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November 17, 2024

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No Time for Tuckerman -

Thursday, August 3, 2023

The Quitter Returns! -

Monday, March 21, 2022

Putting the goober in gubernatorial -

Friday, January 28, 2022

Palin is Poetry.

Whoever came up with this needs to retire now, because they will never ever surpass the magnum opus that is William Shatner reading Palin’s crazy quit speech… as poetry.  This is not comedy gold.  This is comedy platinum. We now know what will assure Palin’s sucess in the future.  It’s not a translator.  It’s not a copy editor.  It’s not even an actual speech writer.  It’s a traveling bass/bongo drum duet. Enjoy…

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Boots on the Ground in Fairbanks – Sarah Palin’s Quitspeech

I was very pleased to have some great “boots on the ground” in Fairbanks for Sarah Palin’s big Quitspeech at Quitfest on Quittyday.  Thank you to Mudflatter Alaska Don who did a fabulous job reporting! There are also more pictures coming to entertain you later from other Mudflats “photobloggers.”  Truly this was a day and a speech that will live in infamy. ********************* July 26th, 2009. Abdication Day. The sun rose north by northeast of Fairbanks today at 4:30 AM, having set in the north by northwest last night shortly after 11:30 PM. It was mostly clear, with billowing dark…

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Open Thread – The Juneau Maverick Officially Dry Docked?

As reports and pictures continue to pour in from Mudflatters in Fairbanks, I’m compiling them all.  While you wait, here’s an open thread. You may be wondering why with the Wasilla Governor’s picnic, and the Anchorage Governor’s picnic, and the Fairbanks governor’s picnic….there’s no Juneau Governor’s picnic?  It is the state capital after all. Maybe they don’t want to answer the question, “What if you threw a picnic and nobody came?”  Or maybe the governor is supposed to actually be in Juneau enough so that people actually feel like they have some face time.  Since that’s obviously not the case…

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Palin’s Farewell Address – Full Transcript

Sunday July 26, at 3pm Alaska time, Governor Sarah Palin stepped down from her position as governor.  This is the transcript of her farewell address. Yup, I took one for the team. It took three hours, but I made it. I’d been meaning to transcribe her rambling crazy “I’m not quitting, I’m just leading in another direction” lakeside babble-fest, but I never seemed to get around to it. And as crazy and rambling as that one was, I think this one is even better. Boots on the ground from Fairbanks coming soon! *************************** What an absolutely beautiful day it is,…

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Sarah Palin – On to a “Higher Calling”

    It’s Quittin’ Time here in Alaska.  Yes, according to our almost former executive-in-chief, we’re yesterdays news.  Tossed like an old banana peel on the compost pile of past political ambition.  Cast off like an old peep-toe pump with a broken heel.  Jilted.  So, why are we so happy? It’s kind of like being dumped by someone who was really bad for you anyway.  Sure there are some hurt feelings.  Didn’t we measure up?  Weren’t we worth fighting for?  “It’s not you, it’s me?”  What does the Lower 48 have that we don’t?  Is it the money?  But, you said you…

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So Long, Sarah! Anchorage Bids Farewell to the Governor.

Well, today was the second-to-last stop on the Quitter Tour.  It was Abdication Eve here in Alaska.  Today at 2pm Alaska time, the governor will officially hand over the state, and all it’s unresolved problems to Lt. Governor Sean Parnell.  He’s known to us here as Caribou Ken, The Empty Suit, Sean Who? and Captain Zero.  What is he going to be like?  We’ll find out. I arrived at the Governor’s Picnic in what I thought would be plenty of time.  Boy was I wrong.  All available parking spaces were taken for what felt like miles around.  I found a lucky empty spot about…

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So Long, Sarah. The Governor’s Picnic in Anchorage.

Well, it was an interesting day at the zoo. And what a zoo it was! I showed up at the Governor’s picnic a little bit early, and was quite amazed at the number of people who were there to bid farewell to the soon-to-be-ex governor. The thing I hadn’t counted on, I realized as I was walking the half mile from the first open parking place to the picnic grounds, was the tourists. Flocks of Lower 48ers had shown up with big smiles and cameras waiting for their chance to say hello. Palin’s speech was, in a word, non-existant. You…

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Boots on the Ground at the Wasilla Governor’s Picnic

AKPetMom did some great “boots on the ground” video reporting from The Governor’s Picnic in Wasilla. What was on the menu? A whole lotta patriotic word salad with God bless America croutons!  (That means anything but politics) I thank everyone for coming out today on this beautiful Alaskan day. Thank you for celebrating the military, celebrating Alaska with us and our fiftieth anniversary of the state. I appreciate you, so many of you have traveled from outside of Alaska. Raise your hand if you… Look at all these tourists! I just thank you so much for being here. And of…

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Palin’s Third Party – Time to Vote.

She’s getting ready to shake the dust of this old town off her shiny black clothes, and hit the road to somewhere. What’s next for Alaska’s almost-ex-governor? Some have speculated a third party run for the presidency. Never one to pass up the opportunity for a good poll, Mudflats asked the question. Last week Mudflatters from far and wide stretched their grey matter to imagine what Sarah Palin’s third party might be called… They rose to the task submitting hundreds of entries. As usual, it was nearly impossible on this end to whittle down the list of witticisms, and cull…

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Quittin’ Time!

Hey, everyone! Not sure where you are, gentle reader, in this big wide world, but on the Last Frontier, it’s…. “Quittin’ Time!” Not “quittin time” like when you’re the governor and you say you can’t deal with people picking on you, and you really don’t want to give back gobs of ill-gotten money…the other kind! It is 5:00 on Friday.  Last day of the work week, and time for Governor Palin to take that metaphorical punch card, stick it in the slot, slam her fist on that big honkin’ button, and get the heck out of Dodge.  Or wherever she…

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