My Twitter Feed

November 27, 2023


No Time for Tuckerman -

Thursday, August 3, 2023

The Quitter Returns! -

Monday, March 21, 2022

Putting the goober in gubernatorial -

Friday, January 28, 2022

Christie is the New Palin


I wanna be like YOU!

In Alaska, there have lately been many comparisons of Governor Chris Christie to Alaska ex-half-governor Sarah Palin.

To wit: a close circle of micromanaged advisors from whom utter loyalty is demanded; an open abhorrence of the press when they pull outrageous stunts like asking questions; a certain tone deaf quality and tendency to double down when bad behavior is called out; wielding the power of the office in full force political payback; and a complete lack of hesitation to throw anyone and everyone under the bus to save one’s own very thin skin. And come on – the Bridges and Candidacies to Nowhere jokes write themselves.

But today, watching the newest wall-to-wall coverage of Chris Christie in the news, the similarities were almost eerie. They were so eerie, in fact, that I felt compelled to put on my spelunking gear and go on a little expedition back into the Mudflats archives. I had to go rappelling to some very dark corners indeed, but I managed to locate the pile of information I was looking for – and it was still steaming.

Remember Troopergate? Sorry to assault your grey matter in such a way, but it has to be done to make the point.

For those of you whose brains have used various defense mechanisms to block it out, here are the Cliff notes.

  • Palin fired her Public Safety Commissioner Walt Monegan, because he wouldn’t bow to pressure by Todd Palin and members of the governor’s staff to fire her ne’er-do-well ex-brother in law State Trooper Mike Wooten who had just gone through a messy divorce with her sister.
  • This happened right before John McCain decided to go rogue and stick it to the country by nominating an incompetent, unprepared, screeching pit bull from the Russian borderlands to be his VP.
  • At the time, many of us thought that Troopergate would be a deal breaker, and that Palin would never get the nomination once her petty middle school style of governance was being reported in the papers for all to see. Silly us.

A bipartisan committee of the Alaska Legislature decided to investigate Monegan’s firing, and Palin was ultimately found guilty of abusing her power as governor. Palin responded to this legislative finding of guilt by telling the press this:

(She was found guilty. Remember this. GUIL-TY.)

“Well, I’m very very pleased to be cleared of any legal wrongdoing … any hint of any kind of unethical activity there. Very pleased to be cleared of any of that.”

If you’re confused, it’s because you should be.

But here’s the part where she apparently wrote the play book for another Republican governor who would some day be facing a gubernatorial scandal of his own on the other side of the country. On the very same matter, Troopergate, Palin filed an ethics complaint against herself. She did this in order to trigger an investigation of herself by the Personnel Board, a panel of gubernatorial appointees who picked an investigator to ask Palin a bunch of questions and decide whether she was guilty or not, and to do it more quickly than the legislative investigation.

Here’s a little snippet from a Mudflats post dated September 10, 2008.

Palin has become very fond of the preemptive strike.  Once again, in a less than shocking pre-emptive power play, Governor Palin’s Personnel Board has concluded Palin’s investigation of herself.  That’s right, she decided to just jump right in there and investigate herself, because the bipartisan Legislative investigation just couldn’t be impartial.  Like her.

So, drumroll please… Palin has declared herself INNOCENT!  She’s done nothing wrong!  Boy, that was a nail-biter.

And now eight years later, Governor Chris Christie has pulled the same stunt.

In the wake of the scandal known as TrooperBridgeGate, Governor Palin Christie has commissioned an investigation of himself. There was all kinds of research and rigorous interviews of Chris Christie. He was interviewed with such intensity and fervor that it wasn’t even necessary to interview his aide Bridget Kelly, who wrote the e-mail saying, “Time for some traffic problems in Fort Lee.” Or David Wildstein, a high school classmate hired by a Christie appointee to a swanky job with undefined responsibilities at the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey. Or Bill Stepien, Christie’s campaign manager who engaged in email correspondence with Wildstein about the political fallout from the lane closures. What do those three know, anyway? The only one who really knows what Chris Christie knows is Chris Christie.

And now, Christie’s investigation has determined that Christie had no involvement in creating the politically motivated traffic jam on the George Washington Bridge last September. Just like he’s been saying all along.

HE’S INNOCENT, you haters! Take that Democrats, and lamestream media. You sure have egg on your face now! At least all that taxpayer money that funded Christie’s probe of self went to a good cause. VINDICATION!

“Our findings today are a vindication of Gov. Christie,” lawyer Randy Mastro, who headed the investigation, said at a news conference Thursday.

But of course this investigation isn’t good enough for SOME people. The beleaguered governor must still clear two more probes – one from the state Legislature and one from federal prosecutors.

For some reason, the findings of Christie’s investigation of Christie were met with some skepticism by those who are conducting the other investigation of the scandal which, no doubt, will be completely biased and involve interviews with those unreliable players who are not Chris Christie.

“It reads more like a novel than a work of fact. It’s very difficult to tell the truth when you don’t hear from all sides.” said Assemblyman John Wisniewski, chairman of the legislative panel investigating the incident.

