Local Taxidermist Reports 550 Pounds of Unstable Dynamite in Old Station Wagon
~Bucolic Trapper Creek, Alaska – in the shadow of Denali
Residents of Trapper Creek Alaska (pop. 513) had a bit of a scare after 50 homes in the tiny hamlet an hour north of Wasilla were evacuated last night. The evacuations resulted because of the report of 550 pounds of unstable explosives in an old abandoned station wagon sitting on the owner’s property, near a local air strip. The vehicle had been parked there since the mid 1990s.
The owner and respected local taxidermist is now being called “Gator the Detonator” by residents. “He does good work,” said a former Trapper Creek resident of Gator’s taxidermy skills. He is also the former owner of the local watering hole Cache Creek Lodge, previously owned by the infamous “gorilla mask bank robber” found guilty of five counts of bank robbery back in 1992. “He’s a character. I wouldn’t necessarily call him the town drunk… “inebriate” sounds more upscale,” noted an observer.
Gator apparently placed a call to Wildlife Troopers himself, to report the explosives he had been storing in the vehicle. The dynamite, which had become unstable and was weeping nitroglycerin, was detonated in the wee hours of the morning by an explosives team from Joint Base Elmendorf-Richardson. Residents from evacuated homes within a mile radius of the station wagon holed up in the Trapper Creek Elementary School, which was just outside the evacuation zone. The impressive blast rattled windows in the school, according to an evacuee, and was reportedly heard as far away as Wasilla. Local residents outside the evacuation zone woke with a start, some thinking there had been an earthquake.
One local resident commented, “That’s a hell of a way to get rid of a junk car.”
~Some of the many junk cars in the otherwise beautiful town of Trapper Creek
Andrew Wellner at the Frontiersman reported:
snip “Alaska State Troopers reported in a press release that they went to Mile 3.5 of Petersville Road at 3:45 p.m., Friday. There they talked to a property owner who had requested their help disposing of the explosives, which were being stored in an old, abandoned station wagon.
“It’s been sitting in that car since about ’96, but prior to that he had bought this surplus boxcar that was surplus from the railroad,” said AST spokeswoman Beth Ipsen. The dynamite came with the boxcar “ He moved it to the abandoned car and it just sat there since ’96 and over time it crystallized and became unstable,” Ipsen said.” snip
I knew the “dress code” was coming, when years ago I was watching Jimmy “The Train Wreck” Swaggart back in the 80’s, because the Roadrunner and Coyote weren’t on. This was circa the up surge in the Neo-Christian Born Again movement was gaining momentum.
He was doing his little jig across the stage, and ranting that it was time that Women came to The Covenant of the Lamb, and stopped wearing short shorts and make-up. At least the ones that he wasn’t taking to the Motel 6.
Regarding Rick Scott , the “GINO” of Florida. The key to Rick Scott’s passing any bill, is how will that particular bill benefit Rick Scott?
There’s also a bill on his desk dictating how low, school aged boys can “legally” wear their pants. I’m sure glad the TEA PARTY is ad-dressing the big issues, and getting ‘Big Government’ out of our personal lives.
Won’t be too long before they will be debating what color Woman’s Burkas should be.
What color the Burqua should be? Hmmm… let them contenplate:
White for virginity and cooling reflection under our subtropical sun, or…
Black to absorb the sun heat and make us even more miserable?
Decisions, decisions…
Speaking of dynamite, I certainly hope all of their malicious “out of the board room, into the bedroom” nonsense will backfire upon the Regressives in a big way in 2012.
… sorry, make that contemplate!
And all this time I thought ‘Weeping Dynamite’ was Sarah’s pet name for Glenn Beck.
Maybe it’s “Blubbering Dynamite”?
Taxidermy spelled backwards is this word-ymredixaT,which in ancient rethug folklore, was the secret word used to summon demons and wreak havoc on the poor,the disabled and the elderly. Not much has changed over the years. Isn’t possession of large quantities of dynamite a federal offense in Alaska? I am not seeing how being a taxidermist qualifies one to handle dynamite,even with the proper permits. Would have made a heckuva wake up call for the Wasilla Vanilla Obfuscator,some fine morning.
This is SO Alaskan! Love it!
For whom did he vote in the November elections? Just askin’.
AKM … my take on this completely OK. Old school Valley Trash gains gov’ment help for his toxic waste problem. Great Alaska story about how the Feds help us with our problems.
We Alaskans have a history explosives. I glad this man called The Man do deal with his stash.
1st: I had no idea taxidermists used dynamite in their craft.
2nd: Visitors: tiny bells and pepper spray will not avail you against unstable dynamite that is weeping nitroglycerin. Please stay on the designated trails.
3rd: AKM, please, how does “weeping dynamite” compare to sobbing or merely whimpering dynamite? Will Parnell issue a MSDS sheet to the good citizens or is abstinence his story and he’s sticking to it?
Dynamite is basically tightly rolled paper around sawdust infused with nitroglycerin. This changes the nitroglycerin to a “dry” state, which is considerably less twitchy than liquid nitroglycerin. Dynamite is not only safer to handle, but also delivers more explosive force than the nitroglycerin used to make it.
When dynamite fails, the nitro begins to “sweat” or “weep” out of the paper in visible drops. Very dangerous stuff.
