Oyster Roundup!

~Thick and fast they came at last, and more, and more, and more!

Here’s an almost half dozen as the country awakens from its Thanksgiving tryptophan coma…

Fox Retreats Quickly Under Sniper Fire 

“Hey! How did that guy get in here?” You could almost hear the collective WTF from Fox News.

National security journalist Tom Ricks appeared on Fox News to blast the network’s incessant coverage of the attack on the U.S. diplomatic compound in Benghazi, Libya. After saying that “Benghazi was hyped, by this network especially,” Ricks went on to say that “the emphasis on Benghazi has been extremely political, partly because Fox was operating as a wing of the Republican Party.”

Jon Scott gave a half hearted attempt to refute Ricks’ claims, and promptly got a mallet to the cranium before the host thanked him for his time and retreated to collect the shattered pieces of his credibility. It’s worth watching.

Columbia Glacier Retreat May Stall

Retreating too is Alaska’s Columbia Glacier, located on the northern shore of Prince William Sound. But we may get a little reprieve from the loss of ice by 2020. The loss of the glacier’s “tongue” has generated huge amounts of icebergs since the 1980s. The well-documented retreat of this glacier has spawned much study and computer modeling.

To answer this question, the team of researchers created a flexible model of the Columbia Glacier to reproduce different criteria such as ice thickness and terminus extent. The scientists then compared thousands of outputs from the computer model under different assumptions with the wealth of data that exists for the Columbia Glacier.

The batch of outputs that most accurately reproduced the well-documented history of retreat was run into the future to predict the changes the Columbia Glacier will most likely experience until the year 2100. The researchers found that around 2020 the terminus of the glacier will retreat into water that is sufficiently shallow to provide a stable position through 2100 by slowing the rate of iceberg production.

 Nolan the Colon Does Nome

In addition to the exciting and emotional ribbon cutting at the new regional hospital in Nome last week (thanks stimulus money!), the community’s health fair got a visitor! This one is worth a thousand words.

Poetry in Numbers 

The collapse of the Romney campaign had many causes, but one of them certainly was the revelation of the secret video tape from a Romney fundraiser where the candidate stated that 47% of the nation were just takers, and would never vote for him.

Turns out he had it backwards. When the numbers settle out, it looks like 47% will be the number of voters who did vote for Romney. Irony, coincidence, or just plain poetry.

Meanwhile, in Dutch Harbor…

(from the best police blotter on the planet)

Assault – Intoxicated caller reported being slapped on the genitals and asked that officers issue a trespass advisement to the woman who committed said act. An officer advised the man, who repeatedly requests such trespass advisements only to have them lifted days later, to call when he is sober.

Domestic Disturbance – Caller reported his wife was beating him and asked if he could hit her back. Officers contacted the intoxicated caller and determined that he had kicked his girlfriend in the head upon learning that she was trying to make plans to leave the island.

Domestic Disturbance – Intoxicated man reported that his intoxicated brother was acting crazy. Officers responded to the home and found both brothers behaving as they usually do.

Suspicious Person/Activity – An amorous bloke who in a misguided attempt to attract a mate placed his genitals on full, flapping display in the roadway instead caught the attention of a passing police officer. The luckless lad was allowed to leave without charges since the intended victim couldn’t be offended by what she couldn’t see.

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