St. Vincent Millay)
I am not resigned to the shutting away of loving hearts in the hard ground.
So it is, and so it will be, for so it has been, time out of mind:
Into the darkness they go, the wise and the lovely. Crowned
With lilies and with laurel they go; but I am not resigned.
Lovers and thinkers, into the earth with you.
Be one with the dull, the indiscriminate dust.
A fragment of what you felt, of what you knew,
A formula, a phrase remains, — but the best is lost.
The answers quick & keen, the honest look, the laughter, the love,
They are gone. They have gone to feed the roses. Elegant and curled
Is the blossom. Fragrant is the blossom. I know. But I do not approve.
More precious was the light in your eyes than all the roses in the world.
Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave
Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind;
Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave.
I know. But I do not approve. And I am not resigned.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
AKM- Thanking you for sharing your beautiful words, I’m having a terrible time trying to type through my tears… I send heartfelt love and warmth to you and yours.
Beezer
I’m so sorry. Please accept a long distance hug.
My thoughts and prayers to you and your family. Celebrate her life and this article has helped you do that. Now instead of phone calls you can talk to her wherever you go, walking, hiking, in the tub. It is not as good but it sure does help.
Thank you so much for sharing your Mom with us. I love that what was special to you were the things she made for you and the little word games she played. Those of us with young children or grandchildren need to remember how special that one on one time is. In the long run it counts more than the trips to Disney or the mall.
So sorry for your loss. What a wonderful post….no words!
We never stop being in relationship with the ones we love, even though the way we connect may change. Blessings to you as you make your way through this big change in your life.
What a beautiful tribute to your mother. I’m amazed at how magical mothers can be, especially at the most unexpected times.
I’m sending hugs your way.
My condolences Jeanne as you go to share memories and laughter with your family. My mom is 92 and her mind has been gone for a few years now.
A wonderful, sweet woman. You were blessed. Remember only the good times and try to have a laugh. BTW, I fully understand your statement of having felt like you were an only child. I too was the youngest child and my sister is 13 years older than me. In so many ways, she was like a second “mom” to me. But don’t tell her that.
My thoughts and prayers.
– Kevin
What a unique and wonderful lady. I know that you will miss her in so many ways. Thank you for sharing her life with us.
You have my deepest sympathies. I lost my Mom some 3 years ago, at age 94. Hardly a day goes by that I don’t remember her – perhaps because I have kept so many of her things which I use regularly – her canvas log carrier, her old but still working kitchen radio, fleece-lined slippers, to name a few. I even use the same book bag she did to visit the library every week.
When she was in her mid-80’s, I took her for a birthday dinner at Phillips Crab House at Baltimore’s Inner Harbor. We stopped in their piano bar on the way out. I told one of the local gadflys that she had played the piano for silent movies in her little town when she was a teenager. He told the piano player, who (a little patronizingly) asked her to play something. She demurred at first, but then hopped off her barstool and sat down at the baby grand, proceeding to play the concert version of Gershwin’s Rhapsody in Blue. The piano player threw up his hands, said “I’m taking a break. You take it away!” And for about 15 minutes she played Jerome Kern, more Gershwin, etc. She had trained as a concert musician until the Depression put an end to that dream. She was widowed in her 40’s but was a rock for her children and grandchildren. Now I try to be the rock for my family. And you, Jeanne, are a rock for all of us who read your blog. I know your Mother must have been so very proud of the woman her little girl became.
With warmest regards,
Nancy
Ooo, I would have really liked your mother.
May she rest in peace.
AKM, I am so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful tribute to your mother. May she rest in peace.
On my mother’s headstone –
“Every life is noted and is cherished. Nothing loved is ever lost or perished.”
Madeline l’engle, A Ring of Endless Light.
AKM – thank you sharing.
So sorry to hear this, Jeanne — my heart is full of tears for your loss and contentment for your memories. beth.
Beautiful, loving tribute. Andrew Sullivan @ the Atlantic was so touched by it he posted you mother’s picture and a link to your obituary this morning. My heart aches for your loss.
My heartfelt condolences and deepest sympathies. Thanks for letting us get to know your mom. Now, I miss her, too. The world seems a less interesting place tonight.
AKM,
I’m so sorry for your loss.
Hearing about your mother I found myself wishing for such a memory of my own mother, but I was not lucky that way. My own family was not full of love.
What a great mom you had!
AKM – I haven’t read any other comments, I just now came upon this news.
My sincere condolences.
By the picture you provided I can say your mother was a beautiful woman. Moreover, within that countenance there are the obvious signs of even deeper forms of beauty, love, character, honesty, fidelity.
It is hard parting with our antecedants forever. But it is also inevitable.
You have joined the legion of orphans, partial or complete. We welcome you.
I am sorry to hear that you have lost your mom. I hope her passing was as easy and pain free as it could be.
Our thoughts and prayers will be with you and your family.
Pavarotti: 1980 New York (Nessun Dorma)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TOfC9LfR3PI&feature=related
~Rest in peace~
“Vanish, o night!
Set, stars! Set, stars!”
What wonderful stories about a wonderful woman–and what a gift she gave us, in you.
AKM, thank you for sharing your mother with us. She was a great lady and you are a wonderful testimony to her life, love and virtue.
May your mother continue to live in your heart till you see each other again.
much love.
Jeanne:
What a lovely tribute to your mom. My condolences to you and your family.
What a beautiful tribute to your special mom, AKM.
My condolences…
Hugs,
Hannah
my deepest condolences to you and your family. she sounds like a wonderful woman. I would have loved to have known her. I hope the sorrow fades and is replaced with all these great memories.
“Peace be Still.”
this brought tears to my eyes. I lost Mama in 2008, and there’s not a day that I don’t think about her. It will be hard now, but the love she showed you will ease the pain as the days proceed. There will come a day when it doesn’t hurt, but in its place is a silent, dull ache that will never go away.
Jeanne,
Wonderful tribute to a great woman and a life well-lived. You’re right – the apple didn’t fall far from the tree!
AKM, when my father died, I felt that there were no words that could ever describe how much of an impact he had on me. Your story of your mother was so… articulate. I got it, and I know many others who read about your mom got it as well. We are so lucky to benefit from her lessons to you. Your love of reading, love of politics. We owe a thank you to your mom, all of us who read this blog.
After my dad died, I couldn’t imagine how I could go on. He was such a big part of my life, and he was born a little after your mom. Someone told me that I’d always carry him with me, that he would always be there to talk to. Because I knew him so well, that I could imagine and know exactly what he’d say. I didn’t believe this at first, but I do now. I hope, in time, you will come to see how your mom lives on in you.
I am so sorry for your loss. Life is never as long as we want.
Take all the time you need … and then some.
Jeanne,
My deepest and most heartfelt condolences and sympathy to you and your family. Thank you for putting into words such a beautiful tribute for such a kind soul. I called my mom today because of you…safe journeys ahead on your trip East…Bless you.
