Twidiot History Palin Style
~Twitter’s infamous “Fail Whale”
For anyone who has not checked out the Twitter hashtag #palinhistory, you’re missing out on some much needed levity. After the now viral “Paul Revere was warning the British by ringing bells and firin’ shots in the air” gaffe, some clever tweeters have been coming up with other things Sarah might have to say about “history.”
And don’t worry. The predictable Palin has once again not admitted error, but has doubled-down and defended her obviously clueless position. And Palinbots are literally trying to change history by tampering with the Wikipedia page for our defenseless forefather. Wow.
Here are a few of the best tweets (and a couple from me). They just keep coming:
@DCdebbie: The Trail of Tears was John Boehner’s courageous tour of golf country clubs w/ lobbyists on his campaign trail. #PalinHistory
@Mudflats: Teapot Dome is where the Patriots won the Superbowl. #PalinHistory
@CranialDecay: “During the Cold War,President Ronald Reagan told China to “Tear down this wall.”.” #PalinHistory
@Jesus_M_Christ: I was a white Christian that spoke English. #PalinHistory
@Reilly4Sanity: Americans should remember the Alamo because Texans died for the right to upgrade to a mid-size rental. #Palinhistory
@HCookAustin: Palin Thinks “Roe versus Wade” were George Washington’s two choices for how to get across the Delaware River. #PalinHistory
@shutterblog: Columbus discovered America with his Nana, in a Pinto, near Santa Monica. #PalinHistory
@Mudflats: The Bull Moose Party is what happens around the barbeque every September in Wasilla. #PalinHistory
@rollingingraves: Paul Revere wanted more cow bell #palinhistory
@johntmarohn: Hamas is great on Pita #PalinHistory
@steveweinstein: The only reason we have climate change is because Reagan ended the COLD war. #PalinHistory
@ninatypewriter: Tel Aviv is Israel’s biggest telephone company. #PalinHistory
and a good summary of the thread:
@bowedoak i have to sleep, #palinhistory wore me out laughing so much. Hours and hours of it.
I’ve been catching up, reading the above, and I’ve been laughing so hard and want to say thanks to those of you who have been funnier about $S than the late nite comics. I just wonder if she ever has the courage to read what the public thinks of her ability to do anything but keep her name in the media, by any means possible. She will never run for pres, all she seeks is the limelight and loves the idea of the GOP being intimidated by her. Why? I don’t get it other than the fact that she’s a narcissistic, money grubbing, wanna-be celebrity, bitch. In any event she is the gift that keeps on giving with her inane stupidity, comments and self-serving idiocy. However, she is also the pinata that we just love to whack and hope she cracks spilling her profound intelligence upon those palinistas who support her stupidity.
Before instructing us on Paul Revere,
Palin must have had way too much beer
And a pint of vermouth
Helped mangle the truth
As she gave us a really bum steer.
Sarah is so stupid she thinks Jethro Tull is one of the Beverly Hillbillies!
Mrs. Crabapple: “Welcome to a new year, class. Who would like to tell us about their summer vacation?”
Lisa Simpson: “I worked in a third world country single handedly installing a clean water system. Then, I came home a raised money for Downs babies.”
Sarah: “That’s a gotcha question!”
Bart Simpson: “I put an “I, the Media Whore” sign on the back of a ho’s bus!”
The Simpsons, which has made a lucrative career out of punking any and all stupidity has been out punked by reality. If they’d had anything as stupid as what came out of Sarah’s mouth about Paul Revere come out of Homer’s mouth, it would have been too over the top. People would have rolled their eyes and said the writing was going downhill.
WC thinks its a good idea to reflect back on General J. C. Christian’s Amazon review of Sarah’s bio, which included this dead-on summary of Palin’s veracity:
There are many kinds of truth. There are truths based on facts, truths based on faith, and truths based on something that sounds as if it should be true (truthiness). Then there’s the kind of truth we find in Sarah’s book: stories and concepts that become truths simply because she states them. She’s a lot like our Lord and Savior, Glen Beck, in that respect.
Palinbots are rewriting, correction, defacing the Wikipedia entry for Paul Revere page to match her version. It’s a sad fact. The main editor of the changes is a long time contributor to the Palin page. There are also pro-Palin new history discussions happening in the forum. AND NOW Palin claims she did not get the facts wrong. She insisted, INSISTED to Chris Wallace she was right. http://www.staradvertiser.com/news/breaking/Palin_I_didnt__mess_up__Paul_Revere_history.html
A cartoon too rich not to share:
http://bobcesca.com/blog-archives/2011/06/the-midnight-ride.html
Wonderful!!!
