Open Thread – 12 Days of Palin (Day 2)
The Mudflats Choir is out in the frosty Square, ready to start us off on day 2 of 12. The conductor taps his baton on the music stand, and the singers commence. On the Second Day of Christmas My Ex-Gov Gave to Me: Two Crappy Books And a Dead Fish on My TeeVee
Open Thread – Twelve Days of Palin (Day 1)
It’s been three years, so I think we can officially classify this as a tradition. Each Christmas time, you join me in a little virtual trip to Anchorage’s lovely Town Square Park, where the tree is lit, and thousands of little blue LED lights (Thank you former Mayor Begich) twinkle in spruce, and birch trees that border the little paths through the Square. Our imaginary Mudflats Choir gathers on the frosty steps in front of the tree, their little noses red, their cheeks pink, exhaling into their mittened hands to keep them warm. They’ll be here for twelve nights, singing one…
Cookies for Cholera? Sarah Palin Travels to Haiti.
Haven’t they suffered enough? Sarah Palin will be putting her little-used passport to work, traveling to Haiti. Yes, her old buddy Franklin Graham will accompany her on her trip. You all may remember the last time this dynamic duo visited the less-fortunate, they traveled to Western Alaska on Graham’s private jet with a one-time delivery of food boxes, stuffed with religious leaflets. And not only that, but Sarah herself brought a plate of home-baked cookies, in response to a crisis in which residents of rural communities had been left to make the horrible choice of whether they would keep their…
America by Heart – Chapter 7, The Indispensable Support of Freedom
This was a sneaky one. I read the title of the chapter thinking it might be anything. Turns out that the hidden message of this chapter is religion. We have hit the “faith” part of “Family, Faith and Flag.” Although (spoiler alert) the next chapter is called “I Hear America Praying” so we might be in for two scoops of religion in this Palin-style crap cone. Let’s get right to it. Page 181 Little Sarah had a transcendant experience when she was eleven years old. She walked out of the cabin and things seemed different when she looked at the mountains….
America By Heart – Chapter 6, Are We Really the Ones We've Been Waiting For?
You thought I forgot, didn’t you… No, I just needed to take a little mental break before I picked up that book again. But thanks to determination, and a darn good work ethic instilled in me by my parents, I’m here to march forward. There are nine chapters, and we’re ready to tackle number 6. We can do this. And we will find the inspiration to go on from a very unlikely place. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the woman who encouraged me to keep going, even when the going is tough – Sarah Palin! (Slow and bewildered applause from…
Angelina Jolie's Deadbeat Dad Thinks I Was a Big Meanie to Sarah Palin
By Linda Kellen Biegel Jon Voight, the actor who made the movie“Runaway Train” in the Great Land a quarter of a century ago, came back to make another one. It’s called “Ghost Vision” and it’s filming in Alaska now. Don’t get me wrong…I am ecstatic about Alaska’s new place in the movie-making business! I have been a musician/stage worker in this town long before I was ever political and I can only offer a big THANK YOU to AK Senator Johnny Ellis and the AK Legislature for passing the “Alaska Film Incentive Program.” It’s wonderful to watch many of my…
America by Heart – PICTURES! (in words)
Well, we had a 24-hour breather. A little intermission. A mental sorbet between courses of inedible nonsense, and sheets of trees that died in vain. And now (rolling up sleeves) we’re ready to begin again. And lucky for us, we can ease back into the whole steaming pile of pulp with… PICTURES! I cannot reproduce any of them, but I will describe them to you so you get the idea. *********************************** 13-year old Sarah Palin, already memorializing the killin’ of stuff on film. She shows the disinterested family pet (a German Shepherd named Rufus) two dead birds she shot. Look! …
America by Heart – Chapter 5, The Rise of the Mama Grizzlies, Part 2
When we last left our “author” she was knee deep, wading through the feminist swamp, trying to slog through while simultaneously engaging in painful contortions of ideology, history, and gender. This half of the chapter is no different. We’ve moved from Hillary Clinton and her bra-burnin’ ways to the earliest suffragettes, and the hard-ass workin’ pioneer chicks of the West. Page 139 It surprises some people to hear that she considers herself a feminist. She is also a “grateful beneficiary” of Title IX, the federal law that mandates equal opportunity in women’s sports in high school and college. (??? She…
America by Heart – The Rise of the Mama Grizzlies, Part 1
To be honest, I’ve been dreading this chapter. I keep hearing little rumblings about it, and I knew it was going to make my blood pressure rise. Part 2 is the real meat of the thing, so you should be alright this time without any protective head gear. Are you ready to hear all about the fed-up mama grizzlies (aka angry sows)? Well, get your pepper spray and let’s hit the trail. Page 127 Mama Grizzlies are not cuddly. They are “serious as a heart attack” creatures. Don’t hug them. “When the ones she loves are threatened, she rises up.”…