It all comes down to love, doesn’t it. Mother’s love of you. Your love for your Mother. Our love to you, and yours. Without love, we are nothing. But just because those we love and who loved us are gone, doesn’t lessen the love, it only means that it must spread in other directions, find the crevasses, and infiltrate other lives.
Your Mother’s legacy is love.
Best person I ever knew, Doc Eastly, always said, “You ain’t nothin’ unless somebody loves you.”
He was a veterinarian, passed away suddenly at age 83 about three years ago, much beloved in his community by his patients, clients, family, community and friends.
You are absolutely right. Love builds community.
What a lovely tribute to your mother….what a lucky mom and daughter…thank you for sharing her story with us… It was beautiful.
My condolences – beautiful tribute, beautiful lady. How lucky you are to carry such wonderful, clear memories.
Funny thing was, as I was scrolling down reading about your mom it made me think of my mom and a place or two that we lived and then I came to you as Elizabeth Taylor and the house behind you could ALMOST have been one of those places.
What a beautiful soul and a care free spirit your mom was. Sending my thoughts and prayers to you AKM and your family in this time of sorrow. “Perhaps they are not the stars, but rather openings in Heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us.”
Thank you AKM for sharing your Beloved Mom with us and writing such a beautiful tribute to her. I now understand where you inherited so many creative skills and generosity of spirit.
My condolences for your tremendous loss. I’m so grateful that you got to tell her you loved her one last time. In the times to come, that will keep giving solace.
A beautiful tribute at such a difficult time. I hope it has helped you, if just the tiniest bit, to create this remembrance and share it with us. As someone who recently lost a parent, I can say that the outpouring here for you and your mom has ripple effects, sending comfort even beyond where it was intended. Of course, that is the ‘Flats. As your mother tended a family, you have tended a community, and that is a tribute to both you, and her.
My condolences to you and your family.
Words are inadequate in expressing my sympathy at the loss of your mother. Please accept my heartfelt condolences and sincere hope that love and happy memories will sustain you over the coming days and months.
When my own parents died, the words of Longfellow–from his poem The Children’s Hour– resonated in me. May they also bring you some small measure of comfort:
I have you fast in my fortress,
And will not let you depart,
But put you down in the dungeon
In the round-tower of my heart.
And there will I keep you forever,
Yes, forever and a day,
Till the walls shall crumble to ruin,
And moulder in dust away!
Sounds like she was a terrific person– no surprise being as you are her daughter. I’m sure she would have loved your touching tribute.
Sending you a virtual hug…
I am so sorry to hear of your mother’s passing. At the same time I am so grateful to her for raising you to be who you are. What a wonderful tribute to a great human being. Take care of yourself, and come back soon.
Oh AKM,
I just logged on and saw this post-i can’t even express my sympathies coherently as i’m crying now, for the loss of your mom, for the loss of a loved one, for the pain all of us go through but none of us ever learn how to deal with…Your mother sounds like she was a wonderful person, and having met you just once, i can attest to the fact that she raised a fantastic daughter. May the wonderful memories you shared with us as well as the many, many more memories you have bring you comfort and peace at this very sad time.
With much sympathy,
Ayerishgrl
Andrew Sullivan has linked to this post. To quote “The love overwhelms”.
I’m not one to cry. But I am. A wonderful look into the small but essential joys only a mom can give. Thank you for sharing – her memory lives on in all of us now. She is truly blessed, as are you for having enjoyed such a long and loving relationship with her.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m sure you share many of her traits. You are such a blessing as was she.
AKM: “In some ways she lived a life of regret. She never became an opera singer as she’d dreamed as a child. She never graduated from college. She never became a……”
“I Never Saw a Moor”
I never saw a Moor —
I never saw the Sea —
Yet know I how the Heather looks
And what a Billow be.
I never spoke with God
Nor visited in Heaven —
Yet certain am I of the spot
As if the Checks were given —
~Emily Dickinson (1830 -1886)
My deepest sympathy to you and your family, Jeanne, on the loss of your marvelous Mom. That opera singer she dreamed about when she was child? Yep. A part of her did achieve that aspiration…..
Wow, what a woman, what a Mom, what a great Human Being.
Thank you for sharing her with us.
My sincere condolences to you at this time of loss.
I have lighted a candle so your mother and your family may have a light to guide them and help them thru this time of loss.
Jeanne,
If ever there’s a time we need our mother’s guidance, strength and comfort, it’s when we lose them…..
My heart goes out to you.
AKM, I knew your Mom was special even before reading your remarkable tribute. She just had to be, because you are so unique and wonderful. I love that she was a progressive, liberal Girl Scout leader. That is what I am too and I hope some day my own ‘surprise’ daughter (arriving 13 years after my 3rd child) remembers me with as much love as you have your own Mom.
I give your my deepest sympathy on your profound loss.
It is so hard to loose the presence of loved ones. I find comfort in this poem. I hope you might, too.
I give you this one thought to keep –
I am with you still – I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush,
I am the sweet uplifting rush,
of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not think of me as gone –
I am with you still in each new dawn.
I am so sorry Jeanne! Many blessing to you and yours during this difficult time! If you need anything please don’t hesitate to ask!!
You will be in our thoughts and prayers! ((((((AKM))))))
Dear Jeanne, we all share sorrow in the loss of your Mom, while marvelling at your beautiful tribute to her. She must have been extraordinarily proud of you, her youngest chick. Her legacy lives through you – in your great heart and empathy for all people and creatures and for the earth itself. My deepest sympathy to you and prayers for strength, grace and calm to get through the trying days and months ahead. Peace be with you.
that was beautiful. i hope you get a chance to read it at her funeral or graveside. and my deepest sympathies on your loss. she sounds like a great woman. born the same year as my mother, who passed way back in 1980.
Such beautiul portraits, both photo and written of a remarkable woman. Our hearts are heavy with sadness for your loss. May you find comfort in the love she lived.{{{{AKM}}}}
I made a donation to the Anchorage SPCA – they spay or neuter one dog a week for Animal Control – it helps the dogs get a real and permanent home sooner.
Thank you, Bretta. That would have made my mom so pleased.
One other thing, the portrait of her as a young woman – she has the loveliest eyes and the expression on her face is so sweet.
AKM; I am so sorry for your loss. The tribute you have written is lovely and warm. Please know that you are in my thoughts. I will now go to the candle room.
AKM, I wish I could do half of what you and the MudPups in Anchorage did for me when my Dad passed…my entire family sends you wishes of love and support.
BigSlick
Jeanne, I am so sorry for your loss. I hope your memories of your Mother will help through this very difficult time.
I made a small donation honoring “Jeanne Devon’s Mom” to
http://www.adopt-a-cat.org/donations.html
which is the Alaska Humane Society No Kill cat shelter. It seems to be a very nice place and I hope Jeanne’s Mom would have approved.
I can think of nothing she would have approved of more. Thank you so much… AKM
I am not a crier, but am crying now. Thank you for sharing your mother’s love with those of us she never knew, but who now have had the privilege of knowing her just a little.
