Putin Snubs Alaska – Not Invasion-Worthy
You can finally stop scanning the horizon with binoculars from your porch, Alaska. Turns out Vladimir Putin doesn’t want us. At least that’s what he’s claiming in front of the cameras. The Russian President and former KGB agent participated in an annual televised call-in show, where he answered questions from viewers on a wide range of topics. One of those callers asked Putin if he had any plans to “acquire Alaska.” Apparently Vlad does not find the 49th state invasion worthy. “What would you need Alaska for?” Putin asked, reminding viewers that even though Russia had sold off Alaska on the cheap back in…
“Good Big Deal” to Russia With Love
I know how much all of you worry about the big 3 oil companies. They’re busy weeping into their hankies, and turning their pockets inside out to show us the lint, and explaining that they NEED that $2 billion a year from Alaska’s treasury or they’re just going to have to take their tin cup and leave Alaska for somewhere they can scrounge a few coins to survive. It’s not that they aren’t making money in Alaska, it’s that they’re just not making ENOUGH money. See, if they don’t get that $2 billion from us via no-strings-attached check, then they’ll…