My Twitter Feed

May 2, 2024

Headlines:

No Time for Tuckerman -

Thursday, August 3, 2023

The Quitter Returns! -

Monday, March 21, 2022

Putting the goober in gubernatorial -

Friday, January 28, 2022

Open Thread – God Hates Shrimp

To commemorate the historic vote on marriage equality in New York state, and Pride celebrations across the land, I’d like to point you to one of my very favorite satirical websites – God Hates Shrimp. What’s that all about, you ask? Well you know when people start quoting Leviticus to defend their stance against gay marriage, calling it “an abomination?” God Hates Shrimp deconstructs this argument with quotes from the scripture and humor.

Shrimp, crab, lobster, clams, mussels, all these are an abomination before the Lord, just as gays are an abomination. Why stop at protesting gay marriage? Bring all of God’s law unto the heathens and the sodomites. We call upon all Christians to join the crusade against Long John Silver’s and Red Lobster. Yea, even Popeye’s shall be cleansed. The name of Bubba shall be anathema. We must stop the unbelievers from destroying the sanctity of our restaurants.

Leviticus 11:9-12 says:
9 These shall ye eat of all that are in the waters: whatsoever hath fins and scales in the waters, in the seas, and in the rivers, them shall ye eat.
10 And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you:
11 They shall be even an abomination unto you; ye shall not eat of their flesh, but ye shall have their carcases in abomination.
12 Whatsoever hath no fins nor scales in the waters, that shall be an abomination unto you.

Deuteronomy 14:9-10 says:
9 These ye shall eat of all that are in the waters: all that have fins and scales shall ye eat:
10 And whatsoever hath not fins and scales ye may not eat; it is unclean unto you.

Here’s a link to the site [click] where you can download printable signs and web banners, read more, and enjoy the hilarious photo gallery.

Comments

comments

Comments
23 Responses to “Open Thread – God Hates Shrimp”
  1. mike from iowa says:

    Brian on Facebook. Truly a manly moose among many mooses. Will there be a Marlboro Moose campaign ad in the future? What is the big guy’s favorite libation? I can send him some world famous corn from iowa if I can find any that is not genetically mutated. He will need lots of corn to fuel that body of his in sub-zero weather. Get him some bear spray to keep wolves and tourists at bay.Maybe he wants a subscription to Playmoose,with edible center folds and interesting moose articles. What do you get for the moose who seems to have everythng?

  2. justafarmer says:

    Just got my July issue of National Geographic. On the last page, the “Flashback” photo is of Henry Clark of Skagway in 1921, pictured with his monster five-foot rhubarb.

  3. bubbles says:

    omg! they are at it again. please read the story. the link has a trailer. i read it first on Wonkettes.

    http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/tea-partiers-create-own-tv-205153

    place food and drink away from the computer. please.

    • zyxomma says:

      Haven’t we been paying attention? Entertainment is one of the Seven Mountains the dominionists intend to take over to institute a Xian theocracy. Frank Schaeffer (author of Crazy for God) explains it very well. Visit http://www.godsownparty.com, or find him at HuffPo.

  4. thatcrowwoman says:

    Shrimp po’ boy and seafood gumbo at Mother’s last night. 🙂

    Brian and I have met many librarians, authors, and illustrators today; I’ll post pix when I get home. He’s very popular, and should see an uptick of hits on his facebook page after all the folks he’s met here.

    So the Librarian Flash Freeze Mob is this evening in Jackson Square; no singing and dancing, but we will “freeze” (HA! in New Orleans?!) for 3 minutes in librarian poses (whatever that is…I will NOT be shushing, that’s for sure).

    20,000+ librarians here…as close to heaven as I’ve been in awhile.

    off for more
    L’Shalom y’all,
    thatcrowwoman

  5. beth says:

    Ah, yes… giving rise to the ever-unctuous and smarmily-condescending phrase righteously put forth by the ‘religious’ as a conversation-ender on the topic: “G_d hates the shrimp, but loves the shrimper.” Riiiiiiiight. beth.

  6. BeeJay says:

    I guess I’m a sinner, as I do so love me some good shrimp. Thank goodness neither steelhead nor salmon is on the list, as I would have been burnt to a crisp long ago… Not to mention clams, oysters, crab, and lobster!

  7. mike from iowa says:

    I just finished reading about Darrell Issa-the rwnj California congressman that gave over a million and a half bucks to a recall petition drive against Calif. Guv Gray Davis. Issa is one of the wealthiest members of Congress. He has a police blotter list about a mile long. This guy should never have been allowed to run for office. You can look it up on Wiki.

    • leenie17 says:

      And THIS is the guy who is the Chairman of the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee!!!

      I suppose it does make some sort of sense…put an unethical criminal in charge of rooting out other unethical criminals. What’s that old saying? “Takes one to know one”

  8. Alaska Pi says:

    http://www.wisconsinwatch.org/2011/06/25/prosser-allegedly-grabbed-fellow-justice-by-the-neck/
    Watching this story…
    Hoping for more news as it develops.
    Stay the course WI- standing with you!

  9. mike from iowa says:

    I guess that means catfish are off the menu as well. They don’t have scales per se,they have a smooth complexion with whiskers,just like me. What would rilly put a boil on god’s posterior is the fact that catfish eat crawdads,clams,freshwater shrimp.other finny denizens WITH scales and to top it all off,they are reported to enjoy scarfing down hot dogs and Ivory soap.They love anise scented bait and Preparation H( contains shark oil). I believe both of these are illegal for use in iowa,however,if you’re going against the will of the big guy,why let mortal restraints stop you?

  10. I say, “Let them NOT eat the shrimp, crab, lobster, clams, and mussels!”

    More for the rest of us.

  11. merrycricket says:

    Ye shall not eat until Ye invents thine butter sauce seasoned with herbs. Mmmmm

  12. justafarmer says:

    Well, if we can’t eat them what are we supposed to do with their carcasses?