AKM, as others have said more eloquently than I, I send my condolences, my strength, my love and my hugs to you and your family! What wonderful memories of your mother! I saw your tribute to your mother early this morning and was telling my daughter (Nicole Porter) about it and she said because I have been talking about you and your wonderful gifts over the last few years, that she felt like like she knows you and she asked if I would suggest you befriend her on Facebook, so that she could send her condolences. I did!! I lost my Mom in 1995 and your mother and my mother were a lot alike!! I still talk to her nightly!! And as one Mudpup said here, I have to listen a little more carefully to hear her but I do!! Peace be with you dear Jeanne!!
Your tribute to your Mom made me feel like I knew her. I would have loved to have helped her care for the woodland creatures (but admit, I would have had difficulty with the ants!). Russell and I send much love your way at this time.
Condolences from London. We can’t see your house, but we can feel your loss.
I am so sorry for your loss. I love your story about her.
I’m very much grieving the loss of my beloved dad nearly a year ago
and grateful (although worn out) for being the one to take care of my mother now – because hearing the stories is so great.
Your story is wonderful – I think your mother is very pleased with you.
God Bless.
Beautiful person, inside and out. My deepest condolences to you for your loss.
I’m so sorry for your loss, Jeanne… her legacy of love and caring lives on (and went viral!) in you.
Thanks, Jeanne’s Mom!
Bless your sweet and tender heart. Your words are so moving and true the love shines out.
Hugs to you as you carry on through grief and joy into your own future.
I’m weeping as I read this. I just happened to come upon this piece on Andrew Sullivan’s blog literally moments after I found out that my mother’s cancer that we thought was cured mostly likely has metastasized to another part of her body, and I face being without a mother sooner than I thought. This was beautiful, and although my mother is very different than your mother (my mother never sewed a thing, and shooed stray cats from our yard) she has a very big heart, and taught me about love, just like yours taught you.
I am so sorry for your loss, but happy that your mother died in the middle of living, which the most any of could ever ask for.
{{{{{{{{{{ Marie and family }}}}}}}}}}
Jeanne, Your tribute to your mother left me with both tears and laughter. I know how difficult it is to lose a mother, I’ve felt like an orphan for the last 10 years. I’m so sorry for your loss, but from the little I know of you, I believe you carry the essence of her with you. Take care of yourself.
AKM, I’m feeling for you right now. Please know that you penned the most beautiful tribute I think I’ve ever read.
Such wonderful memories and so wonderful you were able to share them and have them to look back on. I know how hard it is to be so far away, and to be able to write this. We’ll be thinking of you on your travel back. God be with you and your family as you go through the next few weeks.
I know this was a piece you had to write. You come to a moment when memories, passions and feeling overwhelms…and it has to come out. It has to. You’re a writer. There is no finer tribute that a piece from your own heart attempting (only attempting) to summarize all that she meant to you, all that she was. It was an impossible task, but wonderful at the same time. Just the attempt brought you a step closer to her, and I have no doubt brought a tear to your eye.
If you find yourself needing to write some more about her, don’t edit yourself, don’t hold yourself back, do it.
The sadness never really passes, but the intensity of it does. You know that, but it’s a strange comfort anyway, isn’t it?
I want to pass along my condolences, but at the same time, just remember, you are your Mother’s finest work. You are a testament to her memory with every step you take.
Godspeed.
What wonderful memories she left to you and what a wonderful legacy she left to all of us.
Thoughts, prayers and hugs to you and your family. We’ll all be here when you get back.
Your Momma sounds like she was a sweetie – much like her daughter! Know that you and your family are in my thoughts.
It is a great gift for children, when their parents live long enough that we can tell them how wonderful they are. Condolences.
AKM my sincere condolences. May you hold her in your heart as she has held you in her arms. You’ll be in my thoughts and prayers.
My sincere condolences to you at this tme of loss.
A beautiful tribute to mother from daughter. I’m deeply sorry for your loss.
Dearest AKM,
My pups and I are howling a mournful song of farewell today.
Followed by wishes for gentle, warm remembrances for you and yours who remain behind.
I dread the day that I shall also lose my mother (as we all must). Wrap yourself in our love as we send it to you and know that you have been truely blessed by the wonderful Mom that you will always have in your heart (where it really matters).
Peace, light and blessings upon your body and heart as you grieve. And know that we hold you in our thoughts (and song).
Dearest AKM. Please accept my heartfelt condolences for your loss. I know how you must feel. I lost my mother many years ago. No one can take her place.
Late into the night I thought of you and your Mom , my heart heavy for your grief and for your family’s loss. There is nothing like the crushing feeling of the moment you hear your Mom is gone. Especially when you were fortunate to have had a special soul who truly mentored and loved.
My Mom stops by for the occasional dream visit. I also believe she’s behind the music box that begins to play , out of the blue , startling the bejeebers out of me every single time. ( Music box that holds photos of Mom as a girl and it plays, Memories, of all things. She’s not subtle. )
I truly believe Moms can find a way to let you know they’re still around but just in a different part of the cosmic house.
Thank you for deciding to share your Mom with us. We’ll be thinking of you all .
What a lovely and living tribute to your mother. My deepest condolences to you and your family. It is odd that with the recent passing of my father, I find myself struggling even harder to find words to convey to others who have just lost a parent. Please know you are held in our hearts.
I’m so sorry, Jeanne. My sincere condolences to you and your family. :hug:
Dearest Jeanne, what a tremendous loss for yourself and family. She was a beautiful woman inside and out. Her passing must by nature leave a deep emptiness, but as time passes, her legacy of intellect, creativity and love will abide with you forever. Through a lifetime of respect and compassion for nature and it’s fellow creatures, people like her teaches us timeless lessons of the tenuous, fragile
bonds we share as nature’s guardians. You will have thousands of hearts here and in “your first family” singing your mother across the wide ocean. She is borne by thousands of hands linked in love and gratitude. She has not lived a life unlived. Heartfelt condolences. June
Sorry about the double post. I did not know that the big yellow face was going to show up. Was trying to cheer Jeanne with the small face. I’m still no wiser as how to correct. Can anyone help? Tx in advance.
Dearest Jeanne, what a tremendous loss for yourself and family. She was a beautiful woman inside and out. Her passing must by nature leave a deep emptiness, but as time passes, her legacy of intellect, creativity and love will abide with you forever. Through a lifetime of respect and compassion for nature and it’s fellow creatures, people like her teaches us timeless lessons of the tenuous, fragile
bonds we share as nature’s guardians. You will have thousands of hearts here and in “your first family” singing your mother across the wide ocean. She is borne by thousands of hands linked in love and gratitude. She has not lived a life unlived. Heartfelt condolences. June
Do not worry because you did not say the words “Thank you” directly to her. There are no words that adequately say what’s in your heart at the end. But the love is there, and that is what is important.