But really, as far as you (a 2016 voter)  are concerned, there’s no need to pay attention any more. Hasn’t the man been through enough? He spent a good long time today at a press conference fending off reporters, and refusing to answer their stupid questions that were “beneath the office.” It must be exhausting. So give the man a break. He has done all that he can do. He’s said he’s innocent like DOZENS of times now. You bullies just go about your business and leave him alone.

And if, perchance, this whole politics thing doesn’t work out for him because of the hateful haters, there’s always Fox News commentary, and a reality show about New Jersey. I mean… if you’re going to continue robbing tips from the playbook of the master.



18 Responses to “Christie is the New Palin”
  1. mike from iowa says:

    After a couple days of sole searching (plus waiting for Grand Girlie molly from iowa to go home so I could have my computer back) I,I determined I made a slight mistake in my missive about Fat and Furious and Palin. I suggested Palin could eat all of Christie and a Red Bull. I should have said Red Bull Light because it is a well known fact that Ms Quitter is watching her waistline.I am mike primeval enough to correct this mistake. Done and done.

  2. I See Villages From My House says:

    “I don’t micromanage my managers and ask them to hire or fire anyone.” – Governor Sarah Palin on the Branchflower Report findings that she abused her power @ the 3:57 mark

    “I just don’t know all the information out there, but it’s hard to be the CEO of an organization and not know what the closest people to you are up to,” the former Republican vice presidential candidate said Tuesday on “Inside Edition.” “I know when I was mayor and manager of this city and then governor of the state, certainly you know what your top aides are up to.”

    The report says she knowingly “permitted Todd Palin to use the governor’s office and the resources of the governor’s office, including access to state employees, to continue to contact subordinate state employees in an effort to find some way to get Trooper Wooten fired.”

    Palin, who has previously said her administration didn’t exert pressure to get rid of trooper Mike Wooten, also disclosed that members of her staff had made about two dozen contacts with public safety officials about the trooper. “I do now have to tell Alaskans that such pressure could have been perceived to exist although I have only now become aware of it,” Palin said.

    Read more here:

  3. labman57 says:

    Irony — Palin’s banal mantra during her run for VPOTUS was that she said “no thanks” to the ‘Bridge To Nowhere’ … whereas Christie’s team deliberately created a Bridge to Nowhere.

  4. kath the scrappy says:

    Wow Jeanne, how soon we forget and how WELL you connected the dots!!! Mouth dropping even.

    Kid Sis & I have been following this story since it first started. We were flabbergasted to see how Bridget Kelly (mother of four) was the only person thrown under the bus with the “•••• shaming” and new found info of the affair with Stapien. So, Stapien “knew” but did nothing to stop the events?

    This is getting snarlier and snarlier. Sure glad that MSNBC stayed on the case!!! Were these people thinking that by keeping their mouths shut & taking the 5th, Christie would find new jobs in the future for them? After all this WHO would even hire them?

    Here’s another excellent read, a humdinger of a dissection!

    4 ways Christie’s ‘innocence’ hurts his chances in 2016
    03/29/14 01:53 PM—Updated 03/29/14 03:59 PM

  5. Alaska Pi says:

    AKM- I laughed til I choked!
    Then I remembered more things about ole whatzername and the whole investigations stuff and nonsense.
    And the endless ripples of damage we had to deal with as regards the guilty gov. I will never forgive her for the slap at our good Senator Elton when he left to work in DC and the multiple slaps she dealt us, his constituents, whilst playing games with our seat/voice in the State Senate. She never forgave him as the voice of the Leg Judicial Council, she never forgave Rep Kertulla for speaking against her during the VP run, and she had no problem playing a political game which deprived over 15K Alaskans a voice in the Legislature for a whole session. Ole guilty gov is still out there tailoring her blabbing to the lil-people.
    This lil person says Pffft! hon.
    It’s all pitiful really.
    For Alaska and New Jersey.
    Pffft! to Mr Christie even and as well. Been there, done that here. Hope your constituents dump your pre-emptive not-guilty buns!

    • Jeanne Devon says:

      It seems like a lifetime ago when I read the old stuff. And we can’t forget Hollis French in the list of those she ground up in the gears when it suited her purposes at the moment.

  6. OMG says:

    The comparison is spot on in this scandal. While Christie is miles more intelligent, educated and accomplished than Palin their ruthless quest for power is a little too “House of Cards” for comfort.

  7. Mike D. says:

    To Mr. Muldoon’s point that The Mudflats comes off as low budget Fox News with anatomy jokes, a much better comparison is The Daily Show or The Colbert Report. Fox doesn’t do wit and satire.

  8. mike from iowa says:

    Tip of the hat to Jeanne who wisely chose not to sensationalize this story by using stick figures to represent Christie or the zipper-Palin. In Fat and Furious’ defense,the whole point in coming clean(figuratively) is to not muddy the waters with minor stuff like truth and facts. The whole moral of this wingnut mess is the simple fact if either of the two parties of the first part ate the other party,neither would be sated. There ain’t enough of Palin for a decent meal and if Palin scarfed down Christie and a RedBull,she would be voiding her bowels like a,well like a sow griz shortly after hibernation. She’d prolly roll in it,too. 🙂 This is the evolution of wingnut politics.

  9. MonaLisa (in CT) says:

    He’s Ollie. Definitely Ollie.

  10. Zyxomma says:

    The unfunny Laurel & Hardy of the Republican party?

%d bloggers like this: