MudMole Reports: How Oil Execs “Rally” (Updated)

Get out the Dawn dishwashing liquid, because you’re going to need its ability to disperse oily residue after today’s “rally” to give the oil companies billions in no-strings-attached money. Starting in just a few minutes, you’ll hear from former Conoco oil lobbyist and Exxon oil spill apologist Governor Sean Parnell.

But right now, we’ve got our first shot from inside. Yes, we have a MudMole. Shhhhh.

This is how the other side holds a “rally.” Note the fresh-faced leaders of the future, the homemade signs, the air bristling with righteous indignation and the desire to benefit mankind. These protesters began their march at the Conoco building, and  have trudged long and hard from the other side of the street, some literally for minutes.

Stay tuned for more.

You can join the fun with a live feed of the “rally” HERE.

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UPDATE:

What would an oil company white table cloth rally be without the industry’s favorite blogger?  Mudmole just spotted Andrew Halcro cutting a dashing profile  in this season’s “rally-wear.”

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UPDATE:
What’s a rally without some good protest music? In the rich tradition of such, a rousing and emotional choice was made. The oil rally attendees will be joining hands and swaying to “We Will Rock You.” And by “rock” they mean “screw.”

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UPDATE:

Mudmole spots former Palin spokesman Bill McAllister (now with Channel 11) and says, “Billy Mac – keepin an eye on stuff. At least his old boss was on the right side of this.”

True.

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UPDATE:

The crowd is estimated at 1000. That’s a $40,000 gross haul for this little rally. Pretty nice. That’s what rallying is all about, remember – turning a profit.

And the $40/plate fee is a great way to keep out the riff-raff who can’t afford it. These rally-goers are so hard-core that most will get reimbursed by their companies while they dine during their paid lunch hour….and a half.

Attendees are urged to fill out “comment cards” to send to their legislators in Juneau. This is a great reminder to all of us who are on the side of Alaska to contact our legislators. We don’t need a chicken lunch with a tablecloth and wait staff, and pre-printed “comment cards” to speak up. Contact your legislators today and tell them not to give away Alaska’s future with no strings attached.

And the festivities are underway!

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UPDATE:

Here’s the comment card.

It’s a good thing I didn’t eat a chicken lunch. Former Governor Tony Knowles sucking up to the oil companies has taken away my appetite.

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UPDATE:

For this “rally” the lunch fare is “crude.”  Oily chicken is the only thing on the menu.

UPDATE:

The rally speakers, yukkin’ it up. Maybe they noticed the lame Sarah Palin impersonator sitting next to Governor Sean Parnell. Who IS that?

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UPDATE:

Mudmole reports that a speaker just referred to the “rally” as a “grassroots event.” Here’s visual confirmation of that claim.

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UPDATE: Captain Zero Takes the Stage!

The Governor just accused those opposed to his oil tax plan of “vilifying Alaskan families,” and asked, “”When did it become ok to smear people who work in the private sector?”

Wow.

Change must happen this year, he says. The situation is “urgent.” Is this the specter of Captain Zero hovering over the room? Sounds kinda like Frank Murkowski.
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FAIL UPDATE:

Parnell just asked all the lawmakers in the room to stand up and be recognized. Nobody stood. None there.

Rule #1 – “Know your audience.”

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FAIL UPDATE #2:

Gov. Parnell on the Senate’s bill 192: “I will accept no oil tax reductions without new production.”

“Oh, really?” says Mudmole. “Then why not ask for commitments on HB110?”

Good question.

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Best for last UPDATE

The last speaker was announced as the “Best for last”. It’s the Palin impersonator – and yes, she’s from Wasilla. You can’t make this stuff up.   She spent a while talking about how she’s an inexperienced public speaker, and she hasn’t been able to sleep because she’s been nervous. She’s a mom and a small business owner. She tells us her southern accent comes out when she’s anxious.  What are her qualifications to talk about this?  “I’m a planner,” she says.

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Best for Last UPDATE #2

“I’m not a politician,” she says. But she’s been learning. And it seems that it’s all stuck in the senate…. “and that’s only 20 people!”  I guess you learn something new about the government every day.

And sh breathlessly giggles, “Thanks for being so nice to an inexperienced speaker.”

Look, you naysayers, the oilies found a “real person” to come talk. She’s “regular.”

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And a final word from our emcee:

FILL OUT YOUR ORANGE CARD. NOW.

You know what to do, Mudflatters. This crowd was urged to “Make it Meaningful.” And yes we should. To me, meaningful is not handing the world’s most wealthy multinational corporations $2billion a year of Alaska’s money that we need for roads, bridges and schools without getting anything in return. It may be “meaningful” to CEOs, but not to the future of this state.

Contact your legislators today, because a stack of pre-printed orange cards is on the way to Juneau. You don’t have to say much. Tell them you don’t support the governor, and you don’t support an oil tax giveaway. Don’t let the orange cards have the last word. Support your legislators so they stand up for Alaska.

It’s our oil.

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And that’s a wrap. Thanks to Governor Sean Parnell and crew for being so ridiculously obvious and treating Alaskans like they’re idiots. It makes our job easier over here.

And kudos and hat tip to MudMole for the work from the trenches. If you, or any of your Mudforce should be caught or killed, the secretary will disavow any knowledge of your actions. Now, RETREAT and get out of there!

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ADDENDUM UPDATE: More infiltrator pics with captions from Mudflatter Wally Kelters

This is the sign check where these pull-themselves-up-by-their-bootstraps oil company employees could leave the signs that were made for them for their fake grassroots rally!

Here’s the coat check for all those oil company employees that dared venture out and walk across the street in the brutal 35 degree Alaska cold to fight for the most profitable transnational corporations in the history of civilization already enjoying record profits here in the 49th state.

But they want THEIR FAIR SHARE!

ConocoPhillips employees heading back across the street, braving the now 40 degree Alaska weather, after a tough day at their luncheon AstroTurf event to fight The Man!

Out of 128 tables at today’s “grassroots” oil tax reform rally, there were only 4 that were reserved for individuals-and those tables all had space available. The rest were oil industry employees enjoying PTO and a $40 lunch!

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