Obama!
Me: Hey, Republican! Would you like some delicious ice cream? Republican: Yes, I would. I love delicious ice cream. What kind? Me: What kind would you like? Republican: Hmmm… Do you have Rocky Road? Me: Yes! Would you like some delicious Rocky Road ice cream? Republican: Mmmmm. Yes, please. Me: Hey, did you know that Barack Obama also enjoys a nice bowl of Rocky Road ice cream? (buzzing short-circuit noise) Republican: I… I… I changed my mind and suddenly remembered that ice cream is from the devil! Me: Hmm. I think it’s a little too warm down there to make…
Palins Vindicated! Just Ask Them.
I’ve learned that I cannot ignore the Palins’ drunken rumpus. But in light of the fact that our friends at Wonkette have taken the newly released Anchorage Police Department report and run with it as only they can, I’m just gonna put this right here to give you a little taste. CLICK for the full story of the Palin’s “vindication.” You’ll be happy to know that we stand by our original illustration of the event, and that t-shirts remain available for purchase HERE. Remember, Christmas is coming and nothing says Peace on Earth, Good Will to Man like ripping your shirt…
Alaska Slugfest!
What is it about us Alaskans that we just can’t seem to avoid a good slug fest? We even had one at Mudflats Central this afternoon. When the rain stopped, everything was going really well. I was hanging out with the guests watching them check out the welcome mat, and admire the slate. You really couldn’t have asked for a more relaxed and cordial gathering… when suddenly an attractive but obnoxious gang of uninvited thugs arrived from the north. There was screeching and squawking, and preening of feathers – the whole family. It just made you want to plug your ears…
Palin Streetbrawl Gear
Available in a ladies’ ringer tee and a men’s long-sleeve raglan, The Bristol Palin Boxing Academy shirt lets you show your support for the home team! Perfect attire for that hung-over brunch at Snow City Café. Features Mudflats logo on the front. Ladies’ “Bristol Palin Boxing Academy” Ringer Tee by MudflatsStore Men’s “Bristol Palin Boxing Academy” long-sleeve by MudflatsStore Or for an all-up-front style, choose the classic panorama of the Palin Family Brawl, featuring Bristol, Todd, Track, Sarah and the whole drunken rumpus, available in a variety of colors in short and long-sleeved styles. Great loungewear for recovery day while…
You Want the Palin Brawl? Here it is.
I’ve been asked countless times over the last couple days to weigh in on the Palin’s drunken rumpus that has now dominated the national news cycle. I’ve been begged. BEGGED. “You of all people!” “I’ve been waiting!” “Don’t let us down!” Honestly, I would rather be rolled in French fry grease, sprinkled with sea salt and fed to the ravens. It may be the same reason I disdain tabloids, and rubbernecking accidents. But because I love you I will weigh in, in whatever manner there is left to weigh in on the Hindenburg that is the Palin family. I knew as…
Christie is the New Palin
In Alaska, there have lately been many comparisons of Governor Chris Christie to Alaska ex-half-governor Sarah Palin. To wit: a close circle of micromanaged advisors from whom utter loyalty is demanded; an open abhorrence of the press when they pull outrageous stunts like asking questions; a certain tone deaf quality and tendency to double down when bad behavior is called out; wielding the power of the office in full force political payback; and a complete lack of hesitation to throw anyone and everyone under the bus to save one’s own very thin skin. And come on – the Bridges and…
Fox News Nicknamed the Palins. Yikes.
You probably heard reports a while back revealing that Roger Ailes, the “deeply paranoid paterfamilias of Fox News” thought Sarah Palin was an “idiot” and “stupid.” That didn’t stop him from hiring her, though. Because he also thought she was “hot.” And if there’s one thing that the head of Fox knows about his audience, it’s that they loves them a hot idiot. And if they watch, he makes money. Welcome to the fold, Mrs. Palin. More was revealed about attitudes toward Sarah Palin and her husband Todd in a new book, The Loudest Voice in the Room, by Gabriel Sherman…
Mudflats’ Top 13 of 2013
Since it’s two millennia plus a baker’s dozen on the calendar, we thought that it seemed appropriate to give a nod to the top 13 Mudflats stories of 2013. We noticed that six of the top 13 posts are about a certain former half governor who used to steer Alaska’s ship of state. We’re not quite sure what to make of this. We’re not ones to pat ourselves on the back, but that option is less horrifying to us than thinking that Sarah Palin is still all that important. We prefer instead to believe that she has simply morphed, devolved…
Good Tidings & Great Pain, Top 10 Atrocities Ch. 4
Yes, I’ve seen it. I have seen Dan Savage’s review of Palin’s book. It’s been sent to me on Facebook, posted to my wall, sent to the Mudflats page, emailed to me, tweeted at me, left in comments. It’s very funny. Dan Savage got off easy. That’s all I’m saying. Spoiler Alert: His husband threw the book away before he’d even gotten to Chapter 1. He wrote a review of the introduction. I wish I had Dan Savage’s husband, but Dan Savage was the better man and got him first. And so here I sit, egg nog in hand, as…
Good Tidings & Great Pain – The Rill Dill
The invisible war is come. It is insidious. It lurks out of your conscious mind, weaving its evil spell. You don’t even know it’s happening because the War on Christmas is cleverly disguised… as Christmas itself. It’s like the monster under your bed, disguised as a sock. Or that person following your car five miles back that you never really see. But ohhhhh, he’s there. It’s all designed to lull you into believing that monsters don’t exist, and that the CIA is not following you to the mall. Clever. Veeeeery clever. But not clever enough for Sarah Palin. We’re still…