Open Thread – 12 Days of Palin (Day 3)
On the third day of Christmas, my Ex-Gov gave to me: Three Lame Tweets Two Crappy Books And a Dead Fish on My TeeVee
Cookies for Cholera? Sarah Palin Travels to Haiti.
Haven’t they suffered enough? Sarah Palin will be putting her little-used passport to work, traveling to Haiti. Yes, her old buddy Franklin Graham will accompany her on her trip. You all may remember the last time this dynamic duo visited the less-fortunate, they traveled to Western Alaska on Graham’s private jet with a one-time delivery of food boxes, stuffed with religious leaflets. And not only that, but Sarah herself brought a plate of home-baked cookies, in response to a crisis in which residents of rural communities had been left to make the horrible choice of whether they would keep their…
America by Heart – Chapter 7, The Indispensable Support of Freedom
This was a sneaky one. I read the title of the chapter thinking it might be anything. Turns out that the hidden message of this chapter is religion. We have hit the “faith” part of “Family, Faith and Flag.” Although (spoiler alert) the next chapter is called “I Hear America Praying” so we might be in for two scoops of religion in this Palin-style crap cone. Let’s get right to it. Page 181 Little Sarah had a transcendant experience when she was eleven years old. She walked out of the cabin and things seemed different when she looked at the mountains….
America by Heart – PICTURES! (in words)
Well, we had a 24-hour breather. A little intermission. A mental sorbet between courses of inedible nonsense, and sheets of trees that died in vain. And now (rolling up sleeves) we’re ready to begin again. And lucky for us, we can ease back into the whole steaming pile of pulp with… PICTURES! I cannot reproduce any of them, but I will describe them to you so you get the idea. *********************************** 13-year old Sarah Palin, already memorializing the killin’ of stuff on film. She shows the disinterested family pet (a German Shepherd named Rufus) two dead birds she shot. Look! …
America by Heart – Chapter 5, The Rise of the Mama Grizzlies, Part 2
When we last left our “author” she was knee deep, wading through the feminist swamp, trying to slog through while simultaneously engaging in painful contortions of ideology, history, and gender. This half of the chapter is no different. We’ve moved from Hillary Clinton and her bra-burnin’ ways to the earliest suffragettes, and the hard-ass workin’ pioneer chicks of the West. Page 139 It surprises some people to hear that she considers herself a feminist. She is also a “grateful beneficiary” of Title IX, the federal law that mandates equal opportunity in women’s sports in high school and college. (??? She…
America by Heart – Chapter 4, Raising (Small-r) Republicans, Part 2
I was unable to make it through the entire “family values” chapter in one sitting, so today we’ll play clean up and get that out of the way before we tackle Chapter 5, bringing us to the half-way mark when we will be closer to the end than the beginning! In this chapter we learn about how much liberals hate the family, and the real problem with Hurricane Katrina victims, and what’s wrong with America. It’s possible we may have to outlaw divorce and return to our ex-husbands and wives. Just warning you. Because you may think you’re a family,…
America by Heart – Chapter 4, Raising (Small-r) Republicans, Part 1
We’ve made it to chapter four, and there is no rest for the weary. This chapter, while mostly non-political, is maddening nonetheless. And while we get a blissful reprieve from the Founding Fathers, and Milton Friedman and Alexis de Tocqueville, we will find ourselves being irritated with Helen Keller. We will not hold a grudge for very long, though. How can you stay mad at Helen Keller? This chapter will require the use of an extra piece of equipment, you should be warned. In addition to the usual Maalox (or Pepto Bismol, your choice), adult beverage, and helmet to avoid…
America by Heart – Chapter 3, America the Exceptional
Alright, we’re on to Chapter 3… almost half way through this tripe salad. This chapter talks about how we’re the best and we’re number one, but we’re not cocky or arrogant. We have juuuust the right blend of humility and realistic analysis of our specialness to be… well… the best. And once we realize how best we are, there’s a little celebration of free market capitalism at the end and we join Sarah in her little fantasy of calling back Milton Friedman from the grave so he can kick Michael Moore’s ass and show him what capitalism is really all…
America by Heart – Chapter 2, Why They Serve
SPOILER ALERT: It’s not to avoid the long arm of the law and to save your political family a lot of embarrassment, and yourself a stay at the Grey Bar Hotel. Just thought I’d throw that out there right off the bat. So, why do “they” serve? A broad question that has no simple answer. The reasons that military men and women decide to enlist are many. In the past, many who served never had a choice. We may as well ask the question, “Why do They Teach?” “Why do They Fight Fires?” “Why do They Heal the Sick?” But the obvious…