Mitt Romney’s French Connection
What do you call a man who speaks multiple languages?
A polyglot.
What do you call a man who speaks two languages?
Bilingual.
What do you call a man who only speak one language – and poorly at that?
An American.
Goddamned right. There’s only one language worth knowing and that’s English American.
Speak it loud, speak it proud.
Speak it really slowly so that that natives will understand.
Turns out that Mitt Romney speaks French.
Can you believe it?
French.
Of all the languages that are not the biblically musical angelic language of Heaven, i.e. English American, Romney chose French. The language of beret wearing socialist surrender monkeys. The Romans who killed Jesus? They were speaking French, that’s a fact and you can look it up on the internet. While you’re at it, look up French in the dictionary, there’s a picture of Adolf Hitler French kissing Chairman Mao. It’s totally true.
And Mittens croaks like a froggy Frog eating a little gay croissant.
French is probably the language of the Anti-Christ himself – well when he’s not speaking Chinese that is.
French!
See, it turns out that during his college years back in the socialist hippy 60’s, Mitt Romney spent two years in France as a Mormon Missionary. Two years! And get this, instead of proudly wearing a huge cowboy hat and a Chinese made T-shirt with a picture of US Marines eating actual French babies covered in ketchup, and instead of demanding in a really loud voice that all Frenchmen address him in God’s English American while serving extra double bacon cheeseburgers as is the inalienable right of all Americans abroad, Mitt actually learned French and actually conversed with Frenchy French people in French!
Probably while eating French Toast with a side of French Fries dipped in French Dressing while wearing a French Tickler!
What real American would do such a thing?
And would you really want him in the White House?
I mean, honestly, what kind of American President would speak French?
Besides George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, James Madison, James Monroe, John Quincy Adams, William Henry Harrison, Teddy Roosevelt, and Franklin Roosevelt. Turns out Ben Franklin spoke French too, he wasn’t the president, but his face is on our money so it’s pretty much the same exact thing. Ok, so besides those anti-American Frenchy-loving socialist traitors, what kind of President would speak French? Did Reagan speak French? I don’t think so because Ronald Reagan was as American as the Statue of Liberty! You damned right he was. Did George W. Bush speak French? Hell, he could barely speak English American (Texan being his native tongue), but darn it he tried and that’s what matters.
You know who else speaks French?
Liberals!
That’s right, filthy America-hating socialist Nazi moderate limp-wristed wussy liberals speak French:
And he speaks French too…
Mitt couldn’t have a couple of bastard children out of wedlock with his undocumented nanny, or a couple of extramarital affairs, or a history of ethics violations, or a conviction for snorting cocaine out of a gay prostitute’s shaved ass crack in a public restroom, or claimed a personal endorsement from Jedi Jebus, or have put out a bunch of racist and bigoted newsletters, or consulted for the very organizations what destroyed our economy, or even have a couple of pictures from his college days sitting on a Kegerator smoking a doobie and wearing a Party Naked T-shirt with the sleeves ripped off like a real patriotic conservative American hero of Patriotic America. Mitt hasn’t even molested one Congressional Page! Oh, no. No, Mitt has to go and learn French.
Why, I bet he listens to the Dixie Chicks!
Mitt Romney is the kind of guy who would have an autographed poster of Anthony Weiner tacked up on the wall in his garage!
Oh you think that’s going too far, do you? He speaks French! French! He’s bilingual! And bilingual sounds a lot like bisexual! Which is only about one slobbery French man kiss away from just being out and out a flaming rainbow colored sparkly homosexual!
Bilingual, sounds a lot like two-faced to me.
He speaks French, just like John Kerry! John friggin’ Kerry. What’s next? Are we going to find out Romney was awarded a Silver Star and a couple of Purple Hearts? Who the hell would want a guy likethat as President. Honestly, you’re talking about somebody that isn’t even smart enough to arrange something as simple as a draft deferment for patriotic conservatism. Now, how would a Commander in Chief like that have the fortitude to be able to send other people’s kids off to die in a foreign land? Seriously. Think about it.
In the name of Fulminous Angry Bearded Capitalist Jesus, what else is a man like Mittens capable of?
