Good Tidings & Great Pain – Blogging Sarah Palin’s Christmas Book, Ch. 3
Remember when you were a kid, and starting to get excited about Christmas, but not really thinking about gifts yet, and some delightful aunt, or your grandma sent you something in the mail – a big oversized envelope with more than one stamp – and said you could open it early? Maybe this didn’t happen to you, so you can borrow my memory if you need to. What could this surprise envelope be? And with a mandate to open early? Too good to be true. Inside was an advent calendar. A beautiful Christmas scene printed on it – a Christmas…
America by Heart – Chapter 7, The Indispensable Support of Freedom
This was a sneaky one. I read the title of the chapter thinking it might be anything. Turns out that the hidden message of this chapter is religion. We have hit the “faith” part of “Family, Faith and Flag.” Although (spoiler alert) the next chapter is called “I Hear America Praying” so we might be in for two scoops of religion in this Palin-style crap cone. Let’s get right to it. Page 181 Little Sarah had a transcendant experience when she was eleven years old. She walked out of the cabin and things seemed different when she looked at the mountains….
America by Heart – PICTURES! (in words)
Well, we had a 24-hour breather. A little intermission. A mental sorbet between courses of inedible nonsense, and sheets of trees that died in vain. And now (rolling up sleeves) we’re ready to begin again. And lucky for us, we can ease back into the whole steaming pile of pulp with… PICTURES! I cannot reproduce any of them, but I will describe them to you so you get the idea. *********************************** 13-year old Sarah Palin, already memorializing the killin’ of stuff on film. She shows the disinterested family pet (a German Shepherd named Rufus) two dead birds she shot. Look! …
America by Heart – Chapter 5, The Rise of the Mama Grizzlies, Part 2
When we last left our “author” she was knee deep, wading through the feminist swamp, trying to slog through while simultaneously engaging in painful contortions of ideology, history, and gender. This half of the chapter is no different. We’ve moved from Hillary Clinton and her bra-burnin’ ways to the earliest suffragettes, and the hard-ass workin’ pioneer chicks of the West. Page 139 It surprises some people to hear that she considers herself a feminist. She is also a “grateful beneficiary” of Title IX, the federal law that mandates equal opportunity in women’s sports in high school and college. (??? She…
America by Heart – The Rise of the Mama Grizzlies, Part 1
To be honest, I’ve been dreading this chapter. I keep hearing little rumblings about it, and I knew it was going to make my blood pressure rise. Part 2 is the real meat of the thing, so you should be alright this time without any protective head gear. Are you ready to hear all about the fed-up mama grizzlies (aka angry sows)? Well, get your pepper spray and let’s hit the trail. Page 127 Mama Grizzlies are not cuddly. They are “serious as a heart attack” creatures. Don’t hug them. “When the ones she loves are threatened, she rises up.”…
America by Heart – Chapter 4, Raising (Small-r) Republicans, Part 2
I was unable to make it through the entire “family values” chapter in one sitting, so today we’ll play clean up and get that out of the way before we tackle Chapter 5, bringing us to the half-way mark when we will be closer to the end than the beginning! In this chapter we learn about how much liberals hate the family, and the real problem with Hurricane Katrina victims, and what’s wrong with America. It’s possible we may have to outlaw divorce and return to our ex-husbands and wives. Just warning you. Because you may think you’re a family,…
America by Heart – Chapter 3, America the Exceptional
Alright, we’re on to Chapter 3… almost half way through this tripe salad. This chapter talks about how we’re the best and we’re number one, but we’re not cocky or arrogant. We have juuuust the right blend of humility and realistic analysis of our specialness to be… well… the best. And once we realize how best we are, there’s a little celebration of free market capitalism at the end and we join Sarah in her little fantasy of calling back Milton Friedman from the grave so he can kick Michael Moore’s ass and show him what capitalism is really all…
America by Heart – Chapter 1, We the People (Part 1 of 2)
OK, I’m saying it flat out. This chapter was crap. It was like a crap sandwich, only the bread was also crap. Crap on crap with a side of crap. I read it in one sitting and I kept checking ahead to see how many pages were left. I pet the dog, I reclined on the couch with a big pillow and still I could feel my blood pressure creeping up like the mercury in the thermometer of a flu victim. Actually by the end I sort of did feel like a flu victim. I don’t know who actually wrote this…
America By Heart – The Introduction
And so we begin the blogging of the book. Today, it’s just the Introduction, which will give us all a chance to steel ourselves for what is to come. As usual my internal mutterings will appear in red. Page ix – The scene opens at the Boston Tea Party rally last spring. And the first line of the book, I kid you not, is: “Do you love your freedom?!” The words rush out of me. We can tell from this opener that this book is indeed a work of fiction, otherwise it would have read: “Do you LOOOOOOOOVVVVEE your FREEEEEEEEDOMMMM?!?!?!?” The words shoot…