Your mom no doubt is in heaven now. From what I’ve heard of heaven, both from one person who was officially dead for a total of 12 hours (flatlined 3 times at the hospital from a heart attack) and from another person whose words paralleled the first, your vision of your mom’s time in heaven is probably not far off from being accurate..
May God bless and comfort you and yours.
Love and light to you on your journey, dear Jeanne, and to your wonderful mom on hers.
AKM~ Beautiful tribute to your mom…Thinking of you ♥
So sorry.
Beautiful tribute to your mother. My condolences on your loss.
Hugs, lots of love, and many prayers to you and yours Dear Jeanne,
Mr GG2C also sends his deepest condolences.
{{{{{ GG2C }}}}}}
Thank you all so much. I sat down at the computer today and I’ve been totally overwhelmed with your messages of love and support. I can’t tell you how much it means to me. My mom would have been totally overwhelmed too, I know. I will return here, I’m sure, in the coming days to reread your words of wisdom, sympathy and kindness. I love this community for so many reasons, and I’m so glad I decided to post this piece. I am so filled with gratitude and comfort on top of the grief. You are all wonderful.
Thank you for sharing the wonderful tale of your Mother’s life; she must have been so proud of you! Peace be with you in this time of grief.
I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your mother; she sounded like an absolutely wonderful person, and I think she passed along a lot of her best qualities to you. My Mom was also born in 1925 and has lots of health problems. I dread getting the call that you got yesterday.
There’s a poem by Henry Van Dyck called “Gone from My Sight” that I have loved since I first heard it. I find it very comforting and wanted to share it with you today:
I am standing upon the seashore. A ship, at my side,
spreads her white sails to the moving breeze and starts
for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength.
I stand and watch her until, at length, she hangs like a speck
of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.
Then, someone at my side says, “There, she is gone”
Gone where?
Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast,
hull and spar as she was when she left my side.
And, she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port.
Her diminished size is in me — not in her.
And, just at the moment when someone says, “There, she is gone,”
there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices
ready to take up the glad shout, “Here she comes!”
And that is dying…
Thank you so much for sharing that. It’s beautiful!
Jeanne,
May Peace and Blessings be with you and yours. Your Mom sounds like she was a wonderful Lady.
Your Mother looks and sounds so lovely. I am so sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you. My parents are in their mid-70’s and early 80’s and I am trying to deal with the fact that they won’t be there forever. My kids (17,23) are spending quality time with them. What it all boils down to is all the b.s. about politics, Palin, and the rest of all the idiots we have to listen to are not even worth mentioning at a time like this. Except for the fact that we can recognize what SARAH is lacking as a woman, wife, mother, grandmother. Because you and I can look back and realize how blessed we all are to experience real unconditional love , support and respect from a real woman, not a fake one..
Jeanne, my sincere condolences to you and your family. What a lovely tribute to your Mom.
God Bless you are in our thoughts and prayers.
Another candle is lit to help in your time of remembrance.
Oh boy…do I see you and your daughter your mom, or I guess the other way around.
Your mom goes on in a such a great way, your heart and kids!
Many hugs and warm thoughts sent from this little corner of Alaska to all in your family.
((((((AKM and family))))))
Thank you, AKM’s Mom, you must have been so proud of your daughter. Your Jeanne brought together a wonderful global community with the gifts you encouraged in her. Today we wrap her and her beautiful family gently in the arms of love that she inspires. Rest in peace, AKM’s Mom, one grateful mudpup
Jeanne, I knew when I started to read that I was going to cry. And I certainly did. I cried for your loss as well as for my own. My mother passed away in 1996 and I still miss her. There is an empty place in my life that only she could fill.
Thank you for sharing your memories of your mother. I would have liked her – alot. She and my mother had a lot in common, from being a true Democrat to making fantastic Halloween costumes to taking care of dogs and cats and everything else that wandered through our yard. She thought about going back to college to be a teacher, but like your mother, she already was one. And she was a fantastic artist. I think your mother and mine would have enjoyed each other’s company.
My prayers and thoughts are with you. Take all the time you need and don’t be surprised if there are times months from now when you suddenly miss her as much as you do today. As a friend told me, whose mother died the year before mine, the grief seems to wash over you at the most unexpected times and the best thing to do is to let it. Shed a few tears and in time it is easier.
The main difference I see between your mother and mine is that I could never get my mom to sit for a nice picture. She did everything she could to avoid having one taken so I don’t have any nice ones – just a few snap shots that aren’t very good. And I love the two photos of your mom. She was lovely.
Hugs, Pat
AKM—–so sorry for your loss. Love and prayers to you and your family. May your mother rest in peace!
Nana ( Lacy Lady)
So sorry Jeanne.
What an incredible tribute to a mom.
My mother died in 2006, my father had died in1965. To realize you are on this earth without your parents is a little frightening.
My sympathies are with you and your family.
Thinking of you. It is hard becoming an orphan. But the wonderful memories stay. What a beautiful
tribute.
WC’s sympathies to you and your family. That’s a beautiful, heartfelt tribute.
A big hug for you, AKM, and another for your mom. Thank you for sharing your memories with your ‘very extended’ family of Mudpups.
Mud:
Special condolences for your family… I hope you can find a great peace in your heart knowing that she pioneered a way for us every day… You’re doing a great job of following that path by carving out a great pioneer spirit of your own…
Best wishes to you and your family….
……….Winski
(((AKM))) Thank you for sharing the wonderful stories of your mom with us. Thank goodness our moms and dads never really leave us, their hard work and love live on, in us.
It sounds like your mom is not too far down the same beach where my parents are- it’s a beautiful place.
What a beautiful tribute and thank you to your mother. AKM, I hope your grieving will be short and all of your memories happy ones. My sincerest condolences to your family and to you.
Your mother lives on in you and in the memories of all those whose lives she touched.
So sorry for your loss. Hugs to you at this time and my thoughts are with you today and the days ahead.
She must have been quite an inspiring woman, to raise such an amazing, talented, and, dare I say, “mavericky” daughter. Our hearts go out to you and your family.
Your mom was a beautiful woman and she lives through you.
I’ve always enjoyed your pictures and stories of animals in your writings.
Looks like your mother’s influence remains for so many of us to enjoy.
Hugs to you and your family.
My heart is full of compassion for you right now. My Mom has been gone for many years, but her spirit stays with me. How blessed we have been to have had loving mothers. Take care Friend
♥ }}}
Just beautiful. So sorry for your loss.
My condolences.
sending you a big hug on this sad day.
Beautiful tribute, I hope you share it with your family as well. I’m sure they will find comfort in those loving words.
Deepest condolences on your loss, Jeanne. Take as much time as you need, the world of political craziness will be here when you are ready.
This made me cry…….
I lost my my mom at the age of 22. She loved all the animals too, once sent home a kitten in a taxi cab that was a stray out behind the store she worked in.
Loving mothers, how lucky we are are and were. A touching tribute.
I’ve been a mom almost as long as you have lived…
I am thinking your mama got her thanks each and every day she looked upon the full rich honorable lives her children live as I do when looking at mine- so let that worry rest, my friend.
Sending hugs to all of you in your family
… and the offer of another arm to hold, along with all here, should you need steadying now and again.
I’m speechless because you and all your mudpups friends have said it all. I am 82 and when I go my only child will be an orphan as she has no other living relatives and so I worry about her being all alone. I only hope she has half the memories of me that you have shared of your mother. And if you were my daughter, I would be very proud of you, as I am of my daughter. Bless you and your family, dear girl. Your mother will rest in peace because of the joy you brought her in her lifetime.
AKM:
You will never forget your mother.
And she will never forget you.
This is a living love.
What a beautiful tribute to your Mom.
My sincerest sympathies to you and your family, AKM. Thanks for sharing your memories with us… your mom sounds like a wonderful person as well as a awesome mom. I am reminded of my own sweet mother, whose passing 20 years ago left a big hole in my life, as well as my favorite aunt, who also fed and cared for every creature that came her way. My thoughts and prayers go out to you.
Sending you {{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}} and my condolences. I am truly sorry for your loss.
dear one…
i, too, this week lost a woman who was for too short a time like a mother to me. i feel like the two of these lovely mothers might be having a grand time of it all now after having finally met beyond the confines of this world.
my heart is heavy with the losses…i send soft hugs and much love to you, my loved one.
Love, hugs, and comfort to you too. The loss of anyone deeply loved is always hard.
Dear fawnskin, I grieve with you, too. I know it was an unexpected loss – very hard.
{{{{{fawnskin}}}}}
fawnskin, my condolences as well.
Fawnskin,
My heart goes out to you. Hugs.
{{{{{{{{{ fawnskin }}}}}}}}}
May the love of mudpups surround you like the softest, knitted shawl, bringing you comfort and peace.
{{{{{{{{{{{ akm and family }}}}}}}}}}
You are loved, respected, and admired worldwide. Your mother was wonderful. My mother, too, taught me to read — I got my first library card at the age of two, before we left Brooklyn. She hated being old, and died a couple of months before she would have turned 86. I have great memories of the Halloween costumes she made for me (or helped me make). However, I don’t have photos. You were a lovely Elizabeth Taylor, but I smiled imagining the Gurgi costume. What a loving and lovely tribute.
Aw, Jeanne, my heart just goes out to you today.
My mom’s been gone 20 years now, and my dad 13. When you lose your parents, it doesn’t matter how old you are; you become an orphan. It’s just crushingly, blindingly, painful for a while, but, eventually, your grief really does moderate over time. You find that your parents just live on in your heart and through the stories you tell about them.
I can still talk to Mama, but I have to listen a little closer for her answers nowadays.
I grieve with you today for your terrible loss. One more little candle has been lit for you, and, for your mom.
What a beautiful tribute for an awesome lady. I’m so sorry for your loss AKM. I know your Mom was very proud of you as the wonderful, caring, compassionate person you are.
All my heart felt sympathy to you and your family. May you find peace in your memories.
Kat
Sorry for your loss. Understand why you are so talented. You had a great example.
Thank you for sharing such beautiful pictures and wonderful memories. My condolences.
Thank you, AKM, for sharing your mother’s story with us. And, throughout this time of grief, may you know strength and peace from the many souls who love and treasure you.
I am very sorry for your loss. Your mother raised a wonderful daughter.
A life well lived becomes a beautiful memory
You have many.
Cry when you must,
Smile when you can…
Strength from our hearts to yours…
I am very sorry for your loss.
I am so very sorry your Mom is physically no long with you. Nothing can prepare us for this kind of loss. She gave you gifts that will be with you always. She made you who you are. You are blessed to have had such a special relationship with your Mother..Not every one is given such a wonderful matchless gift. I am sure she is proud of who you have become!
AKM-Thank you, for sharing ‘MOM’ with us. Your rememberance brought tears to these old eyes. God Bless.
My deepest sympathy on your loss! What a beautiful tribute! Thanks for sharing it.
I’m the oldest of five – my baby sis is 13 years younger and she was our parents’ delightful “surprise.” We lost our own Mom (b. 1920) about 8 1/2 years ago. Apart from the very personal sorrow at losing someone we love, it’s always startling to realize that there is no longer a “buffer” between us and the ancestors and that we have now become the “front-line” generation.
It’s wonderful that you have so many good memories. Through them, your mother will always live on with you.
Such a beautiful essay about your mom. You made me cry… and cry.
I think there is no way to explain the loss of a mother, you can only experience it and then live it every single day after that.
I feel fortunate, like you, to have a mother who I loved in so many ways who brought so many gifts to our lives. But it’s that great love that makes the passing that much more difficult.
Thinking of you. Love and Hugs, Julie
I am so sorry for your loss and grateful that you have so many wonderful thoughts about your mother to hold you close during this sorrow.
Thank you for sharing that loving tribute, AKM. My condolences.
What a heart-warming tribute…it brought tears to my eyes~
I am deeply sorry…I know the pain of losing a mother…it’s a loss that stays with you forever. My thoughts & prayers go out to you and your family.
I’m so sorry for your loss, AKM. Thank you for sharing your wonderful tribute. It brought tears to my eyes as I remembered my mother who passed less than a year ago. She, too, was an incredible caregiver. Many warm thoughts coming your way for strength in the days and months ahead.
Beautiful, Jeanne! Oh my… what a wonderful eulogy.
What a lovely tribute to a lovely woman. I’m so sorry for your loss.My thoughts are with you and your family.
You had a mother, not just a woman who gave birth to you. Anyone can procreate. Far too few have the inclination to truly parent. Your are one fortunate person, to have share you home and life with such a wonderful woman. It shows.
AKM, your tribute paints the picture of a sweet, sweet lady; thank you for sharing the stories with us. May every child be lucky enough to be born to such a wonderful mother, and to live life on this planet with her for so long.
From my branch of Nathanael Greene’s family tree to yours, I send my sympathy to you on the passing of a member of my distant family. We will hold you in the light, with a prayer that you will be comforted in your sorrow.
With hugs to you from your distant cousin,
Maggie
So sorry for your loss.
AKM i am sorry. so very sorry for the loss of your mother. thank you for telling a small part of her story to us. Mother now rests in peace after winning her race and finishing her course. i will light a candle and sit awhile thinking of her. my family and i embrace you and yours. take all the time you need. all will be well here…..i love you little Jeannie…..your old Bubs
Oh I am so sorry for your loss. God bless you and your family as you mourn, cry and celebrate her wondeful life. Celebrating her life and rememberng all those stories, big and small will always keep her alive. For me and my sisters, whenever we inevitably spill soup, gravy (especially KFC gravy!), or any other liquid food down the front of our shirts, we always laugh and say, “Mom’s here!”. My little sister (age 40-something) is finally seeing her poetry published and the first thing any of us said was, “Mom would be so proud”, but we know that our Mom knows already. When I went on my first date at age 50+, that same sister said, “Mom would be so proud” but I knew Mom already knew. May you always remember with a smile on your heart your mother and her love for you that never really ends. Courage, dear friend.