Why, he might even know math!
Imagine a President who believes in that science crap! Why he might believe that the earth is more than 6000 years old! You ever talk to somebody who knows math and science and stuff? First thing they do is start in with all that totally unsupported gibberish about how it would have been impossible for Noah to have brontosaurs on the Ark while the Deluge was creating the Grand Canyon. They’ve got all those equations and radioactive decay things and fossils and stuff that supposedly shows that the Earth isn’tthe center of the universe like it says in the Bible. People like this think they’re smart because they know math, but they don’t even know what the word “theory” means! Honestly, people like this would believeanything. Why, why what if Mitt Romney believes in Global Climate Change? Holy Mackerel!
I heard that Romney once gave a homeless illegal alien a sandwich!
That’s right. Shocking, I know. Just gave a hobo a sandwich. Didn’t make him earn it. Didn’t tell him to get a job and stop dragging down America. Didn’t tell him to go back to Mexico. Didn’t force the man into indentured servitude on his family’s Texas ranch where the filthy bum could learn about American capitalism from the example of his betters. No, just gave the man a big old socialist sandwich. Then, of course, he probably gave the man healthcare too! And a voucher for a free abortion!
Honestly, where does this end?
He speaks French, there’s no telling where that leads – honestly what if it turns out Romney believes that the Constitution applies to everybody, even gay people?
French is the gateway drug to liberalism, Folks, mark my words!
If Romney was a real Conservative, he’d learn to speak a good capitalist language.
Like German.
Just check out the Jeans that Mitt wears—–Some think they are women’s designer jeans——Is this a French thingy??
As for speaking French—-I didn’t do too well in French class. My teacher was German and spoke 8 languages. The class was packed at the beginning of the year. Only 8 of us finished. Whew!
Getting a “B ” from this man was like winning the Lotto.
Colbert Super PAC Releases Romney Attack Ad In South Carolina
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/01/15/colbert-super-pac-release_n_1207318.html
Brilliant — absolutely Brilliant! I do love me some Colbert.
Hmmmm, suppose either Mitt or SCOTUS will mind terribly much the logical amongst us turning the corpeoplerations into Solyent Green? beth.
Quel est bon pour l’oie est bon pour le jars. (What’s good for the goose is good for the gander!)
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-503544_162-57358949-503544/excusez-moi-gingrich-may-also-speak-french/
You all had lots of fun after I left here yesterday evening.
To continue on this Sunday morning, Irishgirl, @ #17, check our blurbs in #10+++.
I think we covered that (pun intended), if you will “Pardon my French”.
As for Romney’s fluency in the french language, I agree with you, Pat.
He probably has not used it since his religious deferment to avoid being drafted.
Oops…yes I did miss it. I didn’t recognise the lingo! 🙂
I mind the time when another faux Texan of great stature,who spoke American as badly as he portrayed his compassionate conservatism as Potus,one George Weasel Bush,who stated thet it was too bad the French didn’t have a word for entrepreneur. As all French bashers who disremember history,if it wasn’t for some timely help from the surrender monkeys from France,Americans would be speaking a much different sounding English-the King’s English. Cheerio and all that rot.
🙂
Haha!! I’ve gotten funny looks (from the less-educated, of course), when I’ve described myself as an entrepreneuse. They just don’t understand adjusting the parts of speech for gender. I amended my description to “entrepreneurial” in later conversations.
I used to speak French. I hung out in French-speaking parts of Canada, and used my junior high and high school French to learn more. I can still read pretty well, but it would take practice to become conversant anymore. Apart from that, I probably pushed French out of the way to make room for the Portuguese and Spanish I learned later (yes, I used to joke that I was learning Latin backwards).
So funny. He doesn’t want anyone to know he is bilingual and I would love to speak French fluently. The three plus years I had just weren’t enough. Yet more proof that I have nothing in common with Mitt.
I see no one has mentioned French letters – Santorum definitely would not approve of those! 😉
Funny as hell. I suspect this “issue” is to divert the Republican base from the fact that Mitt is a corporate raider. Newt got raked over the coals for bringing up a real issue about Mitt.
