Drill Rig Adrift Again (Update)
“The Unified Command reports that the Kulluk is now adrift. The Kulluk is estimated to be four miles from the nearest point of land.” Last summer, Shell’s “Noble Discoverer” drill ship ran aground at Dutch Harbor—or, as a company press release phrased it, “drifted toward land and stopped very near the coast.” Clearly, it was a harbinger of things to come. Another Shell drilling rig in the Gulf of Alaska is adrift again, amid worsening weather. A crew of around 250 is trying to get control of the situation as the drilling rig is now 4 miles from land, the…
2012 Parting Shots
If you live in the Lower 48, you may be under the illusion that your state knows how to do “trashy” and “no way—that’s not for real!” It doesn’t. Not compared to Alaska. So sit back with some popcorn and check out the pros. Parenting Fail If you’re going to engage your own son in LSD-fueled hand-to-hand combat in the street over a woman (!), at least don’t do it in the nude. In Spenard, that makes you such a cliché. Poor Kids Get Baked Speaking of excessive nudity, House Finance Co-Chair Bill Stoltze refused to allow a vote on…
Frankenfish or Cut Bait
When Barack Obama was campaigning in 2007, he said something that I’d been yearning to hear from a politician. He vowed, as president, he would strive to “let folks know when their food is genetically modified because Americans have a right to know what they’re buying.” I realize the difference between campaigning and being president is much like the difference between dating and being married — but that seemed like a pretty solid statement. Europe has required all foods containing ingredients genetically modified to be labeled since 1997. Fifty countries, including China and Russia, require food manufacturers to label GMOs….
AK Must Redraw District Map
Remember the new district map for Alaska? Well, it has had a tumultuous, though brief life span. Some hated it, some disliked it, some said it was fair, and a lot of Democrats clutched their pearls and gasped, “Don’t make a stink, because it could be worse!” Um. Worse than losing the bipartisan coalition in the senate, and maintaining a solid minority in the house? Gee, I’m glad we didn’t go there. Well, the kerfuffle over the map went all the way to the Alaska Supreme Court, and the divided opinion said … (drumroll please) … Back to the drawing…
Dancer Steals Xmas Mail?
Wait. What? Someone stole Christmas mail? On Christmas DAY? And they didn’t just grab stuff out of people’s roadside mailboxes, they stole the whole big giant blue mailbox itself… right in front of the post office? And they stole FOUR of them? A brazen culprit indeed. This Christmas caper would be bad enough, if the prime suspect wasn’t … Dancer! Hold on Dasher, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donder and Blitzen. Before you get your antlers in a twist, it’s not THAT Dancer. The lack of opposable thumbs should have been a dead giveaway. Authorities are seeking information about THIS Dancer,…
Oyster Roundup – Lost Pigs, Blind Dogs & Happiness
~Thick and fast they came at last, and more, and more, and more! It’s Hibernation Week – that space between Christmas and the New Year when kids are home, and food is plentiful, and all you want to do is hunker down with a book and a dog and a mug of something warm. I know you probably can’t eat another bite, but here are some delicious little nuggets on the half-shell that may tempt you. Shortest Day in Fairbanks Here, Pig! Now they’ve done it. Alyeska Pipeline has lost two pigs in the pipeline this year. Before you get…
NORAD, North Pole & Santa
As the undisputed authorities on all matters Santa (see above), Alaskans are here to keep you in the know on the subject. For instance, did you know that NORAD’s Santa Tracker will track the jolly old elf across the world so you can keep tabs? The five-letter acronym has you (and him) covered. We at Mudflats Central have used this site for several years now to make sure we are all tucked snug in our beds before Santa reaches Alaska, thus averting present disaster.
Don Young Will Break You
Guess what, boys and girls? The Food and Drug Administration just announced that a genetically modified, farmed Atlantic-Pacific salmon-eel hybrid (also known as the Frankenfish) is perfectly safe for human consumption! Mmmmmm. Anyone want some Farmed-genetically-modified-Atlantic-Pacific-salmon-eel-hybrid dip on a cracker? Come on, don’t be shy. It’s perrrrfectly fine. The government says so. Ah, the gubmint. Alaska conservatives’ entity of choice when it comes to a target for hurling bile is the Environmental Protection Agency. But with the FDA, Alaska’s bipartisan congressional delegation comes together in a big bile-hurling kumbaya. “The notion that consuming Frankenfish is safe for the public and…
NRA Compendium of Crazy
Yesterday, Wayne LaPierre of the National Rifle Association delivered the organization’s first words since the tragic shooting spree that left 20 schoolchildren and 6 adults dead at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut. The NRA promised “meaningful contributions to help make sure this never happens again.” After the NRA went completely dark on social media, and in the press for almost a week, they made their first public statement, striking a tone that was so completely out of touch with mainstream America, and most gun owners, it was necessary for the BBC who covered the event to tell its audience…
The Earth at Night
Here in Anchorage, as we celebrate the Winter Solstice, we’re noticing less and less difference between “day” and “night.” The concepts tend to blur when the sun sets before 4pm and peeks above the mountains around 11:30 in the morning. You wake up in the dark, commute in the dark, eat dinner when it’s dark, and fall asleep when it’s dark. To see the sun, you have to be intentional sometimes, and make an appointment. Further north, it’s even worse, with the community of Barrow and areas on the North Slope plunged into complete darkness for 67 days, from November…