Thank you for sharing her. It was a lovely tribute. My sympathies to you and your family.
This is a walk that almost all of us have to take. Losing your Mother is like nothing else; she loved you before you were born and forever after. She loves you still…………….and you will think of her every day for the rest of your life. ( no one told me that when my Mom died…but, I find that it is very true and, in many ways, a wonderful comfort )
Peace and blessings to you, dear Jeanne. Consider yourself hugged.
So sorry for your loss. Your wonderful memories will be a great source of comfort.
AKM:
I’m very sorry for your loss. Cherish your joyous memories to lessen your sorrow. Your mother was awesome!
What a beautiful tribute to a wonderful mother. I’m so glad that you had such a loving family. My heart is aching for you.
I am sending you my sympathy. It sounds like your mother was wonderful and just grand. My Mom is 88 and I fear the day you have today, but reading what you had to say about your mother made me feel a bit better. Thank you for that. These days will be painful but full of so many wonderful memories as well.
I am sending you my sympathy. It sounds like your mother was wonderful and just grand. My Mom is 88 and I fear the day you have today, but reading what you had to say about your mother made me feel a bit better. Thank you for that. These days will be painful but full of so many wonderful memories as well.
Cori
AKM, I am so sorry for what you must be going through. I can see a resemblance between your picture and your mother’s picture. I have no doubt she was very proud of you. Part of her lives on in you and your children.
My sympathies. I lit a candle for you and your mom.
I’m so sorry, AKM.
Thinking of you, your family, sending you wishes for peace & healing & remembrances of happy times.
a poem by R.S. Thomas:
Some ask the world
and are diminished
in the receiving of it.
You gave me
only this small pool
that the more I drink from,
the more overflows me with sourceless light.
You will always have the pool to drink from, may it continue to fill you with light.
Sheila
A beautiful tribute for a beautiful woman. Love to you and all your family.
May the peace and strength of loving and being loved heal and sustain you.
Thank you for sharing your memories of a wondrous childhood, a strong and loving woman, and a life well lived. Your mother has, through your words, become a part of each of us. I doubt any of us will soon forget the touching portrait you gave us.
However, you are one of her best memorials because you are the kind of person she wanted you to be: intelligent, loving, and passionate about all things good and wise. Your love of photography, people and politics and learning about everything and everyone around you comes from a beautiful seed planted within you long ago and nurtured with loving patience. We each reflect where we’ve been, who we’ve met, and those who love(d) us. Your mother is reflected through your life of service. You, too, look after all of us by caring so much for what happens in your community and our nation.
Even in the astonishing depth of your loss, you give beauty to us by sharing your life and memories. Your mother would be so proud and so grateful. Any mother would be grateful to have a daughter such as you just as it is obvious that you were grateful to have a mother such as you did.
We hold you in our thoughts, Jeanne Devon. We owe your mother a great debt for shaping you as she did and for sharing you with us. Thank you so very much for opening your heart to us even as it breaks. It will mend. It will. Patience and peace be with you.
I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing.
I am so sorry, AKM. My heart goes out to you and your family. What a lovely lady, and what a beautiful tribute you’ve written to her.
Thank you for sharing your memories with us, it soothes the hearts of all of us whose moms have already passed, I think. Much love to your children as well, who have lost an extraordinary grandmother.
I see where you got your sparkly eyes from.
Very exceptional write-up, Jeanne.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family
In deepest sympathy…judi
Sitting here this morning with tears in my eyes after reading your wonderful, thoughtful tribute. May you find peace in knowing that you were truly loved.
Moms are always hardest to lose,even more than siblings. A wonderful testament to your upbringing and may it bring you comfort when needed. Thanks for sharing.
I’m so terribly sorry for your loss. You mom sounds like one hell of a neat woman and clearly you ARE her daughter.
My thoughts are with you, AKM.
Thank you so much for sharing that beautiful tribute to your mother.
Every time I see an ant, I’ll think of your mother.
What a gift she gave us, too – you.
There is never a moment..when you are..without your mother..not a second..not so. In that magic bloom of conception..until this moment ..upon the keys of memory..as your fingers dance the memories of a lifefocus..beautifully lived..the genetics..are still flowing deeply, strongly..in each of your siblings..who walk this day. The infinate..and the Now..blaze..toward birth..bringing every generation prior..forward..however thin the strands..forward..always forward..to the Now. Encoded in..your memories..are ones even earlier than..your conception and birth..the merest blush and bloom of aspects of her life experiences..passed..to each her children..like matched sets of history books..on a shelf..reaching back..through..all Time. She..walks in you..like bank vault..of ..impluse-toward..the new day..fragments of memory..you will wonder at..from whence they came. Wonder no longer..as their gift..these parents of ours..leave a coloring..of what we call many things..but..soul comes to mind..and thus..in the most unexpected ways..we have..a flash of ..Their memorys..Their..experiences. Parents will walk with us..always..always..always. We are them..they..are us. Ah ho!
So sorry for your loss. Your words helped me prepare a little bit as I watch my own mother’s decline begin to accelerate, although her dementia has turned to a dark side of accusations and recriminations; best to remember back to the good, and blur the bad a bit. Thinking of you, wishing you all the best.
Thank you for sharing this wonderful tribute. You gave words to feelings I’ve had about my mother, who died in 2005. She was my compass for so many things in life and her death had a profound affect on making my way in the world when I had to do it without her insight, knowledge, and wisdom. It is strange living without a mom. Having recently moved from living in Alaska for 30 years to Kentucky to care for my aging father, I have also thought of all my mom sacrificed to care for others. I see Mom’s hand prints everywhere in Dad’s house and find notes she wrote over the years. My heart has been full of emotions as I have cleaned, sorted and sifted through letters, recipes, and notes she wrote. My heart goes out to you as you experience living without your mom, and I am grateful for your gift of giving expression to your love and respect for your mom. She raised a beautiful, talented woman, who gives to so many of us each day through the gifts she passed onto you. Peace be with your spirit and my thoughts are with you.
AKM. Here as a first time visitor after seeing the announcement of your mom’s passing over at the Palingates blog.
What a wonderful and touching tribute to your mom! I have no doubt that anyone who reads what you have written wishes they could have known her as you were privileged to do. While I know this is a sad time for you, just take comfort in knowing that your mom lives on within you, and so can, and will continue to touch others far beyond her own lifetime.
A lovely tribute. I don’t think we are ever ready to lose our parents. Your mom was born the year after mine, and you have reminded me how fragile the time is that I have with her. Thank you for that gift. As I was reading about your mom’s love of creatures, it reminded me how similar she is to my mom. Although, I don’t think she would have fed the ants. I would though; I got that from her. Bless you, AKM, for the joy and kindness that you bring to all of us with your gentle heart and quirky sense of humor. You are your mother’s nut for sure.
what a lovely women….my condolences and all my love!!
