Click Bishop Takes a Page from Palin – Reads Dr. Seuss
Republican Senator Click Bishop, whose district covers land from Fairbanks to Valdez took a page from Sarah Palin and read a story by Dr. Seuss to the Alaska State Senate. Well, it wasn’t quite a Dr. Seuss original – more of a revision of Seuss’ Green Eggs and Ham seen through the filter of government overreach. Unlike Half-Term Palin’s teleprompter read at CPAC last year (when she held the book as a prop), Click seems to have actually written the words down in a copy of Green Eggs and Ham. I’m hoping that he bought a new copy and didn’t ruin one of from his grandkids….
Alaska… You Crazy! Election Recap
On election night, one state in the nation voted to legalize marijuana, raise the minimum wage, and add an extra level of environmental protection for sensitive ecosystems facing development. It’s largest city also voted to overturn an anti-labor ordinance which was the brain child of a Mayor (running as a Republican for Lt. Governor) who appears to be about to go down in flames to a non-partisan gubernatorial ticket. That’s like a cool, edgy progressive place to live, right? What if I told you that this very same state has elected by a comfortable margin, a majority in the legislature…
Cruz to Wasilla
Fueled by Jitters coffee and a sugar cookie the size of a frisbee, I was as ready as I was ever going to be. I and two companions were on a political road trip north to the Valley. As we arrived in Wasilla, a small plane flew laps over the AT&T sports center, towing a sign that read “Sullivan for Senate.” In a media market filled to capacity with political ads, this apparently was the only air time left. Inside, Toby Keith, Neil Diamond, Eminem, Corey Hart, and an unlikely play list of songs presumably chosen for themes of freedom, America,…
Whiny Sullivan Operative Must Work in Hellhole
Outside Republican Sullivan operatives haven’t quite figured out how the internets work. Senate candidate Dan Sullivan is having a hard time convincing people he’s from Alaska. Most of his contributions are from Ohio, because… well, he’s from Ohio. And while he may be sticking around Alaska long enough to try to get a Senate job in DC, some of his campaigners can’t wait to get out of this godforsaken hellhole populated by dumb rubes. (Psst! Hey, “RepublicanPolitico,” we can hear you!) Yes, Sullivan’s guns for hire pulled field programs in October because of the weather. Nahhh… nobody does any field work in…
We Must Retire Don Young, and Here’s Why
I was about 10 when I heard a sermon I will never forget. The speaker that day drew a few gasps from the congregation of the Homer Christian Church when he disagreed with a passage from the Bible. He quoted from 1 Corinthians, Ch. 13, the passage you often hear at weddings: “Faith, Hope and Love, the greatest of these is love.” “That’s not true,” he said. “The greatest of these is hope.” He explained that his father had committed suicide. There was no shortage of love in their family. His father had simply lost hope that the pain of…
EXCLUSIVE Don Young Caption Contest
Of course it’s EXCLUSIVE. You think just anyone gets their mitts on a photo of the longest serving member of Congress smoking a cigar on a boat, seemingly about to menace a rubber panda man with a shotgun? And yes. This is real. It was taken this summer, and there is no photoshopping. Let’s be serious. If we were going to make up a photo with Don Young in it, even we wouldn’t have come up with this. And now… it’s all yours. Leave your caption in the comments, and we’ll meme the best ones.
Obama!
Me: Hey, Republican! Would you like some delicious ice cream? Republican: Yes, I would. I love delicious ice cream. What kind? Me: What kind would you like? Republican: Hmmm… Do you have Rocky Road? Me: Yes! Would you like some delicious Rocky Road ice cream? Republican: Mmmmm. Yes, please. Me: Hey, did you know that Barack Obama also enjoys a nice bowl of Rocky Road ice cream? (buzzing short-circuit noise) Republican: I… I… I changed my mind and suddenly remembered that ice cream is from the devil! Me: Hmm. I think it’s a little too warm down there to make…
Young Now Blames Fed Largesse for Suicide
Alaska’s lone congressman sure dug himself into a hole yesterday, didn’t he? And you know what they say. Since you’re in there anyway, you may as well just keep digging. At first it appeared as though Young may have been repentant about telling grieving high school students who had just lost a friend and classmate to suicide that the problem was the lack of support from family and friends. Matt Shuckerow responded to a request from the Alaska Dispatch News in an email stating: “Congressman Young was very serious and forthright when discussing the issue of suicide, in part because of the…
Young Insolent to Students – Suicide, Gay Sex & more
Alaska’s lone congressman, Don Young, spoke to a group of students at Wasilla High School Tuesday. If that sentence alone made you wince, then congratulations. It shows you’ve been paying attention to the rapidly crazying octogenarian who represents all Alaskans in the halls of Washington D.C. Earlier this month, Young barked at his Democratic opponent after a touch on the arm, “Don’t ever touch me! The last guy who touched me wound up on the ground, dead!” This time it’s insensitive remarks about suicide, berating friends of the victim, and comparing Alaska’s newly legal same-sex marriage to bull fornication. And…
Fan Prevents FL. Governor Debate
There was a very Palin-Esque moment of absurdity at the Florida Gubernatorial debate Wednesday night. Governor Rick Scott (R) refused to take the stage to debate Fmr. Governor Charlie Crist (D) due to a fan. We’re not talking about some crazy obsessed fan, we’re talking about the kind of fan that you buy at Costco. Just watch. Prevent your head from oscillating back and forth violently otherwise you won’t be able to view the full absurdity of this moment.