They also too speak French in French Guiana and in the Congo (and of them, all of them). It must be a conspiracy to eradicate American.
He also speaks Spanish, which is perfectly understandable since his father snuck back over the border to run for President.
Polyglot is a dirty word in Republican circles. It’s bad that anyone should value communication. Bilingual is almost worse because it means those damned Mexicans are assimilating and might actually have some power. Never mind that Puerto Rico has been a territory for how many years!!?
Our next door neighbor in San Antonio had a running feud going with the public school system…as he so succinctly put it: “I don’t want no kid of mine having no bilineal education.” Yup, you guessed it — he was Anglo and exclusively spoke American (albeit -ahem- oddly). beth.
Mon Dieu Mes Cher Amis Americain,
Sacre Red, White and Bleu
There were some French people called the Situationists who actually brought down the deGaulle government in 1968. With grafitti. You can look it up.
… another one who thought he was god’s gift to humanity.
is grafitti a French word ??
Italiano. Effin’ papists!
Dang it.. you left out the part where Speaking French leads to French Kissing, which of course is the Gateway to promiscous sex and having babies that live on Welfare and Food Stamps….
I thought that was what happened when conservatives allowed their daughters to get the HPV vacine?
Wait a minute, Ben, did you miss Jim’s mention of French Ticklers? Thought so… 😉
I’ve been blinded by Ricky Santorum…those sort of things are forbidden,, on two seperate issues because they are “beneficial” to women….. and to quote Forest Gump..”and that’s all I got to say about that”……. 🙂
Don’t you know that permitting all that French kissing just leads to ‘a license to do things in a sexual realm that is counter to how things are supposed to be’.
And we simply can’t have that!
(A complete description of ‘how things are supposed to be in a sexual realm’ will be detailed in the new book “The Unpleasant Duty of Republican Sex”. It’s a short book – only four pages long including the table contents and index. And there are NO pictures of anything because you’re SUPPOSED to close your eyes and think of England. Or maybe that was NEW England because we shouldn’t be thinking of any furrin countries whilst performing our procreative obligations because the little childrens might come out with funny accents.)
Thanks, AKM, for giving Mr. Wright and his Stonekettle Station a wider audience…
Generally people are admonished not to encorage me. Just saying.
c’mon Jim… that’s just your wife who tells everyone not to encourage you …. which just means the rest of us just HAVE to do it !! 🙂
There is that, I admit.
Don’t listen to them!
Don’t encourage him, FTD!
Hilarious because we all have friends and relatives who “reason” just like this, don’t we?
I mean, c’mon:
“I heard that Romney once gave a homeless illegal alien a sandwich!
That’s right. Shocking, I know. Just gave a hobo a sandwich. Didn’t make him earn it. Didn’t tell him to get a job and stop dragging down America. Didn’t tell him to go back to Mexico. Didn’t force the man into indentured servitude on his family’s Texas ranch where the filthy bum could learn about American capitalism from the example of his betters. No, just gave the man a big old socialist sandwich. ”
That made me grin so hard my lips touched my ears.
What’s even more funny, Mo, is that it turns out to be completely true.
Oops the hyperlink didn’t come through. http://tinyurl.com/7c94jf2
Wow, I thought that was going to be about a sandwich. For anyone who does not care to click through, it’s a description of one of the cheaper votes Willard bought.
So then….you’re saying that Mitt is (French) toast”?
No Lynne, I don’t think he is French Toast, but I would not be surprised if he were “un milquetoast” at home, saving all of his “joi the vivre” for what he likes to do best, fire people and make money hand-over-fist.
Why would you need to speak slow to natives? We understand more then you think.
It’s not talking about Alaska natives. It’s satire, and making fun of Americans who think that if they are in a country where people (the natives of that country) don’t speak English, all they need to do is speak English slowly and loudly and they will be understood. It’s satire. AKM
Hahahahahaha.
C’est vrai! Willard was playing chess, and he said “J’adoube” when he took back a wrong move.
This will backfire in Newt. The one thing I can stand about Mitt is that he speaks French.
Maybe I’m just warped, but I couldn’t stop laughing as I read 🙂
Ditto. Me, too. Also 😉
“Freedom fries!”