AKM you are an inspiration to us all, your mother raised a wonderful child…my thoughts are with you and your family.
for my mother in law, of blessed memory, who left us in this season too many years ago,
and in memory of our muckraker’s mum
Amazing Grace (in Cherokee)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UvYIjFtPQEk&feature=BF&list=PL7ACEB11F832521DF&index=51
L’Shalom to all who mourn.
AKM – your mother will always be remembered by all mudpups for the wonderful gift she gave to all of us – you. And crowwoman. I’ve bookmarked that site and it will be one of my favorite places to visit and refresh my sometimes flagging spirits. Thank you.
That was absolutely beautiful.
What a wonderful tribute to you Mum. (MHDSRIP)
Deepest sympathies Muddy….
I’m so very sorry for your loss, AKM. My parents left me in 2002 & 2004–and not a day has passed that I don’t think of them and miss them. Being an orphan is a really strange thing to be. I was a last child also–6 years after the last, 14 years & 11 years after the first two–and I was dubbed a “surprise,” also. My mother was, like yours, one who cared for all, went back to school to get her Master’s in Education but wasn’t able to finish because my dad’s military career kept us moving all the time. I had also learned to read by age three. She was an endless giver, and made the kind of sacrifices you don’t even notice til you’re 30 yourself.
I will be thinking of you and hoping your memories bring you peace and comfort as you miss your mom. xo
You are right, being an orphan is a strange thing to be. It would, of course, be devastating, to be an orphaned young child, but a child is a child, no matter what the age. Not knowing what you lost is one thing, but to know and hold dear those things you shared, experienced or felt somehow makes the loss more keenly felt – simply because you know all too well what you lost.
Memories help and become sweeter with time, but memories are shadows of what was. However, that realization alone makes us embrace even more passionately those we are with now and love. Everyone and everything left and that will appear from this point onward becomes more important and you are less apt to take anyone or anything for granted.
Someone once told me that experiencing loss is a blessing and hearing that made me angry. It is only now, after having lost both parents and staring at my own mortality by the reality of my own age, do I realize what that person meant; loss makes loving our lives all that much more imperative. It shocks us our of complacency. It teaches us what and who truly matters. There is nothing, absolutely nothing, more important that loving and being loved – even if we are the last ones standing.
During my mother’s last illness, a nurse said to me that I needed to realize the importance of being kind to myself, to allow myself to release any guilt or regret (which comes to all of us who survive someone we love) because if we remember to love ourselves, we are taking care of the person our loved one loved and thereby loving them even more profoundly.
That gave me pause. It also gave me peace.
Powerful words. Thank youfor sharing
So very sorry about the passing of your dear mother. She had to be so very very proud of you! She sure sounds like a wonderful woman who definitely raised a great family, and a special YOU!
Her love will be with you always.
What a wonderful tribute to your mother, Jeanne. I know how very proud she must have been of you and all the things you have accomplished. Thank you for sharing her with us and take great care of yourself and your family as you celebrate her life and adjust to her absence.
May your mother always dwell in your heart. . . .
Bless you and yours, AKM. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Thank you for sharing this loving tribute, and for sharing your remarkable mum with us. You, dear apple, fell right under the tree,eh?
{{{{{AKM and family}}}}}
L’Shalom.
I am so sorry, AKM. Peace to all who loved her.
AKM,I am so sorry for your loss.
Take time for yourself, we will be here when you come back.
Love to you and family.
May your mother rest in peace and watch over you and yours.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJTiXoMCppw
She is High flying, with Roger Ranch. The gentle shroud, of an angels wing.
My deepest condolences and shared sadness, my dear friend.
What can I say that those before me haven’t already said (probably more eloquently than I ever could).
Just know, Jeanne, that the mudpups grieve with you, and will keep you in their hearts as you travel this journey.
I echo this sentiment, AKM!
Oh Jeanne: I’m feeling so much for you but one thing is for sure, your mother will always be with you in more than memories. The moment I opened the website I saw Alexandra. She will bring a new magical meaning to you now every day.
Love,
Sue W.
This is truly the most beautiful, heart-felt goodbye I have ever had the pleasure and honor to read. Pleasure because you have not only opened your own heart but given all of us a peek into hers. And what a heart! You were lucky to have had such an amazing mother and thank you for sharing just a little bit of her with us. Sending you a hug and may she rest in peace.
Took the words right out of my mouth. Beautiful tribute.
She sounds like a wonderful woman. Sorry for your loss. I will light a candle.
Jeanne,
That was easily one of the most poignant, lovely, affectionate and beautiful tributes I’ve ever read. I don’t know you personally, and I don’t comment much at all though I do read your work eagerly, but I wanted to offer you my heartfelt condolences for your loss.
I hope I may do my parents as proud as you must do yours!
With kind regards,
Shilpa (Sydney, Australia).
Very touching article.
Condolences to you and your family.
What treasured memories you recounted, Jeanne – thank you for sharing them with us. My heartfelt condolences at your great loss. As I have after 23 years without my Mom, may you find great peace in knowing that she is still always there to talk to.
I’m so very sorry. Thank you for sharing your mom with us; a lovely, loving person.
Our thoughts are with you and your family
My deepest sympathies to you, Jeanne. It’s a lonely road to travel when your mother is gone. I know, as I’ve traveled that road for the last 15 years since my mother died. But along the way, you will find so many bright spots filled with the more of the memories similar to the ones you told us. And you will smile through your tears and say once again, “Thanks Mom. You’re the greatest!”
My deepest sympathies to you, Jeanne. It’s a lonely road to travel when your mother is gone. I know, as I’ve traveled that road for the last 15 years since my mother died. But along the way, you will find to many bright spots filled with the more of the memories similar to the ones you told us. And you will smile through your tears and say once again, “Thanks Mom. You’re the greatest!”
Your tribute to your mom is beautiful, and I’m so sorry for your loss. What touched me most was seeing you acknowledge that although she never touched some specific goals, what she did with what she learned brought joy, comfort and love on her family. If my kids say that about me, I’ll count this life as a success.
Many hugs to you and your family.
AKM,,, I am so sorry for your loss…I still miss my mom everyday…I still go to the phone and realize I can’t call her…but it gets easier…Your mother did a beautiful job raising you and she shines in you, My heart breaks for you as you start this new journey….
((((((((Many, many hugs))))))))))
Thank you for sharing these wonderful memories of your Mom. My condolences to you and your family as you celebrate her wonderful life and the special gifts she gave our world.
The heart that never failed you gave you, in turn, an unfailing and unflinching heart. O Jeanne. The strangeness of the life without Mother is an feeling I had when my Mother died. My parents used to talk about my growing up like they were describing an inmate or a prisoner. I was always running away, pulling away from them, trying to be anywhere than where they were. But when I returned home as a young man from a long absence to school and Europe and North Africa all I wanted was to be with them. I could not fully return without feeling the embrace of my Mother. My Mother was my compass as, from the sounds of it, was yours. When she died, I had to rely on my own compass. We never cease to be children to our Mothers (and Dads). And when they die they take something of us children with them. Thank you, Jeanne for sharing this. My thoughts are with you.
compass…
Lovely words from your heart….thank you..