Recommended shelf life is about a year under good storage conditions. The back of an old station wagon, since sometime in the 1990s, would not be considered good storage conditions.
Alfred Nobel, the inventor, used the fortune he amassed to start the Nobel Prize.
ty, slipstream.
Check out the Wikipedia article on nitroglycerin, it explains the shockwave detonation that makes the substance so dangerous – all you have to do is jar it a bit and it explodes massively. Cool!
A really good weep can land you a job on a daytime soap. Or allow you to claim victimhood for anything, everything.
Or job as speaker of the US House of Representatives.
You guys are On A Roll this morning! Love it!
And yeah, as much as I love my adopted home state, I did not vote for (insert favorite epithet) Rick Scott.
Alfred Nobel hoped to make life easier for miners with his invention and was, towards the end of his life, disturbed by what his invention had become, the very potent weapon of modern warfare. This led to the establishment of the Peace Prize. All others rubrics followed from there.
Very interesting. In days of yore I was a commercial pilot. Got all kinds of charters. More than once from the Feds or State Troopers–due reports of dynamite. They would check it out and then send a specialist down from Anchorage. Who would always burn the dynamite; not blow it. Guess things have changed. They go for the big bang today it sounds like. Only wish they would have done so then, made the flight much more exciting.
Agreed- this is mostly a glass half full, as Alaska stories go.
Question: Just how does one acquire 500 pounds of dynamite?
Also, can I buy a shoulder-mounted missile launcher, just like Carrie Fisher had in The Blues Brothers?
According to Wiki,you could probably buy one of the hundreds of thousands of these weapons for a few hundred bucks,on the Black Market. You can’t legally have one ,not a working version anyway,in the USA,but,then I wasn’t aware an individual could possess massive amounts of dynamite legally. Just goes to show.
Oh yeah! I just remembered where I left all that dynamite!
Sheesh . . . I’m getting more and more absent-minded.
Whew, at first I thought it might be one of the Heath’s with a plan to truly redact some emails.
Well, the Army and Air Force do say that Alaska is a good place for training.
Though I doubt they had this particular exercise in mind.
Very positive POV here North!
Yes, thank you, to our highly trained military personnel that safely disposed of this idiot’s 550 lbs of unstable dynamite
our federal tax dollars at work
You’re welcome, from one of the states that provided the moolah. Don’t you just love redistribution of wealth?
But wait. Isn’t this another example of the federal government interfering in our lives?
He should be charged with some kind of crime as he endangered the community he lived in. What if some kids had found that dynamite. What an idiot.
AKM, please, they are not “junk cars,” rather they are “used parts bonanzas.” It’s all about sales, right? The dynamite was simply an ill-conceived parts distribution system, and as such had not been fully tested.
Seriously, the dumbth was rather high in this one.
Only 90 down here in the mesquite today, humidity was very low at 3%, wildfire season is well upon us.
🙂 The precise nature of your language brought great enlightenment to this reader, BeeJay. 🙂
Right you are vyccan
What a story–only in Alaska! But wait, here is some news from Florida. Several bills are waiting for Gov. Rick Scott’s signature. Among them are (1) a bill to allow children in grades K-1 to take full time virtual classes, thus shifting tax dollars from public schools (2) a bill outlawing bestiality, much time has been spent on this one (3) a bill allowing animal shelters to adopt out dogs that have been used for fighting without having to inform the new owners of their fighting history.
oh, the dumb increaseth
Wow.
Alaska recently passed an anti-bestiality bill. And no…. it didn’t pass unanimously.
And Alaskans can still marry their first cousins.
… but perhaps not taxidermists 😉
I did not think there were any states left that would allow that.
I believe this is the third time they have tried to pass this law in Florida. Will Rick Scott sign it? We shall see.
As for your “town inebriate” in Trapper Creek, was his name Otis? 😉
When I read about all these governors signing ridiculous bills I wonder – Do they actually read and understand the bills before signing them? Do they have any (common) sense? Why do they hate the people who are targeted in the bill? Because, the intent of some of these bills are obviously not for the betterment of the individual or the state. So often they seem more spiteful than anything else. Seriously, how do you stop the flood of insanity that’s sweeping through our times under the guise of governance?
Unbelievable, particularly (1) – no wonder America is rapidly sliding down the scale of countries with educated citizens!
Oh my, we too (in AK) had a law passed last yr outlawing bestiality. At least I think it passed–sponsored by the same legislator who was the only one NOT voting in support of another AK legislator–Rep Sharon Cissna–who, this yr, refused to have an invasive pat down by the TSA after the new scanner system showed something related to her mastectomy.
But to pass a law allowing dogs to be adopted without disclosing they’d been used for fighting–now that clinches it–I’m not moving to FL in my old age. How many other states have such laws? How can a legislature be convinced it is in the public’s best interest to do such a thing?
Inebriate taxidermist dynamite hoarders have always topped my list of Guys Not to Date.
ROFL! Why so picky?
I would have to agree! Perhaps at least he is not a drug dealer…..?
PS I am agreeing with Scrimshaw, though I see that the placement of my comment makes it look as though I also think she is being picky….eek.
Why not? I’ll bet he’s a real blast!
LOL!
“I wouldn’t necessarily call him the town drunk… “inebriate” sounds more upscale.” That’s a money quote
What a maroon!!