I posted this on the last open thread as well but since it also fits here, I wanted to make sure everyone had a chance to read how Eugene Robinson succinctly calls out the fraud queen.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/sarah-palins-revisionist-ride/2011/06/06/AGVMGbKH_story.html
Thank you SOOOOOO much for posting (reposting, even!) that link. Hiiiiiiiii-Larious!
The British empire sent convicts to Australia because they were looking for new places to open up fish and chip shops because the British were such lovers of free trade. Also.
That’s a good one, aussiegall77. Long live the Queen !!!
nem
I needed an intervention after that hashtag started.
Two favorites that I wrote:
“Abe Lincoln had a stovepipe had and a button nose and two eyes made out of coal.”
“Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky were responsible for the Cuban Missile crisis.”
I loved this hashtag. I generally love that about Twitter- the hashtags.
I dislike no edit button 🙁
Abe Lincoln had a stovepipe hat and a button nose, and 2 eyes made out of coal.
sheesh
Since I am born in the Heartland, I take exception when I am in the presence of east coast people who have absolutely no idea how the product is created, sustained, harvested, marketed, banked.
nem
PS: “Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky were responsible for the Cuban Missile crisis.”
Tonight on NBC Evening News, Brian Williams aired a clip of Palin calling this a “gotcha question”. He then, with a totally straight face, said something like “And the “gotcha” question was “How was your day and what did you see?”” Love ya, Brian.
Everything is a gotcha question when a person has no idea what the flippin’ heck they’re talking about 99% of the time.
=D
Okay, you got me on that one.
Since I don’t Tweet, but wanted to read some more of the brilliant and fascinating little-known history that’s being uncovered out there by $P and her bots, I googled: #PalinHistory.
Lo and behold, what should be the very *first* result that pops up? Why, “AKMuckraker: McCain Rewrites Palin’s History, by Rep. Les Gara,” of course! Even then; even then… beth,
It’s from October 1, 2008 and can be found on HuffPo, here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/akmuckraker/sarah-palin-rewrites-alas_b_130749.html
Oh, yes, Twidiot is awesomely grandiose and wondrful; so fitting and apt.
Ring them bells Sarah! My absolute fav would be to wade and not roe across the Delaware.
I wish we had a “Like” button for the comments. I’m cracking right up with this thread.
Was unable to get online the past week and a half and am enjoying catching up. Much needed guffaws !
Warning to the British: ‘Sarah Palin is coming!’… in July
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/palin-unlikely-to-get-an-audience-with-thatcher-2293856.html
BTW what was the Sudan claim she made?
It is bad enough that Sarah screws up history, but to argue that she is right, is more appalling.
I don’t know how the people at FOX can keep a straight face– of course all the lies they put out for the public to bite, I am not too surprised. Her poor kids are suffering in more ways than one.
She and MOP head would make a good pair.
Actually, I think some of them can’t keep a straight face. Fox recently had a Palin story with a picture of Tina Fey. IM and talkingpointsmemo have posts.
I saw that. Apparently FauNews producers really don’t care !!!
nem
This Day in US History *According to $arah Palin*: 15 March 2009
18-hours after President McCain stepped aside to allow the much more qualified Vice-President Palin run the Nation, Madam President set the tone of her administration with the immortal words:
“We flow with fish that G_d has so blessed us with as Amuricans who are rill and willing to sacrifice for and the Troops that we thank them; We, as Reagan said, and tax with not corporations growing the economy with self-sufficiency in energy domestic 20% in Alaska trickling down monumentally; 1772, 1814, 1899, 1954, 2008; Ring bells and shoot arms for Freedom and horses and Constitution are foundational to America and we history them for all to know, Statute of Liberty and Fort McHenry flying the Star-Spangled Banner also, too, for visitors. Todd is the first First Dude.”
Sound about right? beth.
Ain’t funny MacGee !!
Willie Geist on Morning Joe read the reporter’s “gotcha question” (as she called it with Chris Wallace) Todd’s wife was asked that resulted in the extraoridinarily tortured, syntax-ually challenged, historically inaccurate, ridiculous response:
“What have you seen so far today and what are you going to take away from your visit?”
Sarah, you are so out of your league that it has ceased being funny. Please STFU and slip quietly into the night. And be sure to watch out for scorpions when you go to bed tonight.
Teabagger History
http://www.buzzfeed.com/chrismenning/us-history-according-to-sarah-palin
The Liberty Bell got cracked while Paul Revere was carryin’ it and ringin’ it on his traitorous ride to warn the British soldiers and he dropped it on Samuel Hancock’s cement slab. Ben Franklin showed up and demanded it back, sayin’ “Give me Liberty Bell or give me death.” The British soldiers shot him 100 times before he died, which is why he’s on the $100 bill. Later, Samuel Hancock traded the British for the bell and gave them lots of lager. Then, he traded it to Philly for some cheesesteak and a player to be named later.
