Putin Snubs Alaska – Not Invasion-Worthy

You can finally stop scanning the horizon with binoculars from your porch, Alaska. Turns out Vladimir Putin doesn’t want us. At least that’s what he’s claiming in front of the cameras. The Russian President and former KGB agent participated in an annual televised call-in show, where he answered questions from viewers on a wide range of topics. One of those callers asked Putin if he had any plans to “acquire Alaska.” Apparently Vlad does not find the 49th state invasion worthy. “What would you need Alaska for?” Putin asked, reminding viewers that even though Russia had sold off Alaska on the cheap back in…