Mystery Goo Identified! Sort of…

For those of you who have been waiting with bated breath regarding the mysterious orange slime that washed up on the shores of the remote Northwestern Coast village of Kivalina, Alaska, the algae experts have spoken. It’s not algae. This is why we need such folk, ready to analyze and evaluate on a moment’s notice. It turns out that the mystery goo is actually zillions of microscopic eggs. What kind of eggs? Nobody knows. They’ve never been seen before, and nobody has any clue what they are, or what affect they may have on local flora and fauna, or what…