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Friday, January 28, 2022

Too Many Dans


In the first of what we hope will be many chuckle-worthy screw ups, the conservative Club for Growth came out with an endorsement recently which was picked up by the Associated Press, and then reported by KTVA Channel 11 News in Anchorage. Somewhere along the line, Dan Sullivan got lost in translation.

Dan Sullivan (R-OH->DC->AK) moved to Alaska to become a U.S. Senator. The carpetbagging political climber went from Palin’s second choice Attorney General, to the Commissioner of the Department of Natural Resources (the move that tipped us all off) and has been groomed and guided for quite some time.

But now, he is getting heat for claiming his posh Maryland digs as his primary residence to collect tax breaks, while voting in Alaska, which requires primary residence in order to vote. But don’t worry, he really is one of us. Because he says so. No seriously. He really is. Look, see? He has a root. And an Alaskan wife.

Protip: If you have to start every public address by talking about how you really truly are Alaskan, people know you’re not.

He’s also earning huge irony points by constantly railing against “federal overreach,” hoping people won’t notice he’s spent most of his life working for the very government agencies and people he’s busy decrying all of a sudden. Despite his inflammatory rhetoric against his DC buddies, the inside-the-beltway crew is holding fundraisers, and Outsiders are giving way more cash to Sullivan for Senate than the skeptical you-can’t-fool-me Alaskans in his “home” state.

And now, Sullivan has earned the nod from another Outside Group – The Club for Growth has endorsed him. Or have they?

Well, if you look at the image above, it would appear that they just endorsed a Dan Sullivan for Senate, but not the one who’s running. The smirking doofus you see before you is bumbling yahoo Anchorage Mayor Dan Sullivan who is running for Lt. Governor, not the Dan Sullivan running for Senate. Apparently someone at KTVA has no clue there’s another Dan Sullivan, or what that Dan Sullivan looks like. Well, neither do most Alaskans. He’s still kind of new to these parts.

The thing to remember is that both DC Dan, and Doofus Dan are equally undesirable, so as long as voters fill in the ovals against any and all Dan Sullivans on the ballot, we’re all good.



8 Responses to “Too Many Dans”
  1. laurainnocal says:

    So sad.

  2. GoBig says:

    We need to keep this two straight. Remember, the one running for Senate is carpet bagger Dan. The one who is running for Lt. Governor is silver spoon Dan. Both equally distasteful, yet separate.

  3. AKMagpie says:

    All I can say is that it is a Dan shame.

  4. Mo says:

    To illustrate my previous post about how Republicans will swallow anything,

    A Handy List

  5. Mo says:

    Doesn’t matter to Republicans. So long as the candidate is GOP, it could be Cthulhu and they’d vote for it.

    [“Ctulhu? Sounds kinda foreign. Oh well, he’s a Republican, must be OK, maybe a misspelling or something.”]

  6. slipstream says:

    Well, you can’t blame them for confusion. One bumbling yahoo is pretty much like another.

  7. Zyxomma says:

    Well, maybe KTVA started drinking early for St. Patrick’s Day. At least they didn’t post a photo of ED Sullivan.

  8. Dagian says:

    “He’s also earning huge irony points by constantly railing against “federal overreach,” hoping people won’t notice he’s spent most of his life working for the very government agencies and people he’s busy decrying all of a sudden.”

    Dan Sullivan = Paul Ryan

    Ryan spends a lot of time and energy decrying the federal government and those employed by them, not to mention anyone who receives any easily quantified benefit (unless it’s a corporation – that’s A-OK with him!)

    After his father’s death Ryan received Social Security survivors benefits until his 18th birthday, which were saved for his college education

    “In 1988, Paul Ryan’s senior year, his classmates chose him as “Biggest ‘Brown-Noser’,” overlooking the VP-to-be in other categories like “best looking,” “biggest flirt,” and “most likely to succeed.”

    Ryan began an internship in the D.C. office of Wisconsin Senator Bob Kasten (senior year of college)

    In 1995, Paul Ryan accepted a congressional position that had been offered after his graduation. He became a staff economist for an office that worked in conjunction to U.S. Senator Bob Kasten. Two years later, he began to work in U.S. Senator Sam Brownback’s office as a legislative director. In 1996, Paul Ryan worked as a speechwriter to U.S. Representative Jack Kemp along with the Director of the National Drug Control policy, William Bennett.

    Ryan was first elected to the House in 1998

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