Poor Ben doesn’t get to be Ambassador to France? He enjoyed that so.
Not France! Freedom! Ringin’ those bells, freedom fries, freedom perfume, the Iffy Freedom Tower, freedom kisses (lead to abstinence, dontchano). Love that Neopolitin, selling us Alassska!
That’s not true. Or maybe it is. Jefferson went to France and Franklin went to Britain.
nem
I’m with y’a so far. We need beans? Go with it ‘pups’. We are the powers that be !!!!
Speaking of Twitter, what about that Weiner guy??? I guess the GOP doesn’t hold a lock on the sex, lies and videotape behavior…
That woman is an idiot. Sadder still is the MSM’s fixation with her idiocy.
We are doomed.
Must agree. However, the chart that RMS used is extremely useful. Creepy is the operative term for what we know about the abuse of the public trust.
MSNBC is supposedly going to put ALL of Palin’s emails (release by the State of Alaska on Friday, the 10th) on line for everyone to be able to download and review. Malia made the announcement on her blog awhile ago. Amazing the State of Alaska would not do this – takes another source who will actually pay the approximate amount of $1,000 to obtain the emails that they requested close to three years ago. Thank you MSNBC and to Malia for the work she has been doing w/regard to Palin.
Thomas Jefferson was Revolutionary America’s Nancy Pelosi. He bought a pig in a poke from France and said he would have to read it to know what’s in it. He never,as near as historians can decipher,spent any time in a Minneapolis airport men’s room widening his stance. It has been reported that he told Colonel Jackson to change his name to Michael,add some serious tan and meet the Neville Bros. in new Orleans and kick some British Invasion booty. That is the story of how RandB became Amtrak.
Excellent Mike !
There’s plenty of funny idiotic tweets that Sarah Palin has made without having to resort to creating new ones…
Oh the tweets just keep getting better. Some are so funny I had to laugh out loud.
The Pilgrims landed on Plymouth Bedrock. Mr Slate was the first governor of the colonies. #PalinHistory
Old American folk song: One if by land, two if by sea, and frolicked in the autumn mist of a land called Honalee. #Palinhistory
“And when all those Africans came over on those ships, we Americans gave them jobs.” #PalinHistory
Clever but offensive. nem
Will wonders never cease? Latest poll says that Palin is the least qualified to serve as President:
http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0611/56346.html
Finally someone from the neoconservative National Review taking Palin to task for her dismal history recall:
http://www.politico.com/blogs/bensmith/0611/Reveres_bells.html?showall
If you know anyone who is defending the quitter queen on this, you might want to send this to them since the author wrote a book about Paul Revere and says that in every respect, Palin’s take is absolutely wrong.
The comments are wonderful! This is Politico and Sarah is getting slammed.
Found this article about her bots trying to change history via.Wikipedia: http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2011/06/06/palin-fans-attempt-to-rewrite-paul-reveres-wikipedia-page/
I re-read The Handmaid’s Tale when planned parenthood funding was on the line. Shall we all re-read 1984 now?
Ohhhh…. you’re sending shivers down my spine with that “Handmaid’s Tale” reference – especially linked to “Nineteen Eighty Four” too (also) – because I since reading the later, then the former, I always kinda thought “Handmaid’s” was the woman’s version of “1984.”
Hell, let’s just send EVERYTHING down a memory hole! How ’bout that? Grrrrrr >:(
So tough. This summer I shall read them both, again. I do remember “1984” even though I read it the first time in 1972 ??. Who remembers “A Clock Work Orange” ??
i do, i do…the movie was referenced in the NYT (?) review of the movie that’s coming out about Palin, as in “i felt like Alex but nobody came and put drops in my eyes”
Here’s more history according to Palin:
http://www.borowitzreport.com/2011/06/06/palin-we-must-never-forget-the-wisdom-of-jefferson-and-his-wife-weezy/
Stop it. Perhaps you never had the opportunity to study American History. I encourage you to enroll in the nearest middle or high school. Should you learn something, please contact us.
nem
Colin Powell was that rich old guy on Gilligan’s Island.
Alaska became a state only because the Federal Gubmint’ forced us to join the union. 😉
(That is, I imagine revisionist $arah saying something like that).
Are you a dwarf/troll? Study, visit, learn. nem
There’s a wonderful article on Palin, “Professional Victim” by Frank Schaeffer over on HuffPo. If you missed it (like I did–a friend sent me the link) here it is:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/frank-schaeffer/sarah-palin-professional-_b_871439.html
“Lamestream media and those university elitists wants you to think latin is a dead language…well, duh, they speak it in Latin America, don-cha-know”
The Big Apple, where she had dinner with the Donald was named by Johnny Appleseed.