Thank you, Jeanne, for sharing this beautiful story of your loving mother with your friends here at the Mudflats. You are indeed a rich woman, with this fortune of golden memories. It is so very obvious that your mother’s many wonderful gifts live on within you. Gosh, now you went and brought me to tears, as your loving tribute reminds me of the many attributes of my mother that I relearned in my own memories after she passed several years ago.
I vote for you keeping these exquisite words you have shared with us, to be included in a special chapter in your own real book, the one you certainly will write by yourself …
Warmest regards and sympathy for your loss,
– Eric
Well-said and thoughtful…thank you..
Thank you for sharing these rich memories of your mom, a wonderful woman. So sorry for your loss.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs for you and your family}}}}}}}}}}}}}
My condolences. What a classy lady.
So glad you got to share your love for your mom with her one more time before her passing, Jeanne. And you’ve shared it with us, too. Bless you both.
Much love your way, J. I didn’t know your mom and I don’t know you, but was moved beyond words by your tribute and your love for her.
You said what needed saying, she did what needed doing and what a pair you are and will be.
I wish you the warmth of the memories to be your guide as your own journey continues.
Thank you for sharing so much.
May peace be yours as soon as it will be.
A parent’s absence is felt always, but she will be present in your heart now, even closer than before.
…with sympathy and empathy, from our house to yours. Thanks for posting your lovely tribute.
What a lovely testament. A blessing for you both. I am crying tears of sadness and tears of joy. Thanks for sharing her, and you, with us. Condolences and hugs to you and to yours.
Hugs and love from all of us here.
So sorry for your loss.
All best to you and your family — and thanks for sharing this with all of us.
((((AKM)))) I have no words.
Thank you so much for sharing the memories of your mother, Jeanne. I lost my mother two years ago and it still hurts deeply, but at least she also went “suddenly and with her faculties still in place,” as she’d have wanted. I love the photo of you as Liz Taylor! And the photo of your mother and those final words you wrote… left a lump in my throat and a tear in my eye.
I’ve started a candle room at
http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/candles.cfm?l=eng&gi=AKM
Thank you.
{{{hugs}}}
Beautiful
Thank you SO MUCH for doing that!
Thanks, Justa. I love the candle rooms.
Thank you.
Thank you for that thoughtful gesture…very touching and kind..
Thank you for thinking of this first. It means a lot to all of us on the ‘Flats.
Beautiful to read these words about your loving Mom-What beautiful memories. I’m so sorry for your loss.
oh so many hugs to you…what a beautiful eulogy….and what a wonderful daughter she raised…and how well you told her tale and who she was…..that she let you Embrace your Gurgi and your Elizabeth…and that she valued what matters in you and around you….much light to you…namaste
Dear AKM,
What a beautiful tribute to your Mom, I have tears rolling down my cheeks. My deepest condolences to you and your family…
I’m sure your Mom is smiling down at you, and lookin’ for critters to feed at the Rainbow bridge…
not many remember about rainbow bridge but I know it is there
Me, too.
Beautiful and sad. Anyone that raised the muckraker must have been amazing.
Oh, AKM, I am so sorry to hear of you and your family’s loss. Take your every time and your family’s needs … God Bless .
My deepest condolences to you, your family and friends. (she was a beauty ) XOXXOOO
Love to you
{{AKM}}
We’ll keep the light on.
while her passing was untimely, the life she lived was worthwhile. blessings on you and your family in this difficult time.
Your mother was a wonderful woman, thanks for sharing some of your memories of special times with her. I’m so sorry, it’s so hard to lose those we love.
Ahh such a wonderful tribute. Our thoughts are with you. Her memory will bring you calming warmth.
I am sorry for your loss.
VernD
My family’s thoughts are with you. Rest assured, she is not alone because a part of everyone who knew her dies as well.
…lives as well.
When ones is touched by someone, one is touched.
I send my heartfelt sympathy to you and your family. I’m sure your Mom was very proud of you and knew she did a good job raising you. Sending you and your family a big hug and hope you are ok. Losing your mom is not an easy transition or a pleasant one, especially if you were close. I know…..
What a beautiful picture you have posted. I lost my mom 12 years ago but to this day she is still with me because of all the love and guidance she gave me. I hope you have that same feeling.
My heart aches for you and I wish you all the best.
I agree with you seattlefan I lost my mom 10 years ago and every night I think of questions only she could answer.She was also a stay at home mom and i can still hear her singing while she cleaned our home(there were 9 of us kids.) The Tennessee waltz ,Hey good looking and others.She always sang.She was always there for us and our families.That is not something you ever forget.
A beautiful tribute to a special woman. Thank you for sharing her with us.
My condolences, AKM. I’m deeply touched by your memories and beautiful tribute to your mom. May you be strengthened and comforted.
You look lovely as Liz T.
Your mother did a great job.
You’re awesome!
And, a big hug and thank you, from me to you!
Well Done.
I’m sorry for your loss. There are few greater burdens in life than the loss of a parent. I’ve always found comfort is and ancient Yup’ik belief when losing a loved one. Some piece of her spirit will return in the birth of a child of someone else close to you.
I’m sure tonight this community you’ve created grieves with you.
I love my mom.
She went to the aurora in 2000.
It took a while, but I now love how I miss the things she did.
Is that strange? To love how much I miss the way she moved her hands?
Who cares, they are nice hands. I’ve the freckles on them memorized.
I’m the youngest of five as well. Mom always said I was the best mistake she ever made.
Once my sister was mad at me and yelled that I was just like mom. I still smile at the thought.
Hugs AKM.
Many moms may not walk the earth today, but you’ll know when they inject themselves into our daily routine. Don’t let it buck you off when this happens at first, just absorb. It gets more enjoyable as we get older.
Hugs.
What a mother. What a lady. What a tribute.
Thank you.
AKM, So sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing her with us. i think I see you in her eyes.
Rest in Peace
What a beautiful tribute to your mom. I’m crying, because in many ways what you described is very similar to what my mom is like. I’m so sorry for your loss, Jeanne.
I have tears in my eyes from your tribute to your mother. I think she would have traded any of her dreams for it, as of course she did. My mother was nothing like yours and the strangeness of losing a parent takes a long time to wear off, even in middle age.
Please accept my sincere condolences on your loss, I will make a donation in her honor as soon as I find a no kill shelter in your area.
It sounds as though the world has lost a wonderful soul walking the roads, fields and beaches. Now she is part of it all. Bless you for your wonderful description of your mama.
amen!
I send my sympathy to you and your family; while your mother is at peace, I know there will be a hole in your heart. May the hugs and caring from all mudpups provide some solace for you.
Blessed be-
AKM! My heart is with you while you make this journey into life without a mother you can call on the phone – as will be many more! I can’t type more right now.
Your mother must have been a great person because you are one. Our condolences for your loss.