Captain Zero Greets CPAC in Alaska
‘Tis the season! No, not the moose rut. No, not the last run of silvers. ‘Tis the season that conservatives emerge from the sea and make their landfall on the arctic shores of Alaska. We’ve talked before about the “Tea Party at Sea” ship on The Mudflats. And now, there seems to have been yet another starboard leaning vessel that has docked in Juneau. Rather than heading for the misty hills of that fair city screaming when the invaders arrived, Governor Sean “Captain Zero” Parnell did the political equivalent of throwing flowers and candy. Yes, he greeted CPAC as liberators….
Mystery of Orange Arctic Goo Solved! Again! Sort of.
[photo from NOAA] Those of you who have been breathlessly awaiting reports on the orange goo that washed up on the shores of the northwestern eskimo village of Kivalina, Alaska will be interested to hear the latest report, and that the mystery is closer to being solved. I deliberately didn’t say you’ll be “happy” to hear the report, because frankly, the latest scenario is creepier than the last one. At first, no one had any idea what the stuff was. All they knew was that nobody ever had seen anything like it in Kivalina or anywhere else. All they knew…
Mayor Sullivan’s Appointees Don’t Want to Let the School District Spend Their Own Money
On August 3rd, there was a regular meeting of the Municipality Budget Advisory Commission. (You remember, this is the commission that used to be two — the Budget Advisory Commission and the School Budget Advisory Commission. However, when the word “school” made people think twice about the appointment of one of the Mayor’s LGBT-hating wing-nutter friends, he just combined the commissions.) Anyway, this was the first meeting with two of their newest mayoral appointees: — The most-recently-appointed Amy Demboski, who has worked most of her career in dental offices, was appointed by Sean Parnell to The Commission on Judicial Conduct,…
Ben Stevens – the One that Got Away
An Open Letter from Wickersham’s Conscience to Attorney General John Burns about Ben Stevens, former State Senate President and son of the late Senator Ted Stevens. August 11, 2011 John J. Burns, Attorney General Department of Law PO Box 110300 Juneau, AK 99811 Re: Ben Stevens Dear Attorney General Burns: The Anchorage Daily News reports today that Ben Stevens will not be subject to federal prosecution. Based on the federal prosecutors’ track record in Operation Polar Pen has been pretty pitiful. But just because the Feds have abandoned their claims against Ben Stevens doesn’t mean the State of Alaska has to let him…
Turkey in the Straw Poll – Palin Crashes the Party (Updated)
Today, Iowa Republicans gather to get their little thumbs inked as they vote in the Ames Straw Poll telling an eager nation who they would vote for in the presidential election of 2012. The straw poll has predicted the president two of the last five times, and while the poll itself means absolutely nothing in real life, a poor showing in the poll could nix a candidacy. But wait… What’s that rumbling they hear coming over the horizon? Why, look! It’s the return of the bus! Yes, folks, the One Nation bus tour (aka Palin family vacation) has come roaring…
New Oil Rigs Shipped to Alaska Cause Pants to Ignite!
~Shiny new oil rigs bound for Prudhoe Bay, Alaska If you listen to the oil companies, their lobbyists, and the cadre of legislators and elected officials they’ve purchased over the years, you’d think it’s the end of the world. They run in circles, hair on fire, rending garments, pounding their own foreheads with their palms and wailing, “Nobody wants to invest in Alaska anymore! It’s too hard! We’re too regressive! The poor oil companies can’t make a living! They’re going to go somewhere else if we don’t give them everything they want! Aaaaaaaa!” It’s an ugly sight. First, of course,…
D Student in Economics Knew it All Along – the Wit and Wisdom of Sarah Palin
~Sarah Palin, the future financial prophet, in college. Her economics themed attire reads: “I may be broke, but I’m not flat busted.” Yes, those fancy spectacles that may or may not have prescription lenses certainly gave the former governor 20/20 hindsight. You see, she predicted the United States’ credit downgrade all along. Yes, she did. Alaska’s half-term fiscal prognosticator knew it the whole time. She used her favorite social media tool, her Facebook page, to deliver the lengthy “Told Ya So!” to the nation about Standard and Poor’s smack down that took the nation from a AAA to a AA+…
State of Alaska Supports Pebble Partnership’s Attempt to Silence Alaskans
~The original Captain Zero Before I go off on some rant about how my forefathers fought the British to birth a country that could VOTE, and how siding with the British to take away the right of Americans to vote should be called treason, I’ll take a deep breath and explain a few things. Since one has been filed on your behalf, Alaska, you may want to know what an amicus brief is. Commonly known as a “friend of the court” brief. An amicus brief provides individuals or organizations (such as government agencies or disability organizations) without a direct stake…
To Pray or Not to Pray…
In a political homage to Texas Governor Rick Perry, Alaska Governor Sean Parnell has joined with him today, Saturday, August 6, in a day of prayer for the nation. He won’t be taking Governor Perry up on his invitation to go pray with him in Houston, but he did issue a proclamation here at home stating that Alaskans should “seek God’s face” and pray because we are at war, facing economic hardship and natural disaster. He also asks us to pray for the strength and wisdom of leaders – presumably like those who give hat tips in proclamations blurring the…
My Spiritual Experience at an Anchorage Assembly Meeting (video fixed)
(Shay Kelly and Shane Patrick of Project 50/50) By Linda Kellen Biegel When I left for the Anchorage Assembly Meeting Tuesday night, there were certain things I already knew to expect: — Mayor Sullivan wanted the ordinance that (among other things) banned sitting/reclining on the sidewalk pulled from the agenda and sent back to a committee to be “fixed” (Translation: Mayor Sullivan was getting pounded in the press and in public opinion and just wanted it to stop) — Debbie Ossiander and/or the Mayor made it clear to the media that public testimony on the Ordinance would still be open…