North Pole Dentist Won’t Go Away
BY SHANNYN MOORE I was hoping the Alaska Republican Party would self-correct. The GOPers have had more than a month to make things right but haven’t yet seen a need. Oh, I know, they’re just as busy as the rest of us, getting ready for guests, looking for the top of the pressure cooker, wondering if sunburned mosquito bites were worth that day at the Slide Hole. (They were.) See, there’s a bad penny that keeps showing up in Alaska politics. I wonder why Republicans don’t get rid of him, because sooner or later someone will write a story or…
Chicken & Waffles, & John Boehner?
STRANGE OMEN #1 I should have know something was afoot in the universe when this happened just down the road from my house, begging the question, “Why?” Just to be clear, I have never actually seen a chicken cross the road, nevermind in this visually perfect allegorical fashion. I have never even seen a chicken in my neighborhood at all, though clearly there is now photographic evidence that they exist. About a quarter mile and a few hairpin mountain road turns away from the chicken sighting, is something relatively new to Alaska – a fancy gated community. It is called…
Alaska Politicians Uncovered!
If you are a person of symbology, a political mystic, or for any reason believe that anagrams have any kind of hidden meaning, then get out your crystal ball, light a bundle of sage, and wrap your head around these startling divinations. I took it upon myself to use a handy online anagram generator (or two) to share with you the deeper, sometimes darker, and often creepily accurate dimension of (echoey deep voice—->) THE POLITICAL ANAGRAM. Let’s begin with the executive branch: Governor Sean R Parnell = Plane Snarler. Hmmm… I thought that was Sen. Lesil McGuire! Lt….
Don Young’s Legal Fees. Follow the Money.
Don Young’s second ethics investigation rolls along. The FBI investigated Alaska’s lone congressman, but in 2010 it said it didn’t have enough evidence to convict him and turned the whole thing over to the House Ethics Committee. They looked it all over, and decided to launch their own investigation in March of this year. He allegedly improperly accepted gifts, used campaign funds for personal use, and lied to federal officials. Say it ain’t so. So that means a whole host of new legal bills. Just this spring, Young forked over $60k from his legal defense fund to the DC law…
Alaska Eyes 2014
The legislative session in Juneau has ended, and our elected officials have flown away from the carnage they either created, or endured. The stalwart among us, the political junkies who don’t need to take time off to lick wounds, yell at clouds, or throw chairs, will begin to think of… 2014. The courts have ruled that the redistricted map used for 2012 is not Constitutional. We literally go back to the drawing board to rework legislative boundaries. And the insanity will begin all over again. But wait, that’s not all! U.S. HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES We’ve also got our one…
Don Young “We used to hire wetbacks.”
Congressman for all Alaska Don Young is known for his verbal gaffes. The Ear just had a nice summation for the Congressman’s 40th Anniversary in office: 40 years of the mind-bending wit and wisdom we so love. Who can forget “Pribilof’s dog,” “bladderdash” and the “money we get is a piddlance of the total bill.” Well we remember his claim that he convinced his wife to get a “monogram” (you know, to prevent breast cancer). And he once reported replacing copper piping in his home with inexpensive “PCP pipe” (Ear is pretty sure he meant PVC pipe; if not,…
Alaskans Gone Wild – Say No to Frankenfish!
(Insert Jaws theme here) The Frankenfish is coming! Unless we all speak up… The push to introduce a genetically-modified, farmed Atlantic-Pacific-Salmon-Eel hybrid into the marketplace continues, but we have time to stop it. Alaska’s entire congressional delegation is all on our side on this one, so no excuse to call it a “partisan political issue.” This is about Alaska’s greatest sustainable treasure, our wild and wonderful salmon. The FDA has already issued a draft Environmental Assessment with a finding that genetically modified Atlantic salmon caused no significant environmental impact. Really? Sorry, FDA. Alaskans are smarter than that. We know that contamination…
Fiscal Cliff: Alaska Roll Call
I’m always fascinated watching the roll calls for bills that pass through the legislature, especially when we have a rare moment of harmony across party lines in Alaska. On Tuesday, an 89-8 vote in the Senate passed the “Job Protection and Recession Prevention Act of 2012,” (aka the Fiscal Cliff Bill) which lobbed the ball to the House of Representatives. Voting yes on the Senate bill were 47 Democrats, 40 Republicans and 2 independents, including both Senator Lisa Murkowski (R) and Mark Begich (D).Voting no were 3 Democrats and 5 Republicans. The 257-167 vote by which the House passed the agreement, hours…
Don Young Will Break You
Guess what, boys and girls? The Food and Drug Administration just announced that a genetically modified, farmed Atlantic-Pacific salmon-eel hybrid (also known as the Frankenfish) is perfectly safe for human consumption! Mmmmmm. Anyone want some Farmed-genetically-modified-Atlantic-Pacific-salmon-eel-hybrid dip on a cracker? Come on, don’t be shy. It’s perrrrfectly fine. The government says so. Ah, the gubmint. Alaska conservatives’ entity of choice when it comes to a target for hurling bile is the Environmental Protection Agency. But with the FDA, Alaska’s bipartisan congressional delegation comes together in a big bile-hurling kumbaya. “The notion that consuming Frankenfish is safe for the public and…
What are they up to?
Let’s do a quick check-in, and see what people are up to during the lull at the holiday season between the election, and the beginning of the next legislative session Mark Begich – Mark Begich is busy getting gold stars. The latest is for voting for the Feinstein Amendment to the National Defense Authorization Act, which takes steps to end allowing the indefinite detention of American’s in the United States. Lisa Murkowski Lisa Murkowski is “outraged” about the Benghazi incident. And “she has no patience for the constantly changing stories coming out of the White House and even less for…