Palin’s MayorMobile For Sale
Are you looking for a new ride? Don’t want to go through a car dealer? Need something that will fit the whole family… and even your kids’ kids? Looking for something that has an official seal of approval? Well then I’ve got the auto for you. A 1999 Ford Expedition with 74,188 miles needs new brakes and some other minor repairs. It’s tan and has got Air Conditioning, Cruise Control, Power Locks, Power Windows. Wow! I know? Right? I’m sure there’s going to be a lot of you clamoring for this vehicle based on that alone, but what if I told you…
Good Tidings & Great Pain – A Palin Xmas, Ch. 1
Good tidings. Great joy! And the miracle of a baby’s birth. Not just a regular baby – the Prince of Peace, the Lamb of God. A baby who would grow into a man who communed with the poor, the outcasts, the wretched, the lost souls. A man who would save them, and heal them, and love them. A giver of second chances, and hope. A bringer of love, compassion, salvation and forgiveness. That’s what Sarah Palin’s book is all about, she says in the Introduction. “Good Tidings and Great Joy – Saving the Heart of Christmas.” It’s not about trivial…
Good Tidings & Great Pain – A Palin Xmas, Intro
Today, I walked into Barnes & Noble on a mission. A horrible, horrible mission. “Hahaha,” you say, “Did you buy Sarah Palin’s new book?” And then you wait to hear what I was really doing there. Awkward pause. That IS what I was really doing there. I had a tough choice, once I found myself actually holding her book. Because, to be honest “The Zombie’s Guide to the Holidays” in the impulse buy section by the register seemed like it would be a better read. And it had a cute little snowflake bookmark. But then it hit me… “A Zombie’s…
Oyster Roundup – Cool Pope, Crazy Cruz & More
Gather round little ones! It’s time for a cool half-dozen slurpable newsy bites on the half shell. We Heart the Pope There goes that Pope again, giving Christians a good name. Sarah Palin noted, with some consternation that this Pope is sounding kind of “liberal” and her verdict is still out. While the former half-term governor of Alaska “does her homework” and figures out that Jesus was a liberal, the Pope turned his ire toward corruption. Take heed governments around the world and the Vatican. AwesomePope is not pleased with you, and says “the corrupt should be tied to a…
Greed ‘n Guns – a Very Palin Christmas
The reason we are launching ourselves a couple pages ahead on the calendar to talk about Christmas, is to celebrate one of those very special holiday events – an event that has only happened twice before, and of which this blog has felt compelled to comment. That’s right kiddos, our former ex-half-governor has written another “book.” She’s figured out that politics is kinda hard, so her books have gone from fantabiography, to fantahistory, and now to that despised and maligned holiday that’s about to go the way of the dodo because of liberals and communists, and “politically correct Scrooges,” and…
The Great GOP Cannibal War of 2013: News from the Front
I return to you breathless, stumbling into camp, clutching a piece of paper. Think of me as your scout, bringing the latest dispatch from the front. I report to you from the Great Cannibal War of 2013-2014, which some of you may know as the Alaska GOP Senate race. General Joe Miller’s’ forces are all in line. They’re hanging around, polishing their buttons, steam ironing their Snake Flags, and running a lint roller over their three-cornered hats. But the other side, the “moderate” side is in disarray. What could have been an easy primary battle, has turned into what the…
Sullivan Joins GOP Senate Cannibal Circus
Today, Dan Sullivan (R) announced his run for the U.S. Senate. This particular Mr. Sullivan has the misfortune to share his name with: 1) The weasly, morally bankrupt Mayor of Anchorage 2) The man who started the great Chicago fire of 1871, and let Mrs. O’Leary’s cow take the blame. He also holds the distinction of being the third candidate on the Republican side to be seeking the office currently held by Democrat Mark Begich. Sullivan and current Lt. Governor Mead Treadwell are expected to split the “sanity vote” (although that distinction is subjective), while former and current candidate Joe…
Half-Term Governor Palin Speaks on ‘Barrycades’
Half-Term, The Quitter – there are many things that Alaskans call former Governor Sarah Palin. She quit our state for warmer climates but – the one thing that she just can’t quit is opinion-ating on everything. As a person that quit government completely, and ‘shutdown’ her own term of office I find it interesting that she has an opinion to share on the government shutdown. But, of course she does. Here’s an excerpt of stupid: My Call For Civil Disobedience Around The “Barrycades” It’s beyond shameful to see Barack Obama disrespect and mistreat our World War II veterans so blatantly. Obama’s…
Palin Disappointed by Potential Clinton Nomination
Red Alert! We have a potential political situation here, people. Perennial thinkin-about-it candidate and Fox News on-again off-again noisemaker Sarah Palin is at risk of being disappointed. Disappointed in YOU, America. That’s right. You may not live up to the expectations of the ex-half-governor. Sit with the shame for a moment. Sit silently. Palin has announced via her megaphone at Fox News that she would be “disappointed” in the American electorate if Hillary Clinton becomes a serious candidate for president in 2016. The woman on whose shoulders Palin stood with her Naughty Monkey pumps, humbly thanking her for putting “16…
Alaska GOP Senate Race – Cirque de SoLame
Politico just ran an article focusing on the Alaska Senate race, but boy did they get the headline wrong. “Fears?” First of all, when you “fear” something, it means you generally don’t want it to happen. Fearing a GOP civil war in Alaska, for some of us, is like fearing the circus, or fearing Christmas. Oh, no! Jugglers, and cotton candy, and entertaining acrobatics! And who is that scary guy stuffing my stocking with gift cards and chocolate truffles?! Hold me! Second, the use of the future tense seems a bit… late. The GOP Civil War “may” be coming to…