IN Seeks Constitutional Ban for Same-Sex Marriage

As all Indiana residents know, we currently live in a futuristic golden age in which all crime and poverty in the Hoosier state has been eradicated; cars run on a combination of solar power and discarded Peyton Manning Colts jerseys while solid gold iPads are handed out to the populace on a daily basis. Faced with little else to do besides disbanding, the Indiana legislature decided to take up the last remaining controversial issue of our time: Gay marriage.  And despite increasing public support for same-sex marriage, many of our elected leaders have decided to take the position of banning…