“Paul Revere wanted more cow bell” is my favorite!
Maybe we should all send one to her new home in AZ as a House Warming gift?
She won’t understand. That’s a hockey support thing. I feel many jokes about the ‘supporter’. Maybe, we just wait. Arizona is burning. I wonder if “all sarah all the time” knows the significance of “Is Paris Burning?”
nem
I’d rather send a box full of rattlesnakes and gila monsters,except I don’t have anything against reptiles and Palin would probably scare them to death.
24,199 pages of Palin e-mails to be released Friday morning
http://openchannel.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2011/06/06/6797957-24199-pages-of-palin-e-mails-to-be-released-friday-morning
“The state at first quoted prices as high as $15 million for the records, but the price is now down to 3 cents a page, or $725.97 for a set of the records.”
Sounds like an infomercial.
Sounds like typical rethuglican new math. They probably tried to privatize the printing which would account for the 15 million dollar cost. They then subtract the actual cost from the guestimated cost and pocket the leftover change of roughly 14 million,nine hundred ninety nine thousand,two hundred twenty four dollars and 3 cents. Not a bad profit.
I am reposting this because it demonstrates that although the petition IS genuine, the Democratic Party has a sense of humor too.
The Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee has a new petition, follow the link at the bottom to sign the petition if you want.
Please pass this around and would appreciate it very much if Mudflats saw fit to make a short post out of this. Thanks.
Teach Sarah Palin a History Lesson
During her bus tour, Sarah Palin was yammerin’ away to reporters about how Paul Revere rode through the streets, ringin’ a bell to warn the British to stay away and keep their red-coated hands off Americans’ guns. Huh? That’s certainly not the historical account WE remember.
If Sarah Palin’s going to be a presidential candidate, she needs to bone up on her American history, and we’re ready to help.
We’re going to send her a copy of “A Picture Book of Paul Revere.”
Would you like to help? Add your name, and we’ll be sure Sarah has you to thank for her newfound knowledge.
http://www.dscc.org/act?action_KEY=195
signed this morning. thanks for posting.
Need to add a warning not to eat or drink while reading….. Roe v. Wade as choices Washington had to cross the Potomac made me snort my coffee!
With me it was that good ole southern sweet iced tea!
I think that was the best.
I also have a fondness for “Paul Revere wanted more cowbell.” 🙂
That was my fave.
Oh double Acck! Was I slow on that one. Until I read it out loud. Geez.
Is this a reference to ‘Bill Maher’ ?
I needed the laughs. Thank for the funnies. Keep’em coming guys.
I doubt that even the Onion would have thought up a bit about Palin’s take on history. I say, let her run for president… it’s comedy gold.
Movin’ on up
MONTICELLO (The Borowitz Report) – Visiting Thomas Jefferson’s historic home, Monticello, former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin today paid tribute to the nation’s third President, telling an audience of supporters, “We must never forget the wisdom of Jefferson, and his wife, Weezy.”
Gov. Palin said that “at a time of our history when the American people needed leadership, it was Jefferson who said the immortal words, ‘We’re movin’ on up.’”
Jefferson? Wasn’t he one of the elitist founding fathers the president that expanded Government, and put us in debt with the Louisiana Purchase? Then sent a group of people (Lewis & Clark) out to find out “what we bought?” Also, too, to tell the all the people they were US Citizens?
When a man assumes a public trust he should consider himself a public property. Thomas Jefferson
Now I have to say, I thought Jefferson did the Lewis & Clark before the Louisianna Purchase. I am so embarrassed. nem
Did she really visit Monticello?? In the late spring, in the low mountains of Virginia, ??????//////////
Give up, nem
Fantastic…you can learn so much from PalinHistory!
From one of the smartest people I know, reacting to my emailing this thread:
“This woman is a descendant of Mengele’s genetic experiments, I am quite certain.”
I think she’s “gone full retard,” to quote that Ben Stiller movie.
So scary. It may not just be her, consider the concept of the many, many,many, many families who Home School !!!
Remember, the teabaggers’ #2 target is any governments’ departments of education. Generations of ignorance, working for the ‘company sto’, settle down. Racism and intolerance goes back so many generations even into the “Old World”.
Oprah Winfrey produced an extremely poignant videa. Purpose; intolerance, ignorance, and tracing family abuse and violence, thru survivor families, to before the Civil War (the war between the states).
The Civil War was a documented shift. This is not the reason for my writing tonite. But, this seems like a good thing to recognize, accept and drive on. nem