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Friday, January 28, 2022

A Present for Linda! (VIDEOS)

Please join me in wishing Linda Kellen Biegel a very happy birthday!

Linda is one of the three managing editors here at the Mudflats, and probably the one that gets the least appreciation and understanding of exactly how much she does. Linda’s the one that sits through endless school board meetings, Assembly meetings, brainstorming meetings… She’s the one who volunteers to oversee vote counts, examines ballots, and watch polls. She’s our workhorse, our researcher who disappears, burrows to the center of the earth, and comes up with a carrot. She’s our APOC guru, our ethics expert, and the one who makes elected asshats literally run the other way when they see her coming. She files ethics complaints, and public records requests when they’re needed, never ever forgets anything, and takes no guff. Remember when they said Sarah Palin was a “pit bull?” We laugh.(insert laughter here) Next to our Linda, Palin’s a toy poodle with a runny nose.

So, here’s the story of Linda’s present.

Old-time Mudflatters will remember back in the day when a member of Palin’s zombie army, who had lots and lots and lots of time on his deranged and untalented hands, made us a little movie. Our readers got sort of upset because being awesome and supportive, they didn’t like to see the Palinbots attack. But we three (Shannyn, Linda and I) were used to dealing with much worse than this little video that popped up, and we thought it was the funniest thing we’d ever seen. It was practically covered with Cheeto dust, and fresh from Mom’s basement.

The message was simple – the three witches of Alaska (us) were so heinous, so ridiculous, and so boring that we were driving voters to Sarah Palin’s side in droves! Droves, I say!  We were basically handing her the election. Stupid us. And because we were such effective recruiting tools for the other side, our buddies in Chicago and The White House decided we needed to be thrown under the bus.

We don’t know exactly how we were thrown under the bus… Maybe it was George Soros, and Barack Obama cutting us off from our huge sneaky paychecks they were sending to our secret offshore accounts in the Caymans (that was another video). But in any case, it was all going Palin’s way so perfectly, that all they needed to do was sit by and let us hand Palin the election. But no… the guy in the basement had to spend dozens of production hours make this video telling us to knock it off. Total sense, right?

So, we watched it while talking on the phone to each other. We watched it alone, over and over. I even posted it on the blog because it just made me laugh so hard – the flames, the spinning graphics, the crazed soundtrack, the overt sexism, and who could forget that memorable subtitle: “spew venom hate spew venom hate spew venom hate.”

Luckily, it’s still stuck there in the series of YouTubes for your viewing pleasure, with misspellings and all.

After this, we dubbed ourselves “The Three Witches” – Shannyn was the deadly poison one, I was the Typhoid Mary/Bride of Frankenstein one, and Linda was the nuts one with the crazy dress.

Even now, every time I see a fun witchy Facebook graphic, I have to pass it along to my fellow witches so we can recall the good old days and chuckle.

Which brings us to today – Linda’s birthday. She posted one of those fun graphics of witchiness on her Facebook wall, and got a comment she didn’t expect.

Remember when Linda wrote that piece a little while ago entitled “Don Smith Must Go?” And then Don Smith mouthed off in a school board meeting at Shannyn and Linda by name? Well, then there was the school board election, and go Don Smith did. He got utterly squashed by former Senator Bettye Davis. You could almost hear it – like a sound effect of squashing.

Well, apparently Don Smith has a hard time controlling himself on Facebook, and the soon-to-be-ex school board member (who is clearly not thinking about being elected to anything) decided it would be fun to comment on the picture. He just couldn’t resist.


I’m the one that got to call Linda this morning and wake her up so she could see. I felt like Birthday Santa. And she loved it! It’s not often the birthday girl says, “Thanks for waking me up!”

Here it is.



So, thanks Don Smith. Thanks for giving Linda the best birthday present ever, and at the same time reminding us all of why your temperament is utterly unsuitable for public office, and why we are so glad that Bettye Davis will shortly be filling your seat.

Witches, out.



17 Responses to “A Present for Linda! (VIDEOS)”
  1. strangelet says:

    Happy Birthday, Celtic Diva.

    I remember that video clip from the first time. It was stupid then, and is obviously more stupid(er) now.

    Gosh, this site has grown a bit since last I visited. I should pay more attention.

  2. AKjah says:

    I may be late but here is a big ole hug Linda ((((((((((Linda)))))))))


  3. Krubozumo Nyankoye says:

    Many happy returns LKB and a thousand thanks for your tenacity and persistence in prying loose that trove of emails from the wicked witch of wasilla. Although it was also one of the most disgusting things I have ever read.

    Make that 100 thousand thanks. For the Alaskans who should have learnt a hard lesson but apparently didn’t.

  4. mike from iowa says:

    Happy Birthday LKB and as a gentle reminder that Witches are inherently good,may I present this classic from Jim Stafford?-

  5. Adam says:

    Well If you live in the Dayton Area Check

  6. Zyxomma says:

    The happiest of birthdays to Linda, and the happiest of times to all the witches. Love, health, peace, and joy.

  7. kath the scrappy says:

    Happy Birthday Linda/Celtic Diva. We all love you & am happy for you to share a magical day!

  8. goI3ig says:

    Tell Don not to leave mad. Just Leave. Happy Day Linda.

  9. AKblue says:

    Happy Birthday to one of the good witches of the North!
    You keep us informed–and sane!

  10. beth. says:

    In my experience, a young one knows how old they are to the “and a half”; their precise age is very important to them. As I’ve gotten, ahem, “older”, I’ve found that it’s not so much.

    Just the other day, I was on the phone with a fellow I’d been referred to (a lawyer-type) and in the course of our far-ranging conversation commented, “You probably aren’t old enough to remember the demonstrations of the ’60s and ’70s” to which he assured me he did remember those days because, “I turned 67 this past November.”

    Being as how November is also my birth month, I asked him “what date in November?” ,,, he is the 13th — I am the 10th. Jokingly, I said, “I’m three days older than you! But in real life, I’m 2-years younger; I’m only 65.” He then volunteered, “I was born in 1949”. WHOA, I was born in ’49, too!

    We actually had to ‘halt’ our conversation so we could figure out how old we really were…he thought he was 67 and I thought I was 65. Turns out, being 1949 babies, we’re both currently 63 and will both turn 64 in November…me, 3 days before him.

    All this by way of saying: Happy, happy birthday, Linda! See what you have to look forward to? .beth.

  11. tallimat says:

    Celtic Diva!
    Back in the early days of ADN commenting, we were one.
    Someday sister I’ll get to meet you and the other two witches!
    Happy Birthday and many more.

  12. Linda Kellen Biegel says:

    Yay!!! Thank you so much for posting this. Jeanne! It truly was an awesome birthday present! And thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes!

    Now, go on over to Anchorage Assemblywoman Elvi Gray-Jackson’s FB page. It’s her birthday too!

  13. WhichTruth says:

    Happy Birthday and congratulations. 🙂

  14. ugavic says:

    Laughing my backside OFF….I do remember all those videos, meany things you all said about SP1 if we only knew SP2 would be 10x worse!!!
    Enjoy the birthday and many hugs from this little corner of the state for all you do!!

  15. BoJoFlo says:

    Happy Birthday, Linda — Have a wonderful day — All day and everyday. 🙂

  16. Alaska Pi says:

    happy birthday LKB!

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